• Has cancer changed your personality?

    Asked by CancerChicky on Monday, August 5, 2019

    Has cancer changed your personality?

    I understand we are all edgy or mad that we have to deal with this, and we might even be depressed. But my husband says that he thinks I've changed completely. I don't see it, but maybe I have. How have you changed, if at all?

    8 Answers from the Community

    8 answers
    • Bengal's Avatar

      I'm definitely more"don't sweat the small stuff. ". I think I'm more empathetic towards others. I stand up for myself more and I say "thank you" a lot more. But....as far as my basic personality changed: I don't think so.

      11 months ago
    • CancerChicky's Avatar

      Thanks Bengal, I don't think I've changed, but my husband keeps saying I'm different. Well, XXX yes I'm different! I could die from this. I have a different outlook on life and like you said I don't sweat the small stuff but I believe that everyone in the family needs to be all in on family matters, appreciate that we are all here together, we haven't lost anyone, and we need to enjoy life. I would say my outlook on life has changed but I'm still the same person.

      11 months ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar

      If anything, my faith grew 100X stronger. I think I have changed for the better - I have learned to appreciate friends and time much more than I ever did before. I notice what's going on around me, the good that is in the world, the beauty of nature. I appreciate each and every day that I wake up and try to remain cognizant of how fleeting life really is ... and how lucky I am to be alive today.

      Like both of you have found, I am far more patient - with others and with myself. When you add in losing my son - the "small stuff" REALLY doesn't matter now. Even if I start out fretting over something, it doesn't take me long to realize, it is just no big deal in the grand scheme of things.

      I am joyful, thankful, appreciative. And, if tomorrow I die, I have had a wonderful life.

      11 months ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      I wouldn't say my personality changed. But I do have a deeper appreciation for family and friends. Enjoying times together and not putting up with certain things like I used to.

      11 months ago
    • UpandUp's Avatar

      Absolutely, I'm a basket case! Anxiety, worry, and panic attacks all the time now worrying about a recurrence and the thought that it would be worse the next time. I was told that although I'm done with treatments that I need to get checked regularly and that I could easily have metastatic melanoma the next time before I find it or it gets found. I'm nothing like I used to be.

      11 months ago
    • aeasghMX's Avatar

      I can say that I have a newfound appreciation for my family also. Getting up close and personal with cancer and possible death makes you stop and take a look at your life and how you would like to live it. Eliminating what's not important and concentrating on the important things.

      11 months ago
    • Carool's Avatar

      I think cancer didn’t change my core personality. However, reaching early old age (71) is what has made me somewhat less anxious about getting another primary cancer or a recurrence of my previous cancer. Somewhat less anxious, but still anxious. Other bad life events (being laid off, very harshly, from a part-time job of 17 years; the state of our country now, etc.) have aggravated my tendency to react angrily when upset. Still, I see the good in people and am eager to show kindness to those around me, even strangers - and since I live in NYC, I’m always around lots of strangers.

      11 months ago
    • andreacha's Avatar

      I get angry about my situation in general. And to be perfectly honest, I have no right to feel this way after listening to others that have been through so much more than me. I am no longer independent. I no longer have a car and even if someone had given me one I wouldn't have the money to insure it. But being able to go wherever when I wanted was so valuable to me. Now I depend upon a Senior shuttle from Monday - Friday. They have taken a contract in a neighboring County so that drastically cuts back on hours for us to take care of our business. My local doctors' appointments have to be between 9:45 and 10:15. You try telling that to the person booking your appointment and see how it goes. I have to be done by11 because that's the time they take the seniors home after lunch at the senior center. Nowadays it takes you an hour and a half to get out of the doctor's office. That is totally unrealistic. If I go to Walmart I'm told: "I'll be back in 45 minutes to pick you up". Heck, it can take 20 just to find an electric cart! I never get to complete my shopping list
      I've gotten to the point that I can't keep up with my housekeeping in my home. I get so upset with myself because I can't do it. I am so tired all the time. I'd be ashamed to have an old friend come and visit. They know how fastidious I was. And it's not just the Cancer. It's a mix of other health problems. It takes me an hour to change my bed! I could never be a hotel maid and clean 16 rooms in a shift which is standard. I've got 2 bulging discs in my lower back and have had 2 spine fractures already so I try not to rush, and again, get angry at myself.
      My neighbor drives me to my out of town doctor's visits. He has a heart of gold but can be quite crude. He got thrown out of one of the offices already because of some language he used when talking to another person in the waiting room. He smokes (not with me in the car because I'm on oxygen) but I can still smell it on his clothes and the car itself. I had one doctor ask me if I was smoking again and had to explain about my driver. Again, this all boils down to lack of independence. Thankfully, I don't take my anger out on others. Everyone thinks I'm such a sweet old lady! If they only knew.

      11 months ago

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