• Help, my fiance was just diagnosed with stage iv cancer. His melanoma spread to his, lungs, testicle, kidney, liver, spleen and adrenal

    Asked by qtkitycat on Tuesday, January 22, 2013

    Help, my fiance was just diagnosed with stage iv cancer. His melanoma spread to his, lungs, testicle, kidney, liver, spleen and adrenal

    I need all the help we can get. Scared and don't know what to do.

    9 Answers from the Community

    9 answers
    • Peroll's Avatar

      Hi and welcome to WhatNext, sorry it has to be under such circumstances. First thing is to not panic as even stage IV cancer is not a death scentance. Based on all of the information on your page Iassume that the places the cancer has spread to were identified by a CT or PET scan. A CT scan only sees differences in tissue density and a PET scan see metabolic activity so for now what you have are suspecious spots that look the same as cancer does. Only a biopsy can confirm if it is really cancer. Half the population have spots in the lugns and liver that look like cancer but most don't have cancer.

      Even if it is all cancer there have been a lot of advances in research and treatments in the past few years. Ipersonally have had two surgical procedures and three drugs that were not available 8 1/2 years ago when I was first diagnosed. So, while you two have a fight on your hands it can be won.

      Right now you and I assume he are scared which is understandable and normal. You need to turn the fear into a determination to fight and win. If someone cites survival statstics or survival time to you remember that they are only averages and are based on data that is at least five years old. I have personally hit the 5% side of the odds 5 times in a row so beating the odds can and does happen.

      There are alot of people here that can and will answ\er any question yuo have and will offer up any help they can. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

      over 5 years ago
    • carm's Avatar

      Qtkitycat, Hello I am an oncology nurse and Peroll is correct, there are many advances in therapies and many of those spots can be diminished with a good chemo. He has youth on his side and can tolerate more than those twice his age. We are here to support you and if I can be of any service please do not hesitate to reach out. My best to both of you, Carm.

      over 5 years ago
    • Harry's Avatar

      Fear and confusion are normal at this stage. A lot of this will resolve as you learn more and as you progress into treatment. Have you spoken to an oncologist? What treatments are recommended?

      over 5 years ago
    • SueRae1's Avatar

      Hugs and prayers to you both. Now take a deep breath. Yes I know easier said then done. As others have pointed out, cancer treatment has progressed a lot in the last decade, and stage IV cancer is not an automatic death sentence. If you have not done so already, set up an appointment and see an oncologist, and start the process of putting together a treatment plan. Come prepared with a notebook and questions. Get contact info (I contact one of my Oncologist via e-mail the other I have both the e-mail and direct line to the oncology nurse practitioner on his team ) so you can ask follow questions, and you will have them, the first visit is very informative and overwhelming. Get a 2nd opinion if it will make you feel more comfortable. Contact friends and family and set up a support network for both of you. Once you have a plan in hand things will start falling in place. Remember your fiancee is a unique individual and not a statistic,

      over 5 years ago
    • TinaJacques' Avatar

      I beat stage IV cancer and I am now in remission. I am not sure what your fiances oncologist is saying but even if, for example (and I don't know if this is the case or not) he said that your fiance could have an extended period of remission but not a cure, do not dispair!!! New cancer treatmenrs are rolling out so quickly now that they could just keep putting him into an extended period of remission until the find the right combination to knock that sucker (cancer) out for good! People are right when they say that cancer of any stage is no longer an automatic death sentence. Good vibes and postitive thoughts coming your way!!! Keeping a positive attitude will be the most important thing that you can do!

      over 5 years ago
    • createdone's Avatar

      I am in your position as well. Stage IV melanoma after removing a clarks III spot on his back. My finance is sooo strong. He hasn't even cried in front of me. The best thing you and I can do-is stay strong and be there for support.
      We find out in a couple of days what mutation he has and then what treatment is the best...I think this road is going to be a long one filled with doc visits and tests and I have only been apart of this journey for less than a month. I feel positive because the alternative is not worth the time.
      Let me know if you wanna share emails or just share through this site what each other journey's are. Kinda both in the same boat...

      over 5 years ago
    • Dick_K's Avatar

      As others have pointed out, a lot of progress has been made in the last couple of years in cancer treatment and melanoma is no exception. In 2011 Yervoy, an immunotherapy and Zelboraf, a targeted therapy both received FDA approval and are helping many stage IV melanoma patients. In addition, there are currently a number of promising and exciting clinical trials.

      I am a stage IV melanoma patient and it is almost 3 ½ years since my diagnosis. I just had a follow-up with my doctor yesterday and I’m still doing fine and all set for my next check-up in six weeks.

      It’s hard to tell from your profile but if you are not yet so doing, I would encourage you to see a melanoma specialist. Best of luck.

      over 5 years ago
    • Susan_Steel's Avatar

      You need to discuss whether you are willing to go clinical trial root. Stage 4 patients who want to fight accept that they need access to clinical trials.

      Next identify best melanoma research institutions you are willing to travel to & call their Melanoma trial Research nurse or coordinator to find open trials. Try to do this w 2 or 3 so you have comparison. Set an appt & research top institutions so you have back up.

      Below is a short list of top melanoma institutions:

      Dana Farber, Boston
      Steve Hodi

      Memorial Sloan Kettering, NYC , Chapman, Wolcheck

      National Cancer Inst,
      Bethesda, MD
      Steve Rosenberg

      Tampa, FL
      Jeff Weber

      Patrick Hwu

      Jeff Sosman

      Univ of Pittsburgh Medical Ctr
      John Kirkwood

      The Angeles Clinic
      Omid Hamid

      Toni Ribas

      over 5 years ago
    • StrongSteph's Avatar

      So sorry to meet you under these circumstances as well....I hope your fiance has found a good treatment center. I went to the Angeles Clinic in LA....look it up, they saved my life!!

      over 5 years ago

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