• Hiding under hats

    Asked by BuckeyeShelby on Thursday, April 18, 2013

    Hiding under hats

    Please explain to me why I can be hatless out at a restaurant, but I still feel uncomfortable sitting at my desk at work w/out a hat or scarf? Has anyone else had these feelings? Or am I just weird? (Ok, I really am weird, but that's beside the point! LOL)

    9 Answers from the Community

    9 answers
    • anskysue's Avatar

      Maybe because you know the people at work and not at the restaurant. I am pretty comfortable overall with nothing covering my head but I am "more" comfortable around strangers than co-workers. I am also fine bald around my family. I bet you look great!

      over 3 years ago
    • Mel's Avatar

      You are not weird!! I haven't taken my hat off since all this started. My ball cap makes me feel normal. I did finally wear my wig few weeks ago and do feel comfortable in that but I only wear to church. Only time I go without is in bed and dark!. (my hat that is lol...) :-)

      over 3 years ago
    • Ydnar2xer's Avatar

      I think it's tough to go w/o a hairless covering--but empowering. A while ago I was trying on clothes and got overheated in the tiny dressing room w/my wig on. I decided I'd go without--and walk out of the store to my car that way. It was scary for me, but empowering...but then, if you're keeping track, I'm weird, too!

      over 3 years ago
    • GypsyJule's Avatar

      I'm completely opposite. I don't give it a second thought at work, unless I'm facilitating a workshop full of strangers. When I'm out hatless, I get these sudden attacks (for lack of a better word) of anxiety about my lack of hair. I just bought my first spring/summer hat last night - a nice straw one with a wide brim. Why I think that a big hat will draw less attention than my bald head is something I haven't figured out yet. :) On an upnote, last weekend I was at the mall and a stranger complimented me on my "haircut" - I was able to bite my tongue and just smile and say "Thank you," and not blame it on the chemo.

      over 3 years ago
    • Kathy's Avatar

      I just can't go out without the wig. I did wear a scarf while on a road trip but I think it had to do with knowing I wouldn't see anyone I know. For some reason I just don't want others being aware of my cancer survivorship. I know I should be proud but even the topic of it wimps me out. I'm wierd!!!! - I know!!

      over 3 years ago
    • Ivy's Avatar

      Hi BuckeyeShelby,

      You're not alone, and you have an excellent excuse: cancer makes us all a bit weird! I think part of the answer may be in how comfortable or uncomfortable you may be in drawing attention to, or reminding people of, your cancer and treatment. When people notice they usually make a comment, a kind comment, but a comment none the less. If they know you somewhat or work with you, they may not comment but you feel that they are noticing. Whereas family will have seen your bald head so much that they begin not to notice, this may not be true with others. Besides, you have to go to natural some when you're home no matter the consequence. If you're trying not to let the effects of cancer and treatment fill your every thought and action, you may naturally want to avoid some of this attention. I know that I did not want to draw so much attention to myself while hairless, so I went with hats and wigs when out of the house. Some people are lots more comfortable with more attention, and they are able to use the attention positively to help educate others.

      over 3 years ago
    • reginak's Avatar

      I was absolutely diligent in covering my head after surgery because I wanted my scar to heal as well as possible. After that, I wore wigs when they were comfortable. After a while, when my hair got to be 1 or 2 inches long, I didn't always wear the wigs, but did when I wanted to look nice. The elastic scull cap things were almost always too tight.

      over 3 years ago
    • gwendolyn's Avatar

      You may be weird, but your attitude about covering your head is not evidence of this! I can understand why you don't mind being the anonymous bald woman in the restaurant (my kids and I joke that it's the key to getting better service!) At work, however, I'm assuming you want to be perceived as the old you, the competent you, not someone to be pitied or the center of attention. I'm extremely self-conscious at work about my post cancer treatment appearance. I think a lot of us have always worn a virtual, professional "armor" at work and having a naked head feels very vulnerable and exposed.

      over 3 years ago
    • Catouheart's Avatar

      You guys are awesome. I just shaved my head today - thought it would be no big deal, but I have put off a trip to Wal-Mart ALL day because I'm feeling self-conscious about my head. (But then I had no problem posting a pic on Facebook). Go figure - guess we're all weird!

      over 3 years ago

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