• How do you cope?

    Asked by KB2013 on Monday, March 14, 2016

    How do you cope?

    I'm really deeply hurt after a friend of several decades called me on phone to express her 'condolences' on me having lung cancer. She told me that she knows what I'm 'in for' and feels badly for me but doesn't think she can be around to watch me decline so I shouldn't expect to hear from her again then she closed by saying that it doesn't mean she doesn't care!!!!
    It gets worse but I don't want to write about it. I'm beyond, somewhere and just needed to tell someone, anyone.

    51 Answers from the Community

    51 answers
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      Oh KB2013, I am so heartbroken by your friend's reaction ... and the whole situation that you find yourself in. I always wanted that "paradise" you mention, but agree that it isn't the same paradise when you are there all alone.

      Do you feel good enough to adopt some hobbies? Is there a church or a book club or photography club or knitters or whatever near enough to you that you could join? I personally do dog agility. Without that activity and the friends I have made through the sport (some superficial and some true friends), I would feel so lost. The sport gets me out and about, around people, gives me something to do, something to look forward to, something to enjoy ... with my beloved dogs and with people who share common interests.

      Big, big hugs. I so wish I lived closer and could get together regularly with you. I know you would be / are a wonderful friend. Your former friend on the other hand has tons of emotional problems. I can't imagine a person so cruel.

      about 5 years ago
    • donesewright's Avatar
      donesewright

      These things are so painful to experience. I haven't spoken to my sister since my husband was diagnosed in 2012, because she didn't know how to deal with this. Thankfully, there are wonderful people out there who will walk this journey with you in hope and love. Those are the people to surround yourself with. Over time, the sting does dissipate, But it does take time. I'm so sorry that this person, and probably others, haven't been more sensitive and caring.

      almost 2 years ago
    • brizzjo's Avatar
      brizzjo

      I also have lost a lot of friends, my mother and sister no longer talk to me. I’ve been looked over in stores, while waiting in line etc. I don’t live near town so I can’t get out to meet new people. I do have 2 dogs that are by my side every minute. They are the best friends I’ve ever had ❤️

      almost 2 years ago

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