• Going bald in public...

    Asked by Lirasgirl33 on Sunday, January 6, 2013

    Going bald in public...

    I still don't feel comfortable being bald in public. I know I should be ok with it, but I'm not. Honestly I'm only comfortable with my family or close friends. There have been times when I really needed to take off my hat or wig when I was out in public. It got too hot but I decided to just stay hot and uncomfortable. I've asked myself why, and I guess it's because I just don't want to deal with the "looks" or the "questions" from people. I prefer to be invisible, to look like everyone else and go unnoticed. Is this bad? Has anyone else gone through this? At home I'm always me bald self. I just can't get myself to do it in public. One time I ran out of the house to meet my mom out on the street. I completely forgot to put on a hat and as soon as I realized it, I ran right back in. Silly huh? None of our neighbors are aware of my diagnosis and I kind of want to keep it that way. I guess I just don't want them feeling sorry for me. I really wish I could just get over it. Any advice?

    11 Answers from the Community

    11 answers
    • gwendolyn's Avatar

      I initially lost my hair in summer and I went bald constantly at home. Later, I expanded out to doing things in the yard within view of my neighbors (who were aware of my situation and very supportive.)

      Twice I went bald in public and I was quite surprised to find everyone conspicuously staring at me and doing double-takes! It was really weird. I was not prepared for this reaction from others. I wonder if they were trying to decide if I was a cancer patient or a radical feminist with edgy style?!?

      Ironically, I rarely go without my wig now because I am very self-conscious about my missing eyebrows and eyelashes. I pull the wig down low in the front so the bangs help conceal my naked face.

      almost 4 years ago
    • cris' Avatar

      I only go bald with family & friends, only one neighbor knows about my diagnosis, I wear hats where ever I go, can't go bald in public, they give me weird stares as it is. Some people ask and wish me luck others just stare. I just want my hair back chemo ends Feb 18th so I am guessing hair will be short sometime in the summer. Good luck to you...

      almost 4 years ago
    • Carol-Charlie's Avatar

      Hey Lirasgirl... I totally undestand! I where my wig all day long. It goes on before my glasses and comes off and tossed aside as I head to bed (no pun meant there). The only one I'm comfortable being me with is my husband. Having said that, let me explain... I had Taxol and Cysplatin (sp?) for almost two years. I've had a ton of PET Scans. I have been cancer free for 7 years in a few weeks!... I have been bald almost that6 entire time. Not totally.... but my hair is short - white - and very very sparse!... Prior to chemo... thick and wonderful and with Clairol's help... blonde. Paula Young wigs are comfortable and they have some that are very cool and lets air in and out to keep me cool. This was my preamble.... NEVER, sorry didn't mean to yell, never be ashamed of having cancer. Cancer happens. I always felt it people knew I could ask them to pray for me. I told the world and asked the world to pray for me. I can't be positive, but many of them must have. I told God that I was terrified of this Ovarian Cancer..... I asked Him to lead me to where he wanted me to be. He has led me here. AND removed my fear immediately! If doing this over again, I would most likly do the same thing with my hair... as in clip it off when it started to fall. wear wigs everywhere! You are young and you're beautiful.... I'm going to htt 70 in a few months. But I want to look as normal as possible4. My eyebrows... well there are some hairs where they used to be and I've been off chemo for five years... I finally found WUNDERBROW2 - look it up on line... It really works! and looks so natural... and does last.

      almost 4 years ago
    • Nancebeth's Avatar

      I never went totally bald but my hair came out in clumps so I shaved it. It was crew cut length but with some bald patches. Living in Florida and enduring chemo throughout the summer, I never wore my wigs because it was soooooo hot. I wore a hat outside so my head wouldn't burn. I had some people stare but it didn't bother me. I was kind used to it because people sometimes stared at me before because of my large visible tatoos. A few people asked me if I had cancer and I told them I did. Mostly I didn't notice anyone looking at me.

      almost 4 years ago
    • SueRae1's Avatar

      Each of us is different. When i was first told about losing my hair, I freaked. I did some research on wigs, I have several friends who wear them for religious reasons, so I figured they would know what's what. Each of them told me that wigs were very uncomfortable, and on a bald head even worse. I decided to wear hats and scarves. I buzzed my hair after my 2nd treatment to get an idea what I would look like with no hair. That was a really turning point for me. I decided I like it, and that hair was not really an issue for me. I wore hats to protect my head from the sun, cold, etc. but was bald inside. For me it was part of accepting who I was, and letting the world know that battling cancer is not shameful.

      almost 4 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      Since I have kind of an inside knowledge of it, when I see a lady who is bald, I will approach her and tell her I'm a 24 yrs survivor, and let her respond, then I will wish her luck, if she wants to talk, I'm there as long as she wants, If I get the feeling she doesn't want to, I wish the best and move on.

      almost 4 years ago
    • nobrand's Avatar

      As a guy, it's so easy to just go bald. Though, once my eyebrows started going, I noticed that people did double-takes and sometimes asked questions. I'd do what's comfortable for you, and if that is covering your noggin in public, then do it-- if your head is overheating, try some nice, cool wraps or light hats. There is something liberating about going out bald though.. it's refreshing :)

      almost 4 years ago
    • Joachima's Avatar

      I never went out in public without my wig, and usually kept my head covered with a scarf at home. I was proud of my hair when it first started coming in, and let go of the covering at home, but did not feel comfortable with going out in public without my wig until I was 7 months out of chemo and my hair was about 2 1/2 " long. For me, I didn't feel comfortable with being bald or even with hair so short - so it was really about my feelings of losing my mid-back length, thick & curly locks. It is now 3 1/2 - 4" long - it's coming but I still don't look like "myself " yet when I look in the mirror. I also never wanted other people to see me bald because I felt that I was somehow advertising the fact that I had cancer. I believe that there are no right or wrong or bad feelings about how we feel about going out in public - it is a personal journey and you need to deal with it in your own unique way - that you feel most comfortable with. So, I'm a short-haired chick, but I find solace in believing that this is only temporary .... and I'm kind of proud of my thick & curly locks.

      almost 4 years ago
    • karen1956's Avatar

      Do whatever makes you comfortable...I hated my wig, so tended to wear ball cap type hats and people could tell I was bald....once I was done chemo, I quit covering my head.....I had peach fuz on top of my head when the new school year started....BUT...do what makes you feel good...

      almost 4 years ago
    • Lirasgirl33's Avatar

      Thank you all for your responses. I guess for now I will continue to wear my beanies and hats. The wigs are nice every once in a while but it's just so hard for me to get used to hair that is not my own. For some reason it just feels like it goes all over the place. I can't control it and feel like bad hair day. LOL Maybe I'll go bald during Relay For Life. I'm thinking doing it in a cancer related setting might be easier. Being bald and not worry about wigs, hats, wraps, etc is just so much easier and comfortable. I will get over this fear. :) Thanks again! XXXXX's (X for hugs, I'm not cussing you all out. LOL)

      almost 4 years ago
    • Mel's Avatar

      I am so that way. I have hated losing my hair from the start!!.. It's slowly now growing back but I still wear my bandana and ball cap. I've never let my boyfriend see me I sleep with my bandana on. I just don't like the way I look. I think that's terrible but it's the way I am. :(

      almost 4 years ago

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