• How do you come to grips with the fact that everything you have worked for all of your life could be gone, lost, life changed forever?

    Asked by MyLungCancer on Tuesday, January 14, 2020

    How do you come to grips with the fact that everything you have worked for all of your life could be gone, lost, life changed forever?

    We retired, paid off everything, moved to a new state, new house, new dreams, and were getting ready to really enjoy the sunset of our lives. Now this XXX diagnosis comes and is going to ruin our lives. I'm so XXX at the world right now. How do you deal?

    8 Answers from the Community

    8 answers
    • Dawsonsmom's Avatar
      Dawsonsmom

      I can relate to your situation. We paid everything off in anticipation of retirement and were happy about how the future was shaping up. I retired on July 1 and got dxed w breast cancer on July 29. It certainly threw a wrench into our plans. Thus far, it has not affected our finances b/c Medicare and my supplement has paid 100% after my deductible was met. Therefore, we are moving forward w caution. My brother retired in March, 2018 and was diagnosed w esophageal cancer in May, 2018. His struggle has not been financial but his treatments have been daunting. I am much more angry about his cancer than my own and the way I deal w it is by talking to my husband, sister and friends about it. I wish I had a better answer and will not give you any of the platitudes so many of us hear. Hoping for the best for you.

      about 1 month ago
    • Jayne's Avatar
      Jayne

      Hi, my husband retired early, just finished building our dream lake house and I was going to work part time so we could enjoy the lake life together. He was diagnosed right after we moved in and boy was I was mad at the world for a while there. Mad at the world, mad at cancer, mad the doctors, mad at God, you name it and I was mad at it! But his attitude was so admirable I realized that my emotions were not helping the situation, or him so I tried my best to let it go. But it's not easy, especially as you are first thrust into the cancer world (as it looks like you are). The support group I went to really opened my eyes to how much everyone is dealing with their own trauma and eventually the anger somehow morphed into empathy. Be kind to yourself, acknowledge the anger and why you feel it, and know that you aren't alone.

      about 1 month ago
    • Woodburn9's Avatar
      Woodburn9

      Hi, I was the major bread winner of the family, going strong at 54 , making wonderful plans for retirement, then hit with stage 4 lung cancer and given a 6% chance of living 5 years. All of a sudden my income was gone but the bills were not. Panic, panic, panic! Cashed in part my 401k to pay off bills, survived the treatments, now in remission for 4 years, 6 years past that cancer diagnosis, and planning again for retirement ( also went back to work). Life is exactly how I had planned it but I am grateful to still be here.

      about 1 month ago
    • JaneA's Avatar
      JaneA

      These things happen to all of us. It's just life. Concentrate on getting well, doing the best that you can and finding pleasure in the new place that you retired to. None of us saw this coming. I was diagnosed with Stage IV rectal cancer just over 5 years ago, but I'm still here and grateful to wake up every morning. I hope that you find peace of mind.

      about 1 month ago
    • MyLungCancer's Avatar
      MyLungCancer

      Thanks for your responses. It's just scary thinking that a few months ago everything was fine and "on schedule" for where we thought we were in life. Now this cancer comes along and all of it changes.

      about 1 month ago
    • Teachertina's Avatar
      Teachertina

      How do we deal with it? One day at a time. I still make long term plans but have to be flexible at times. I’m in my 14th year of survival. I’ve lost one kidney , part of the other one and half a lung. There was a 3 year recurrence and then another 9 years after that. Today I’m a year NED again. I still go to the beach every chance I get and do other things I love. My advice is to keep living your life as much as possible!

      about 1 month ago
    • wmsavs' Avatar
      wmsavs

      Acceptance of our new normal helps us to persevere. Don't allow the diagnosis to define you. Try to maintain a positive attitude and don't be afraid to ask for help. Please keep us posted.

      about 1 month ago
    • Guitarman's Avatar
      Guitarman

      Scary time indeed. I was dx with stage 3- non Hodgkin lymphoma 6 years ago. Had just retired early, company forced out employees. Started new phase of life and wham, cancer. My insurance had high co pays. Stay of one month for stem cell transplant, and appt almost everyday after discharged at cancer institute. My insurance did not cover any MD appt. After time, learned payment plans accepted for what you can afford. Also forced to accept one day at a time to keep sanity. Hang in there!

      27 days ago

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