• Great article on how to talk about Cancer-send to friends and family

    Asked by CAS1 on Sunday, May 26, 2013

    Great article on how to talk about Cancer-send to friends and family

    http://www.chicagonow.com/cancer-is-not-a-gift/2013/05/cancer-etiquette/

    I so agreed with this article. I hope it helps someone.

    8 Answers from the Community

    8 answers
    • hogfan03's Avatar
      hogfan03

      Very nice!! Everyone I told must have read this article because that was the way family, friends and co-workers were with me:)

      over 4 years ago
    • gwendolyn's Avatar
      gwendolyn

      Author makes several excellent points! Thanks for posting.

      over 4 years ago
    • SueRae1's Avatar
      SueRae1

      Thanks for sharing.

      over 4 years ago
    • LauraJo's Avatar
      LauraJo

      Very nice article! My issue, when I was in treatment, and still even today, was when people you haven't seen for a while run into you and ask "How ARE you?", with that little emphasis. I live in a very small community, and lots of people know your business, so I was never quite sure if that was just a polite "haven't seen you in a while" or "i heard you have CANCER, but don't know how to bring the subject up". Usually, I just say "I'm fine, thanks for asking, how are you?" and then I wonder if they think I don't want to talk about the cancer cause it's bad (which it isn't) , or what. I would just say I was overthinking this, but someone saw my husband later & asked him & said that they were worried about me cause I didn't want to discuss it.....and this was 3 months after treatment was complete. I've often thought I should get "Survivor" tattooed on my forehead & that would save a lot of discussion. :)

      over 4 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      LauraJo , I am so with you..We live in a small community too and the gossip that goes on is so overwhelming. People have not been taught that its :RUDE" to

      over 4 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      Sorry cut myself off there..Its "Rude" to ask others about their private business. Most people have poor manners. They were not taught that this intrusion is in poor taste.

      I teach my children that when confronted by "rude" personal questions from others to simply say.. I am sorry but that is private and I don't wish to discuss it.

      We seem to have developed a society that demands full disclosure of everyones' business and I just won't go there. As I wont go to the gossip camp either. I am going to post a message that I love. I hope you like it.

      over 4 years ago
    • LauraJo's Avatar
      LauraJo

      CAS1, I SO know what YOU mean. The very first week I was on the prayer list at church, I walked into the lounge on Sunday, and someone YELLED at me across the room "SO, what's wrong with you?" I was so stunned that I stood there with my mouth hanging open...talk about insensitive! And when she realized I was incapable of an answer, she finally said "Oh, I guess it's PERSONAL!" I mean HONESTLY! At this point, I don't have a problem talking about my cancer, but equally, I don't think I need to discuss it with everyone I see, and its not my front-line topic of conversation. I appreciate that rumors spread, and sometimes with the best of intention (like the girls at my old office passed the word to each other), but I wish people could just be upfront, like "I'm so sorry, did I hear you were having some health issues recently?" At which point I could then be as graphic as I wish :) or not.

      over 4 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      Laura Jo, you hit it on the head. I can actually picture this person in your church doing this. During my treatment I am in bed sick and who comes over but our deaconess?? No call no nothing..just stops over..then other people from church just start stopping buy. We had to keep our gate closed for the rest of the time during my treatment. Unreal.

      We are private people. its that simple.. we are private people and we have every right to live in peace and privacy.

      The challenge I have is wanting to put a face to lung cancer of a healthy person like myself getting it because there are so few funds and such a stigma attached to it. So now I am starting to speak about it more often. But I am still very careful what I say.

      Only those with cancer can understand.

      over 4 years ago

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