• How did everyone get through the testing to find out if you have cancer and dealing with the fact that this is your life now?

    Asked by Dani on Tuesday, August 14, 2012

    How did everyone get through the testing to find out if you have cancer and dealing with the fact that this is your life now?

    It is getting so hard to do all the testing, and the pain really gets me down. I am so scared about what is going to come next. How did everyone get through this, and how do you stay strong when you feel no one around you understands what your going through?

    7 Answers from the Community

    7 answers
    • GetMyLifeBack's Avatar
      GetMyLifeBack

      Frist of all, I didn't "stay strong" and honestly I don't think it is fair for you to expect yourself to be strong through this at every point a long the way. When I was going through testing, I cried almost every day. I was strong in the office but when I was in the car, I cried so hard I am sure should not have been driving. You get through the testing because you have to. You have no choice. You just put one foot in front of the other and keep marching. You may want to seek out Imerman Angels because they can match you with a volunteer who had the same diagnosis, etc if you really need to talk to someone who knows what you are going through. Friends and loved ones are well intentioned but it is hard, especially at your age, to imagine facing mortality. That being said, I leaned heavily on my friends. None of them have cancer but they have ears and hearts and most of the time that is all I needed (and every once in while a swift kick in the pants). Most of all, I never accepted that this is my life now. This is a phase of my life. A hard one, but just one. It does not define my life but it does color it a bit differently. I value taking advantage of every moment I have. I still get down and frustrated and think of the many losses I have experienced but I chose not to focus on those things too long because I will not be able to get on with the act of living. Take one day at a time. Enjoy the days you feel well and take full advantage of them. Do something unrelated to cancer as often as you can. Go to a support group if you need to. Beat cancer down and keep moving.

      over 4 years ago
    • Dani's Avatar
      Dani

      I try and give myself time to feel down and be sad about what is going on, I just feel like I never really get the time. It's like there is so much going on around me I can't really focus on myself. This is the hardest time in my life, but the people around me don't really seem to understand. I don't really have any friends, and my family is so caught up in there own lives to talk about whats going on with me that sometimes I just feel really alone. I have tried to get involved with other things, but with all the testing I have to do it just seems impossible. Thank you for writing me back. I am really trying to stay strong through all this. Just having responses like this make my day a little easier. Thanks so much Xoxo Dani

      over 4 years ago
    • GetMyLifeBack's Avatar
      GetMyLifeBack

      You might want to check out stupidcancer.com. It is focused on the 40 and under crowd and they have links to community groups and activities so you can expand your circle of support. I am so sorry you have been left alone to deal with this by those you need most right now. This phase of everything will pass. Once they know definitively what they are working with they will devise a plan for you and you can move forward. Things slow down a lot once a plan is in place. I find that it is in those quiet times you will be able to take better care of yourself, and you will also be more likely to feel all the emotions you are too busy to feel right now. Try to stay focused and keep coming back. There are a lot of supportive people here. You might also want to talk to someone at your treatment center about support groups.

      over 4 years ago
    • Dani's Avatar
      Dani

      I will bring it up to the people at the place I go to. Also today I went in and if the tests go as they think they are going to then I will be having surgery sometime in the next two months. I am ready to start treatment and I'm really ready for everything to slow down around me. I hope once we know more my family will understand and be able to be a little more supportive. I know it's a hard time for them too, so I am trying not to force anything. Thanks so much for the advice and I will go to that website and check it out. Thanks for being there for me to lean on. I really appreciate your support and I will keep coming back on here, because since all this has happened I look forward to the little down time I do have to talk to people who know what I am going through. It's nice to know I don't have to be strong all the time :) How are you doing is everything okay?

      over 4 years ago
    • Beaner54's Avatar
      Beaner54

      It's tough to stay strong but testing and treatment is necessary in order to beat cancer. Try to look ahead to brighter days and take advantage of the days that you feel good. I am trying to accept my "new life" rather than stay angry with my uterine cancer diagnosis and now possible colon cancer.
      Friends and family try to relate but I find more comfort in talking to other women who are or have been in my shoes.
      Keep in touch.

      over 4 years ago
    • Beaner54's Avatar
      Beaner54

      Dani, please try not to feel alone although I relate to how you feel. I trust that your family loves you but it is impossible for them to understand what you are going through. They may even be hesitant to talk for fear of saying the wrong thing? If the shoe was on the other foot, how would you handle it. I have thought of this and it helped me some.

      over 4 years ago
    • Dani's Avatar
      Dani

      Thank you so much. I am trying to hang in there and not feel so alone. I am also calling around to local support groups so I can get out more and be around the people who understand what I am going through. I know it is hard for the people around me to understand what it is like I just wish they would focus more on how serious this is rather then bickering about the little things going on in their lives. Life is short, and some lives are shorter, and I deserve to be happy while I live mine. Like you said I need to enjoy the times that I feel healthy because those times right now are all I got. Thanks for all your help. What is going on with you and how are you feeling? I hope to hear from you soon. Xoxo Dani

      over 4 years ago

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