• how can i stay postive. when there is not enough info supporting positive prognosis?

    Asked by chrisrdh on Tuesday, July 31, 2012

    how can i stay postive. when there is not enough info supporting positive prognosis?

    17 Answers from the Community

    17 answers
    • teddyfuzz's Avatar

      Hi chrisrdh. I'm guessing that you (or someone you know) was recently diagnosed because it sounds like you are in the "researching" stage. Staying positive is hard. It's natural to want to research after a diagnosis but there is a lot of negative information out there. Just because you can't find more information supporting positive prognosis doesn't mean that you (or your loved one) won't beat this! Cancer is no longer a death sentence. Please try to stay positive (it's better for your body) but don't kick yourself for being upset either.

      about 5 years ago
    • PhillieG's Avatar

      Cancer is a tough thing to deal with and it's normal to want to research the heck out of it. The problem that I've encountered is that so much of the data that you find (especially on the internet) is outdated. It's really pretty easy to research yourself into a panic if you're not careful as far as checking the dates of the studies, etc.

      Also, when I've come across stats that say X% of people live past Y years, I've always looked at it as "well why can't I be part of that group that survives?". I mean SOMEONE has to be in that group, right?

      The other thing that you can do to increase your chances is to make sure you get to the BEST POSSIBLE Cancer Center that you can. Even if that means traveling a bit. Plenty of people will travel for the consultations then have the "plan" carried out by a local Onc.
      I wish you the best...

      about 5 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      I second both the previous answers. Stay positive, if the numbers say 90% negative, I am going to be one of the 10%. I searched myself into a frenzy on my last diagnoses, all I found was that I should last about 6 months, then if I do beat it, it will come back in another year or two. Well, right now I am at 4 years out, still kicking and doing pretty good, and plan to stay that way. Fine to research, but keep in mind that everyone's case is different, specific to you, and all those facts and figures don't exactly apply to you.

      Best of luck to you!

      about 5 years ago
    • Bellamore's Avatar

      There are days I don't allow myself online to "research" anything about cancer, like PhilliG says, it's all outdated anyway.

      I think I stay fairly positive knowing that I am in the hands of one of the best doctors at one of the best facilities in the world. I think PhillieG would agree with that too.

      And then, of course, I believe that I am exactly where the Lord would have me on my life's journey.

      about 5 years ago
    • chrisrdh's Avatar

      thank you all for postive feedback!!!!

      about 5 years ago
    • Paul-a-Sir-5-4's Avatar

      I read positive stories, quotes, and comments. I also listen to and sing along with uplifting positive songs. I search YouTube, Vimeo and other places for positive videos and watch them (especially laughing babies). I also get movies that make me laugh a lot and watch them, sometimes over and over.

      about 5 years ago
    • mgm48's Avatar

      Staying positive is an art. You are the only one to know how to stay positive for you. I for one am a data driven person, I like to know everything I can about my cancer. It helps me plan and deal with the fact that they have no cure for mine, just treatments that buy time. For me the decision to be positive was the most important thing I've done. I simply decided that while I really want to know what the averages are, I don't have to be one of them. I exercise every day (biking has become MY thing), eat right and realize that even when the doctors don't have particularly encouraging news , I am an individual and I am not average. I have set a goal to see my granddaughter get her Phd - that's about 22 years from now. That's just how positive I am. I also found that it's a lot better to focus on the positive than the negative. It's a quality of life issue. So no matter how long I have left, I'd prefer to be positive. Mind over matter.

      Wishing you the best. Remember, you're not average either!

      Keep it positive and smile :)

      about 5 years ago
    • Mollie's Avatar

      For me "talking it out" with my therapist helps immensely...

      about 5 years ago
    • Carol-Charlie's Avatar

      Welcome to this wonderful site. I'm sorry you had to look for us, but you'll be so glad you found us. I do know what you're feeling... When I figured out that the doctor was about to tell me that I had Ovarian Cancer....A terror welled up in me that about started me screaming no no no. Ever since watching Gilda Radner on TV talking about her ovarian cancer and how the symptoms were so 'silent'... I'd thought... boy, with my stomach problems, bad back, etc. I'd never notice it either. And I didn't. I lay there waiting for the tech to come back, and was so scared I asked God to just please take my hand and guide me to where he wanted me to be. I all but knew I'd die of it, but the being scared was the worst part. I raised my hand and it seemed instantly my fear was gone. I mean gone. They came in and told me that my doctor wondered if I could run over to her office for just a momment... She told me - late stage Ovarian Cancer. I asked what we had to do... and we started... she referred me to her gynicologist, who then referred me to a (new at the time specialist) a gynicological oncologist surgeon. He and I talked, I told him I wanted to fight... I was 62, wonderful husband, three sons, five step-kids, and 16 grandchldren... I noticed how everyone at the clinic was so positive...smiling... The surgeon removed all the cancer. Shocked even himself when he saw the PET CT Scan results. HE GOT IT ALL. Then two years of chemo. My fingers are rather numb, my feet are numb, and my hair... didn't grow back enough to actually go outside with it. I had already discovered PaulsYoung.com wigs... They look better than my own hair and were affordable and easy. If someone calls, I can shake it, and wear it. Try to find something each day to thank God for. Look for good things... and when all else fails... We can always dance in the rain. Don't forget... worst case... we end up in Heaven with our Lord.

      about 5 years ago
    • Clyde's Avatar

      Hi Chris, sorry to hear about your worries. I recently went through something similar. I found that by removing myself (remaining objective or just being a Doubting Thomas, don't be afraid to be suspicious of what you read or hear) when reading on line (or listening to stories), it was easier to digest. If something sounded horribly negative (or overly optimistic), I would check when it was written and as others have pointed out, it was usually out of date or sometimes, just plain incorrect. Write down any questions you have, take them with you to your Dr (and write down the answers you get or tape record if you can--and take the hand outs to read later when you are calm) so you can check later (Dr visits can be traumatic just by their nature, especially at first.). Only listen to your Dr.(s), not even their nurses. Limit the information you take in to people who are in the know. Don't be afraid to get a second opinion, or third from a Dr. if you want (I recommend this), but don't let even the most well meaning nurse lead you astray. And remember, your Dr.s should have the most up to date info, the internet mostly still thinks the world is flat. There may not be hard and fast answers which is better than negative imho. Put yourself in the mindset of "How do I beat this?" rather than "How is this going to beat me?" Its easier than you think. Distance yourself from friends and relatives who start planning your funeral every time you see them. They may mean well (or just like the drama) but they are doing you no good. Smile, tell them everything is fine and change the subject. Find an objective person to speak too (I find shrinks are better than clergy and almost never family-they are too close) if you need to vent. And don't get down on yourself when you have a dark moment. It will happen. Keep a guilty pleasure or something that makes you feel good at hand to pull you out of it. Mine is a charm I carry that reminds me of a dirty weekend in Paris when we almost got arrested for something we did at Notre Dame. Always makes me smile. Continue to live your life. This is a speed bump, not running into a wall.

      about 5 years ago
    • po18guy's Avatar

      I live less for this life, and more for the next one. It distills down to a single word: faith.

      about 5 years ago
    • Fusionera's Avatar

      Hi Chrisrdh,

      I know how hard it is to stay positive when the "statistics" indicate otherwise. I was diagnosed with a grade III malignant brain tumor 17 years ago. At that time, my doctor told my parents, "We'll do everything we can to make her comfortable." You know of course what that means. My prognosis back then was not good - a matter of mon ths if that long; I agree with PhillieG on the issue of the information available. It does tend to be outdated. Please don't beat yourself up about this process. I hope you have friends and family around you who can keep you cheered up and help you keep your mind on more positive things, such as what you can do to stay upbeat during treatment. Again, I know how difficult this is and I am not at all trying to sound pollyanna-ish. I also know that staying positive helps with your health and to endure treatment a little more easily. Hang in there and lots of hugs to you!

      about 5 years ago
    • FreeBird's Avatar

      Hi chrisrdh. It's hard for anyone to stay positive on our health if we look 150 years into the future. My dad has a rotten prognosis if you listen to doctors, with almost no one surviving 5 years, and most people dying within about six months for stage iv pancreatic cancer. I find that it helps to turn off the high beams, turn on the low beams, and only focus on the immediate road ahead. You can have positive and good days, living one day at a time. That's really all we all have anyway. The future will come when it comes, even for those in good health. Focus on having the best day you can right now.

      about 5 years ago
    • Tania's Avatar

      Hi Chrisrdh:

      I know it's hard what helped me a lot were my friends. I had a friend that everyday she would tell me put make-up fix your self up when you go to work and it did help. My family and reglion have helped alot. I wish i had known about yoga. I just started yoga and I love it. The more you talk about it the better it will be. Hugs from Miami Florida - Tania

      about 5 years ago
    • SandiD's Avatar

      I am a two time cancer survivor, colon then breast cancer. After the second diagnosis just a year later, I struggled too. But instead of researching the bad stuff, I started researching Survivors! There are a lot if them! They do more and more to save cancer patients all the time. If you get hit by a bus tomorrow, it won't matter anyway, right? Try hard to live in the moment and surround yourselves with positive people, books, movies, etc. And take it one day at a time. That is all we really have anyway. I have learned to enjoy the simple things in life. Wishing you the best.

      about 5 years ago
    • Jeana1975's Avatar

      I did that same thing as you did, Chris, and I'll tell you what; all that research can be VERY intimidating. What I would do is stick to the places that truly know what they're talking about. Mayo Clinic, American Cancer Society and the CDC are all excellent resources for information on your kind of cancer; but remember, these prognosis' are generalized. Don't forget, you're a unique woman, and no one has a body quite like you do. Just because one medical journal says the prognosis is grim, does not mean that your body will agree :) Decide that you're not going to listen to ANY of it! Decide that you're going to stand tall, be courageous and learn as you go. Your resolve, your desire to FIGHT, your willingness to do whatever is necessary to kick this cancer's proverbial booty is what determines your prognosis. A positive attitude will take you MILES away from a grim prognosis, Chris...believe me, attitude when fighting cancer is half the battle. Best of luck to you, and let us know how you're doing these days.

      about 5 years ago
    • SpunkyS's Avatar

      The facts and research are scarey. I stopped looking because they did not encourage me at all.
      I look for the blessing in each day, and try to be grateful for each day, taking whatever comes then and not thinking too far out.
      I need to whine occasionally so found someones who let me pout and whine and then get back to life.
      Will keep your needs in prayer.

      about 5 years ago

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