I'm Aliza, a BC patient and also a retired Medical Librarian. I offer advice to folks on this site and elsewhere (usually non medical) and referrals to doctors, hospitals/institutions. agencies, etc. and research when required or requested.
I've located a site for a medical school in your neck of the woods that's likely to have female ob/gyn oncologists as they seem to have a women's health center.
Their site is http colon fwd slash, fwd slash medschool dot creighton dot.edu forward slash ndex dot php. Now if you find this too confusing to follow, and I understand if you do, please email me (where it says exchange email, remind me of the situation you have, copy the weird URL I sent you and then I can send it to you via regular email). This site deletes normal URL's so that's how I have to do this to see that you get it.
I hope that's helpful. I'm sure that a female ob/gyn oncologist will be more sensitive to our pain issues than perhaps the two men you saw.
My aunt had vulvulat cancer so I understand what you are going through. I wish you a easy journey!