Hi Sabrina, I have been dx'd 3 times myself. So I am with you and know what you mean when you say mad at the world. I was that way the last time. I was exactly as you said, it was during Christmas time everyone was walking around all happy, happy christmassy and I was maybe going to die. It sucked. I didn't let that phase stay with me long until I got into the fighting mode. Then It passed and I did feel better. I also had to take care of my Mom and Dad, both of whom I lost to cancer. We took care of each of them in Hospice care, that sucked bigtime too.
The mental part of this deal is a tough one, and can be worse if you let it eat at you. I know you said you are tired of people telling you to be positive and have faith. Well, I agree, that's what you need to do, yes it's hard. I looked at it like this, I can be mad at the world, and make my and my wife's life worse off, or I can just accept it, adjust my attitude, and get on with kicking the XXX out of this cancer, then try to have a normal life. I finally agreed that worrying doesn't do anyone or anything, any good. It just robs you of the peace of today.
That being said it's hard, very hard. But it's what life has dealt us, so we have to do it.
Two caregivers on our site are @tatianna and @FreeBird they can give a little more from the perspective of the caregiver.
I wish you the best, and please ask if you have any questions.