• Having trouble getting in the "spirit"

    Asked by Sunnysideup on Monday, December 23, 2013

    Having trouble getting in the "spirit"

    is anyone else having trouble getting in the christmas spirit this year? My family tries to cheer me up telling me how lucky I am to be fighting this and that I'm still here to enjoy it, but I look at it like it sucks to have to be fighting this and going through this while everyone else is so freaking happy! Just mad!

    13 Answers from the Community

    13 answers
    • lilymadeline's Avatar
      lilymadeline

      I know it sucks sometimes to be around a bunch of crazy happy people! ;-) It is like they just don't get it.....but having said that, I have good days and bad days facing the holidays because I have found myself to be very moody during this time. And this is my third holiday season going through cancer treatments. I am extremely and sincerely grateful to be alive, and feel blessed for that. But I am also am overwhelmed with loss sometimes, things change after cancer and we can't go back.......Happier Holidays! ;-)

      about 6 years ago
    • Carol-Charlie's Avatar
      Carol-Charlie

      Suck it up SunnysideUP !!!!! I remember seven years ago just beginning my second year of chemo.... (Yes that's right)...Laying on the sofa and giving my husband directions on how to trim the tree. Where to put this and that.... I was so tired I couldn't have achieved MAD if I'd tried.... The next year, I was able to fluff the branches, and put hooks on the bulbs... then I put a few other things out.... I found long ago (I'm 70 so I really mean long...ago that IF I put a smile on my face and decide to fake my fun, It would suddenly dawn on me THAT I REALLY WAS HAVING FUN!!!!!! I ALSO KNOW THAT MANY PEOPLE WITHOUT CANCER ARE UNHAPPY AND DOWN DURING HOLIDAYS. So Sunny.... put a smile on your lovely face and fake it till you start laughing... I bet you will.

      about 6 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      I was diagnosed in Oct. my last time 5 years ago. I was mad too, sitting around in a mall one day waiting for my Wife and her Sister as they were shopping,, I was sitting on one of the "old fart's benches" and watching everyone all happy and such. I was boiling! I couldn't see my doctor for the first apt until Dec. 16th or so, and just had to stew in it. After I did get to see my doctor and he laid out the plan, I felt better and was able to move on. But I understand, it gives us a few feelings that are hard to control.

      about 6 years ago
    • pillowpatch's Avatar
      pillowpatch

      I am truly sorry you are going through this. Life is difficult to say the least. My husband first troubles began with heart surgery at 45. Next came caroid surgery then gall bladder surgery. But the worst was when he had an aneuryism repaired in his stomach wound up on a respirator for 14 days. Now he has lymphoma. It isn't life that sucks it's what can happen to us while we are trying to live our life. If you chose to be angry you will be angry but if you choose to be open and loving this is what you will be. Where we focus our thoughts this is where they will be. May the peace of our loving Father be with you and may His healing hands rest upon you. May you know how much you are loved. All of heaven celebrated the day you were born!

      about 6 years ago
    • midgieb's Avatar
      midgieb

      This is also my third holiday season going through chemo and I continue to be in the spirit, I am so happy I am here another Christmas to be my family & friends. The Dr's thought I wouldn't even make it this long but I have proved them wrong. Try to save you energy for good times don't waste you energy on being mad life is too short. I know it is difficult at times but hang in there and enjoy the holidays.

      about 6 years ago
    • derbygirl's Avatar
      derbygirl

      It's been 5 years since my diagnosis. At Christmas, I was always the one going overboard with decorations, cookies, and the holiday meal. I couldn't imagine Christmas without lights and trees all over my home. When my family stepped in to take over putting up my decorations and trees, it showed me the true spirit of the holiday. It's about who is with you and the love they bring to your life, not just at the holidays, but all year long. You have this Christmas with your family and that in itself should make you happy because there are so many others who aren't able to have times like this. Don't sit and feel sorry for yourself because you have nothing to feel sorry for. You have been given a very special gift, the gift of life, so live it and enjoy this time with all those dear to you. Take care and I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

      about 6 years ago
    • Powhatantea's Avatar
      Powhatantea

      Hang in there! So many emotions this time of year. I agree that happiness is a choice and sometimes I fake it. Sending you hugs and wishes for joy and peace!

      about 6 years ago
    • MMarie's Avatar
      MMarie

      Mad is okay. I struggled last year a lot. I had low blood counts, bone pain and bronchitis. Took my tree down BEFORE Christmas. On Christmas day, I thought, "I just want a little bit of Christmas spirit". I got myself nice and quiet and found a glimpse. It wasn't big, but I was grateful to have found the glimpse. May you find find what you are looking for. Merry Christmas.

      about 6 years ago
    • Lynne-I-Am's Avatar
      Lynne-I-Am

      What a difference a year makes. Last Christmas was much as usual,surrounded by loved ones sharing the joy and bright lights. This Christmas I looked in the mirror at a bald headed lady with a long scar down the center of her body and two ports pressing against her skin. Tears were there and a moment of sorrow for what was. Then I got dressed, opened the bedroom door and entered my daughters' living room.. I was surrounded by loved ones , loved the bright lights on the tree and felt joy when my two year old granddaughter gave me a goodnight kiss,she doesn't give them often. Did have some trouble getting into the Christmas spirit but at least this year I found it.

      about 6 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Christmas has never been my favorite holiday. I feel much greater joy at Easter. That is why cancer chooses to take me out at Easter. This year I was in the Hospital the entire Easter season, I was had the follow up Ct scan on Good Friday, My son carried me into Easter Sunday services My first cancer arrived in 2010 two weeks before Easter it was then my daughter carried me into Easter Service. But I do remember that Easter 2011 was the Best ever Easter am looking forward to a wonderful 2014 Easter By the way I make it through the Holidays by starting my Easter count down

      about 6 years ago
    • Leo4life's Avatar
      Leo4life

      I am feeling just like you and the closer it gets to Xmas I feel worse. I just want to crawl in bed till its over. Let me be the first to say that you are entitled to feel mad (as do I) just make sure you dont dump on any one else. I was just in bed sick for 3 days while my family let me ALONE. They hate my attitude but they haven't helped me. I forced myself to work today just so I can at least get some water. They avoid me cuz I'm so down but they can't say I'm in their way while they have fun having a jolly ole time. Just keep thinking: "This too shall pass".

      about 6 years ago
    • melanomamama's Avatar
      melanomamama

      Dear Sunnysideup,
      It's okay to have your sunny side down at times. We feel what we feel, and I'm with you. I just changed the lyrics of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," to "Have Yourself a Melancholy Christmas." My dear, 97 year old Auntie Bea died in her sleep last night. She was the last of that great generation of loving parents. Christmases at her farmhouse were so bright when we were children. Not only did we have our spunky cousins to play with, but there was a horse to ride, sheep for sticking tiny hands into warm wool, chickens for reaching under soft feathers to find warm eggs, and a noisy, nasty goose to boss us around. Our parents were so indulgent and loving, in spite of having a horde of rambunctious kids underfoot, that childhood Christmases fulfilled the promise of love and life and laughter. When we don't have that anymore, it is sad, and it is okay to grieve that loss. I'm sorry that your family is trying to direct your feelings instead of honoring your sadness. We want to be heard when we feel bad, and why shouldn't we sometimes feel bad? We suffer so many gradual losses, even when we have survived to this point. Just because we're still alive doesn't mean we can always celebrate each moment. When we struggle with treatments and symptoms and fear of what comes next, those "civilians" just don't get it. I feel for you. Have whatever kind of Christmas you can manage.
      Constance Emerson Crooker

      about 6 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Hey Sunnysideup if it is any help I will say that yesterday on my way home from church, I cried all the way home. I barely got myself together to go to my brother's house. I have been taught all my life that real women don't cry.

      about 6 years ago

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