• Have you lost a loved one to cancer and just couldn't wrap your head around it that it's really real?

    Asked by GregP_WN on Monday, May 6, 2019

    Have you lost a loved one to cancer and just couldn't wrap your head around it that it's really real?

    After attending our cousin's funeral on Friday, it still doesn't seem right. Looking at the pictures in the slide show I could see her walking up and hugging me with that big smile. Then I would look at the casket and get a dose of reality. Cancer continues to suck, I wish any of you that have had to go through this, and those that will go through it peace and healing, I know it's going to take a while on this one. Here is an article I wrote about her short bout with the animal that took her. Follow this link>> http://bit.ly/2J3Hiq4

    10 Answers from the Community

    10 answers
    • VickieK811's Avatar
      VickieK811

      I haven’t been on in a long time for this exact reason. The survivor guilt is too overwhelming! My mom survived for 36 years from ovarian cancer to help me through my breast cancer. She was my hero, best friend, and life is so unfair! She passed away this past July 1st from pancreatic cancer. She went to the ER doctor several times, they kept sending her home. One last visit, I told the doctor she’s not leaving until we have more answers than she has anxiety and a hiatal hernia because within days she was given the news she was dying and only had 2-3 months to live. She only lived another 6 weeks and they were the most painful and excruciating moments of her life. If I could have taken her place, I would have. To this day, I can’t believe she’s gone, that cancer took my mom, my best friend, my hero. Shortly after she passed away, 3 months later, my dad passed away. He was unable to understand her diagnosis and didn’t believe she couldn’t be saved. He wanted to be with her and got his wish. Through his last few months of trying to deal with my mom’s diagnosis and learn from me about how to change feeding tubes, put meds into her feeding tubes, he saw me as his adversary. The emotional and verbal abuse my mom and I took over the past few months I know wasn’t “him but nonetheless, I am now left with no closure for my dad and I still can’t believe my mom is gone. I hate cancer so much!!

      13 days ago
    • Paperpusher's Avatar
      Paperpusher

      @ VickieK811 I don't know what to say but that I'm so sorry this happened to you.

      13 days ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      @VickieK811, I'm so sorry for your losses ...and for the lack of closure with your dad. That's hard. And, losing them so close together is really hard, too.

      13 days ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      I think losing a loved one for any reason, whether cancer or heart disease or a wreck or any other reason, is extremely difficult. I think losing them suddenly makes it even more difficult to wrap your mind around them being gone than watching them die from illness ... or, having been through losing loved ones out of the blue or watching them die from cancer ... that's been my personal experience.

      I'm still struggling to believe my best friend from grade school is no longer here on earth. She was here one moment and gone the next ... no time to say goodbye or I love you and will miss you. She was larger than life her entire life ... and for that life to be snuffed out in a moment, when she was all alone (her husband was at work since no one knew she was even sick), is hard for those of us who love her to wrap our minds around.

      Death of our loved ones, no matter the cause, is really difficult. The result is that those of us still here are left trying to pick up the pieces of life and carry on with a part of our heart missing.

      13 days ago
    • WNMyeloma's Avatar
      WNMyeloma

      Losing a loved one or a dear friend is always tough. Some of us take it harder than others, and for sure some people leave a larger imprint on us than others do and will leave us grieving a little harder for them. We hope you find peace with her death.

      13 days ago
    • cheryncp's Avatar
      cheryncp

      Yes. My best friend. It has been over 5 years now but I still miss her terribly. 43 years of age with 2 young teens is much too young to be taken. I HATE cancer

      13 days ago
    • SandiA's Avatar
      SandiA

      I am so sorry Greg! I know how you feel. I lost my brother to cancer about 2 1/2 years and ago and it still doesn’t seem real. It was so hard because he was finishing up his last month of treatment then they felt he would be in remission. This disease really stinks.

      13 days ago
    • Teachertina's Avatar
      Teachertina

      My dad died when I was 15. I thought the world would end! My world was in tatters. My mom became an alcoholic after that and had breast cancer but survived it, lived 30 more miserable years and died of lung cancer. It was so hard to try to grow up and be normal and try to be a good daughter to her. I’m 65 now and have learned so much about life that I didn’t want to learn, but I’m stronger now for it as I battle my own cancer, 3 tumors of RCC in the past 13 years. I will never get over it, I’ve just learned to get on with it! Live your best life every day!

      13 days ago
    • beachbum5817's Avatar
      beachbum5817

      Unfortunately, yes. My husband was diagnosed in March 2018 and passed away on July 19. 2018 from pancreatic cancer. I knew the odds were not in our favor, but I didn't expect him to be gone that quickly. It is surreal.

      12 days ago
    • cllinda's Avatar
      cllinda

      I lost my best friend in November. Carole was one of the nicest people I ever met. We met at the YMCA in 2007. Became friends and were there for each other. When I got my diagnosis, it prompted her to go get a mammogram after years of not getting one. Needless to say, we both went through breast cancer together. We would call or text each other on bad days and we lifted each other when we needed it.
      Life is different without her. And certain things will come up to remind me of her. She made a mean egg salad sandwich. And we were pool buddies. So every time I get in the pool, I miss her.
      Her cancer came back in June and she said no to more treatments. I don't blame her on this way of thinking. Going through chemo, radiation and surgeries is not easy. She chose to go out with dignity. I miss her every day.
      And it is hard to wrap my head around this, still, six months later.

      12 days ago

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