• Has anyone lost the support of some of your family/friends after a long road with cancer?

    Asked by UpandUp on Sunday, December 8, 2019

    Has anyone lost the support of some of your family/friends after a long road with cancer?

    After dealing with cancer for years now and admittedly, dragging some of my family along the road with me, I am seeing that some of them are losing their "patience" with me and my needs or in other words, me and my cancer. At a recent family get together I overheard a couple of family talking about how they thought I was always making everything about me and that I was needy and one said I was making other's lives miserable. None of this was said to me, just behind my back. I'm sorry that I need help from time to time, I'm sorry if I'm a burden, but I didn't ask for this. Have any of you ever faced what seems like a revolt from some of your family? I also hear that "it's just skin cancer and I should get over it and on with life". I'm just not sure how to go forward now.

    4 Answers from the Community

    4 answers
    • mbeshey's Avatar
      mbeshey

      Oh yes I have had this happen and it's still happening. It makes for family gatherings very uneasy too as you know the conversation will come up like, "So you're better now right?" "You should be able to go to work again soon right?" Yes, it's been over 5 yrs since my surgery and recovery but I still am dealing from the ramifications of that surgery internally. Every day is a struggle as if I will have a good pain free day or not. I recently went through a battery of tests as there was thought that my melanoma had reappeared elsewhere. So far so good but I have to stay on top of it 24/7. Basically I have family members who in a not so subtle way, "I deal w/ pain everyday, you'll just need to suck it up buttercup. If I can do it, you can." Not true and don't diminish my cancer pain on your level to make you feel comfortable, on my level it hurts and so do your comments. It's ok to say so too.

      7 months ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar
      BuckeyeShelby

      My former BFF flat out told me she was done w/me. We'd been friends for over 30 years, since junior high. Funny thing is, part of the reason she was done w/me is that she found God. Even as a non-Christian, that sounds kinda hypocrital to me.

      7 months ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      XXXXing disgusting that someone does this when a loved one is in need.

      7 months ago

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