• "God won't give you more than you can take"

    Asked by Jalemans on Tuesday, August 5, 2014

    "God won't give you more than you can take"

    Grr... Has anyone had someone say this to you? Or how about "I have a personal relationship with God & I will pray for you" or worse yet some sort of hinting that God must be punishing you?

    I believe in god, but I don't believe god "gave" me cancer. Does anyone really have the audacity to believe that they somehow have a connection to god that is better than someone else's? Of course people sometimes have to bear more than they can handle which results in all sorts of aftermath. I am not a perfect person, but if things worked where you were "punished" for wrong doings, all the very evil people would be punished & we wouldn't need a justice system.

    If someone prays for me, terrific! No need to make comments further than that.

    People may be trying to be comforting, however, it is not.

    29 Answers from the Community

    29 answers
    • lilymadeline's Avatar

      I believe in God as well, but I don't believe that there is an evil and malicious God that would punish you! Bad things happen to good people and it is just beyond our understanding. I believe in a loving and gentle God but I've gotten a few nasty comments like this from people, it reveals their true character and gives you the opportunity to weed these bad apples out of your life. Good luck to you and God bless!

      almost 7 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar

      That saying has been around a LONG Time and it's mostly used by People who HAVEN'T been challenged yet.....OF COURSE we have no choice in the matter...we HAVE to accept it....either as a challenge or a death sentence.....Or maybe both....Sayings are stupid.....I don't believe God has ANY affect on us while we are here. His gift of Free will and happenstance are the rest...and of course HOW we comport ourselves here on Planet Earth. Be Kind and Love!!!!!!!!!

      almost 7 years ago
    • Ejourneys' Avatar

      My cousin used to say that God didn't give her more than she could handle. She died of morphine poisoning at age 44 after a long addiction.

      I just focus on what life throws at me and do the best I can.

      almost 7 years ago
    • KLC's Avatar

      I think some people are just at a loss at what to say. . . if they know that you're religious, they may feel that saying something along that line might be comforting to you. Sadly, the saying itself is untrue. .if it were true there would be no suicides! Hang in there Jalemans, have patience. Many people, on a regular basis - open mouth and insert foot ! : )

      almost 7 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      I think I have had Baptists, Methodists, Jehovah's Witness, Catholic and most of the rest want to pray over me or with me. It's fine with me, but I'm not drinking any Kool-Aid. I believe like I do and don't need to be whacked over the head with another religion. I do appreciate the sentiment though.

      almost 7 years ago
    • Emmalee's Avatar

      I haven't had any one say much more than "ill pray for you". I'm not religious (I'm agnostic) but the sentiment is still appreciated :)
      You can always make humor out of it though. I've heard the saying that God only gives you what you can handle, and my friend said that and then followed it with "God must think you're a [email redacted]" It was pretty funny.

      almost 7 years ago
    • Keith59's Avatar

      I am a firm believer in God and his active role in our lives. No, I do not believe God gave me cancer. I do believe he can heal me. Blessings.

      almost 7 years ago
    • MMarie's Avatar

      When people tell me that, I say, "I don't believe it. I believe we ARE given more than we can handle. That is why we are given relationships to take care of. We need each other, especially when times are tough and we feel alone." ..............think of this group. We need each other.

      Some people actually believe those words are directly from scripture, although that particular scripture is talking about not being tempted beyond our ability to escape.

      almost 7 years ago
    • MsMope's Avatar

      If there were a god, why would she/he/it micromanage our lives in that way? It's illogical in too many ways to mention.

      People said crazy things like that to me when my brother was killed. Claptrap like "He's in a better place" or "God must have had a different plan for him." None of that was helpful or comforting. It was like salt rubbed in a wound.

      But - what can you say to people who are trying to be helpful and comforting? Maybe their hearts are in the right place. More than anything, I think some people just don't know how to say a heartfelt original thing. They default to platitudes.

      I wish more people would ponder the meanings of the clichéd things they say. Some truisms seem quite true - like salt in a wound being painful. Others are conversation fillers for people incapable of original thought. Can you fault people for meaning well while being unenlightened or unoriginal? Hmmm.

      almost 7 years ago
    • Carool's Avatar

      MsMope, yes! Most of my friends are either atheists (as I am) or faintly religious but, during my treatment, they never said anything to me about a god helping me ("Why ME, when so many really suffering people are being ignored?"). People mean well, as everyone is saying. Just smile and nod and roll eyes.

      almost 7 years ago
    • Janetspringer's Avatar

      I believe God may allow things such as He did with Job, but I believe He is there with me. I also believe in natural law where if I don't live a healthy life in a world full of man-made toxin, I will experience the consequences. Whatever God gives me or allows to happen to me, I have faith He will see me through. I appreciate all the prayers I have received. I believe they have made the difference. I will continue to fight, but if God chooses to take me to my heavenly home, I am ready.

      almost 7 years ago
    • cam32505's Avatar

      Unfortunately, we have to just be polite because non-cancer people have no idea what to say to us, and saying nothing doesn't seem to be an option. Just take it with a grain of salt, or chose to educate people by letting them know their comments aren't appropriate. Anyway, best of luck to you.

      almost 7 years ago
    • amontoya's Avatar

      I'm an atheist and have no issues with people offering to pray for us. It makes THEM feel better, not us. It makes people who believe feel like they're doing something...all they can do. As for personal relationships with "god", I don't think so...

      almost 7 years ago
    • SettledSue's Avatar

      I also don't like it when people say that everything happens for a reason. How is that supposed to be comforting? Sue

      almost 7 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar

      I do believe all the things mentioned above. However I really only discuss them with like minded people. I do believe God gave me cancer not as a punishment but as a challenge. Punishment comes later after you die. However I do believe that how we meet the challenges God gives us sort of mitigates the punishment we get after death. And I know I deserve a great punishment.
      Yes people have said all those things to me and I have found them comforting. But those people know that I am like-minded.

      almost 7 years ago
    • chey11's Avatar

      Thank you! I'm so glad to hear someone say this. I also believe in God, but do not believe he gave me cancer. He also gave us freedom of choice.

      almost 7 years ago
    • Jan1ce's Avatar

      i'm spiritual not religious... if someone wants to pray for me, fine. if i want to pray, fine. sometimes i just feel like it - do i pray to god? sometimes, something not - i'm just putting it out there. i usually tell people i am *thinking* of them and like to hear the same back. there's some strong therapeutic value in a person giving you all their attention and caring thoughts - i believe this is why a lot of seemingly hocus-pocus therapies work, like reiki.

      do we get handed more than we handle? sure, i think so. a better way to put it is you are stronger than you think. (most of us, anyway)

      almost 7 years ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

      I'm not Christian, but I do believe in a higher power. When someone says they will pray for me, I thank them. Good energy is good energy regardless if that person has the same belief system as me or not. That's part of why I will usually type something like "sending good thoughts your way" here. We all need good thoughts, right? Whether we call it prayer or something else.

      almost 7 years ago
    • created's Avatar

      I am a cancer victim. I am also a Christian. Do those two things have anything to do with each other? No. God did not give me cancer. But because He loves me, He has promised not to let me go through it alone. I believe he placed people in my way(my best friend and husband, friends and family)who would treasure me. Though He did not give it to me, He showed me how to make the best of it by opening my eyes to precious things I had always taken for granted. When I say "I'll be praying.", that should show how very much I care. I'm handing you over to Someone is more compassionate and more loving than I have the capacity to be. If I upset you by doing this, please accept my apology. This is just second nature to me. Through my cancer, God became very real to me. He carried me through a lot of it and walked with me though the rest. I wish you could know Him the way I do.

      almost 7 years ago
    • Maggie7's Avatar

      I believe that the adversity in our lives is when God uses us to show others His love for us all and how he does take care of us. He is my Comforter, my Friend and Caregiver. When folks look at me and tell me I don't look like I have cancer, I look at them and say, "Thank You Jesus", and then begin to tell them how He has blessed me on this journey. They are always amazed to hear that I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. This journey has opened so many doors for me to share our Sweet Jesus and when He opens one, I walk through with His Joy, Love, Grace, Peace, Mercy and Strength. The Joy of The Lord is my Strength. He always covers me with His Blood and Love. He is Good...ALL THE TIME and will NEVER leave us.

      almost 7 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar

      Free Will is the Ultimate Gift we have been given. I had the Right to refuse treatment but in some places and at a certain age you are MADE to take the Treatments even if they are killing you. People HAVE been taken to court.
      SO....GOD I believe YOU ARE AWSOME....You created the Sky and Rainbows like I saw yesterday at dusk, a beautiful swaying Willow Tree and a Flower and of course ME and YOU...

      almost 7 years ago
    • glam's Avatar

      I normally answer to that that I wish God didn't trust me that much!!!! I try to think about the feelings of people instead the way they express it....because there are people that are not very good at saying things but they do care for us....the meaning of words most time is much deeper than the words themselves....so look inside the heart of those people, what they want for you and if you like it just be thankful.....I do believe in God....I don't believe God gives cancer to any of us, no way.....what I do believe is that God never abandon us and give strength for us to deal with what lives brings to us.....Trust it....wishing you all the best....with all my heart and soul.....God continue blessing all of us

      almost 7 years ago
    • FreeBird's Avatar

      I like that one, and "everything happens for a reason."

      almost 7 years ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar

      I am a deeply religious person who believes strongly in God, Jesus, Heaven and XXX. It gives me great solace to believe that when I die, I will spend eternity in Heaven. I covet prayers and could care less about people's "good thoughts."

      I do not believe God gave me cancer but He gives me peace that passes understanding (even mine) to accept it. My faith means I live life happy and comfortable. I want to continue living on this earth, but I am not afraid to die. Sometimes I wonder why I wouldn't rather die (given what my faith tells me Heaven is like), but the answer is, "I don't know but i am happy here for now!"

      I DO believe that some people are faced with more than they can handle.

      almost 7 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar

      Hope you guys DON'T Mind but I Just couldn't resist posting my song


      I write a lot of songs about MY Struggle including a Song called THE STRUGGLE.

      This song is just my running conversation with GOD....

      almost 7 years ago
    • Judt1940's Avatar

      I pray that God will give me the grace to face whatever is to come. Honestly, seems to be just what happens. If it were punishment why so many innocents suffer such horrible things? Not just can

      almost 7 years ago
    • Judt1940's Avatar

      Sorry. not just cancer. I certainly have done nothing to have had the good things I have experienced. Scares me, God may say I've been good to you now its payback. Guess I'm serious, in a way.

      almost 7 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar

      I better way to put it is God will not give you anything he cannot handle.

      almost 7 years ago
    • Rolltidelynne's Avatar

      I am a Christian but like the above people I do NOT believe God gave me cancer as a punishment ha ha. I have been guilty saying that phrase to myself!! But never to others who were in a difficult situation!! For me, it's a reminder I can handle things that are thrown my way. ( or at least attempt to handle them:) ) I haven't had cliches said yo me. At least I don't remember them if they were said. It is hard to say something to people you care about and maybe the attempt at being supportive comes out offensive or wrong. But I don't get upset, I try to remember they are trying to be supportive! But like Livewithcancer said, God has given me a strength in being calm and peaceful w my diagnosis and situation. I am in a Good place mentally n emotionally. I believe a positive attitude helps tremendously and hopefully helps in fighting cancer!! My situation will never be cured, but if I can keep my cancer in remission I give all praise to God and having a positive attitude:)
      I only hope all of us can enjoy each day and your cancer can be eliminated or at least be managed so that your lives continue to be a positive to others and happy and fulfilling for yourselves:)) I hope everyone has a good weekend!!

      almost 7 years ago

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