• Going through chemotherapy with a little one?

    Asked by ajomara on Thursday, September 12, 2013

    Going through chemotherapy with a little one?

    I am moving across the country at the end of the month from Georgia to Ohio to stay with my mom and near family while I receive chemotherapy and radiation treatments over the next 6+ months. The reason for the move is I have an almost 8 month old daughter and no support network or extra cash for childcare to care for her while I receive treatment. It's breaking my heart to leave my husband alone in Georgia, but I feel like it's better to have help if I need it than try to take care of her AND me alone till he gets home from work. That aside, I know I will still have a good part of the day when it's just me and her till someone gets home from work. I guess I'm looking for advice or someone to commiserate with. Thanks!

    8 Answers from the Community

    8 answers
    • peachpoppy's Avatar
      peachpoppy (Best Answer!)

      Decisions like this are not easy, but you sound like you have made a good choice to get family help. Even if you feel pretty good during treatment it will be good to have your mother to help out so that you don't feel guilty resting. And don't!

      I have 2 daughters, 5 & 7 years old, and when I accepted help and sent them to spend the night at grandma's during my chemo crashes I was actually able to rest and take care of myself. If the kids were home, I would have inevitably been taking care of them. It's what mom's do. But you really need to listen to your body.

      Also, please remember that everyone wants to help you. And everyone can help in different ways. Your mother/family can help with your daughter/you, your husband can help by working and keeping your finances/home in order, etc. It will be hard for him to be away from both of you, but this might be the best way for him to help right now. And I agree with the others comments about husbands being overloaded between work and home tasks, not to mention a new baby. Even though they are well intended, it is just a lot of work and stress for anyone. It has happened (and still happens) to me and my husband all the time. So please don't feel guilty about spreading out the help a little. A positive that could come out of this: grandma/granddaughter bonding, which may not have happened if you weren't in this situation. Always look for those positives.

      Good luck to you. Your daughter looks adorable!

      about 6 years ago
    • Kathy1's Avatar
      Kathy1

      Boy you are making one difficult decision after another. I cannot stress how important it is that you take care of yourself first. You have a not so easy six months ahead of you. You will be able to respond to your treatments when you are not stressed trying to meet the demands of an 8 month old. There are excellent treatment centers in OH!! Just hate the snow but your daughter will love it!!

      about 6 years ago
    • carolk2222's Avatar
      carolk2222

      I didn't have chemo but I went through radiation treatment 31 yrs ago when my daughter was 8 months old. It was rough I will admit because I didn't feel good and wanted to just rest and sleep.. There were people from church who watched her when I drove to have my treatments but other than that it was pretty much me caring for her. I live 100 miles from my family and my husband was and still is a busy dairy farmer. I could hardly wait for her to take her naps so I could rest. I was thankful I didn't have any other children at the time and that she was too young to remember anything. I kind of felt guilty for wishing my time away so I could rest and sleep but when you don't feel good that is what you do. That was about a 2 month period of treatment at the time. I was 24 yrs old then. I felt like I kind of missed out of enjoying her during that time because of not feeling good but what else could I have done. As I said she doesn't remember and her needs were taken care of. She is now a beautiful 31 yr old mother of my 2 precious grand babies. I was blessed to have 2 more daughters after going through all of that. It sounds like you are making a good decision. You should be able to skype and talk to your husband. Yes it will be hard but you are young and you can do it for that short time. You will have more of a network of support this way. God Bless. Carol

      about 6 years ago

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