• How are you dealing with the emotions that range from happy to mad as XXX and everywhere in between?

    Asked by dollymama on Monday, December 14, 2015

    How are you dealing with the emotions that range from happy to mad as XXX and everywhere in between?

    I see people that are happy, shopping, smiling, not a worry in the world it would seem. And here we are wondering if we will make it to next Christmas one minute, then happy to still be here for this one, this year. It's about to drive me nuts!

    13 Answers from the Community

    13 answers
    • geekling's Avatar
      geekling

      Lower your expectations.

      Live in the moment.

      Be mindful of the joy a moment can bring.

      Breathe deeply.

      Joy, gratitude, service.

      Happy Holidays

      about 4 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      That's the way I felt after my last diagnosis in 08, right before Christmas. But after I seen my doctor for the first time and he calmed me down and explained that this was something they do every day and I would be OK, I got a whole lot more relaxed. The mind is a very powerful thing, you can make yourself think you're a goner, or going to be fine. And you will believe either, depending on how your mind is at the time.

      about 4 years ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      I go with what geekling and Greg said, and I'll add that I bet that some (or many) of those apparently-happy people you see around you are harboring their own sadness, grief, disappointment, or fears about cancer or other ills. Most of us put on happy faces when in public - unless you're in NYC, where we put on our surly faces (LOL) - but we have our share of woes that aren't readily apparent. I know you know this, dollymama, but these thoughts are what sprang to mind. Anyway, I hope you can feel better more of the time and go through the darker feelings with some ease. I'm still very anxious about cancer and/or everything else, but in my older age (67, almost 68), I've become somewhat stoic - at least until I get bad news about my health or that of friends! Hugs, Carool

      about 4 years ago
    • cllinda's Avatar
      cllinda

      I think everyone has some kind of cross to bear, and ours is cancer. But everyone has some kind of problem: health, alcoholism, family issues, financial issues, and so many more. It's how you deal with what you are given that can either make you or break you. I choose to be happy when I can be.

      about 4 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      Yes that used to bother me when my sister was battling cancer..then I just thought about how none of us get out of here alive . None of us want to leave when are time is up so let's just stay in the moment because that's all any of us really have..
      So then I go out and have a nice peice of chocklate cake and I feel better.

      about 4 years ago
    • TXHills' Avatar
      TXHills

      That emotional roller coaster can be a bear, sometimes. THere is no point in comparing yourself to others, as you have no way to know what's in their heads. The best you can do is roll with the punches, hang on for the low points and remember that it will swing back up and you will feel better again.
      Mindfulness practices such as yoga, breathing, and meditation can help you learn to stay in the moment, which helps fear and anxiety, as they are about possible futures.
      Try some rigorous self-care, such as enough sleep, exercise and healthy foods, plus music, laughter or adding whatever brings you joy back into your life. You have more control over your thoughts than you realize. And they control your emotions, not the other way around. Best to you.

      about 4 years ago
    • Ejourneys' Avatar
      Ejourneys

      A few years ago, before my breast cancer diagnosis, I was having a very bad caregiving day. Being able to get out of the house and do some errands made for some very welcome respite.

      I was jaunting -- yes, jaunting -- back to my car with groceries when a woman a few yards away called out to me. I forget her exact words, but she commented on how happy I seemed.

      I grinned back at her and said, "Bottom line is I'm still on this side of the grass."

      We got to talking. She was also a caregiver. We connected for the few minutes we stood outside the supermarket, then hugged each other and went our separate ways.

      Now I am both a caregiver and a cancer patient. And I am still on this side of the grass.

      I tell myself that even a bad day is a good day because I know things could be a lot worse.

      I take everything one day/one minute/one nanosecond at a time. And I enjoy life as best I can.

      PS: I have a much easier time with cancer (and the fatigue, vertigo, wonky blood test results, exacerbated carpal tunnel syndrome, and everything else that physically limits me) than with the caregiving I have now been doing since 2001. In a way, being a caregiver helped prepare me for cancer. And almost two decades of severe dysmenorrhea (which was MUCH worse than all my cancer SEs, including during chemo) helped prepare me for caregiving.

      That day in the supermarket parking lot, I must have looked like I didn't have a care in the world.

      about 4 years ago
    • Sue_2015's Avatar
      Sue_2015

      Mind over matter. Knowledge is Power. The power of positive thinking. Laughter is the best medicine. These are a few phrases that I've known since childhood and believe them to be true. I'm not sure if I was born with a good sense of humor or if it's something I learned from watching other people and my family members as I was growing up.

      In my mind, I picture my cancer tumors are shrinking. I believe that I will be NED in the very near future. I expect to live into my 80' or 90's (just like my gramma's did) and still be taking my daily walks, going shopping and everything else that I do now.

      When I pass people as I walk into a store, I smile and say hello. (Some look at me as if I'm nuts, but many smile back and say hello.) If I see someone struggling to reach for something, I offer to help or go get help if I can't reach it either. Pay it forward whenever you can. It feels good, makes you smile and brightens everyone's day.

      about 4 years ago
    • HeidiJo's Avatar
      HeidiJo

      I think the thing that helped me the most, was to accept those emotions. Its ok to be angry, and sad and happy for what you have and to laugh when you can. My brother in law was astonished once because I laughed at something. I said, " Well yeah, it was funny" You are going to run the gamut of emotions, and it is ok.

      about 4 years ago
    • donjjuan's Avatar
      donjjuan

      I'm having a difficult time with this. My emotions seemed to be tied directly to how I'm feeling. If I'm tired and in pain then I'm also depressed. I agree with HeidiJo that it's okay to accept those emotions and feel them deeply. Go ahead and cry and be XXX off but then let them wash over you and move on. When I try to hold them in and force myself to be happy, it doesn't seem to work as well. When I let out the frustration, I'm able to get over it quicker and move on to having a better day!

      about 4 years ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      Hi dollymama! If you saw me out shopping, you would never suspect that I have stage IV lung cancer. My philosophy is that I am going to live my life to the fullest extent possible until I draw my last breath. I don't think of my cancer every minute of every day. I would say I go hours between remembering that I am fighting a deadly disease. I am happy. I am blessed.

      about 4 years ago
    • mbeshey's Avatar
      mbeshey

      I"ve been mad, upset since I'm still dealing with the "leftovers" from my original treatment...not mad at doctors, the disease. I still cannot really relax and now I must have surgery days before Christmas. My outlook is positive though as now I can stay at home, not run around for others for a bit and be healthier down the road.

      about 4 years ago
    • barbdee's Avatar
      barbdee

      Doing something for someone else always works for me. I've learned to have my moments& get some extra rest. I have taken a mild anti depressant for 20 years. With cancer, it was not the time to eliminate it! Speak to your team if you continue this path. Wish i g you the best going forward

      about 4 years ago

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