• LMM's Avatar

    How do you cope when your oncologist tells you that your case is baffling to him and colleagues. When he tells you the only thing he can

    Asked by LMM on Friday, February 8, 2013

    How do you cope when your oncologist tells you that your case is baffling to him and colleagues. When he tells you the only thing he can

    Plan for you is chemo. Radiation not possible nor is surgery. I am 48 years old with a loving wonderful husband and two beautiful children. Please pray for my family to have peace with this.

    12 Answers from the Community

    12 answers
    • carm's Avatar
      carm

      LMM, hope you got the info I sent you, Carm.

      over 4 years ago
    • LMM's Avatar
      LMM

      Carm, I didn't get info.

      over 4 years ago
    • packerbacker's Avatar
      packerbacker

      I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I'm glad you have support. Is there anyone else, like a counselor at the cancer center, that you can talk to? Or, anyone else, like at church? That's an area I'm working on. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

      over 4 years ago
    • Peroll's Avatar
      Peroll

      LMM I have a case somewath like yours in that I am well past there being any thing in the research on hoe to treat me so my Oncologist has to sort of make it up as we go. So far it has worked out for me as I have hit the 5% side of the probability 5 time in a row so it can be dome. There is lots of good research going on now so things should just only better. It also may be time for a second opinion at a hospital or clnic at a research center where they will know about the latest research into treatments and trials. Good luck and we all will keep you and your family in our prayers.

      over 4 years ago
    • Clyde's Avatar
      Clyde

      Ask him if he has talked to docs at other centers or just this one. Give him permission to reach out to others in the field or get a second opinion on your own at a non affiliated center. Tell him you will do the leg work if he gives you leads to other centers/physicians. Research experimental procedures on line and then ask him about them (don't marry yourself to any, let him advise you). Any qualified medical research should be considered open season (there is stuff happening in Europe that is very different from here) He may say that none of them will work, but you might also jog something he hasn't thought of. Think of it as working with him to find a solution. If he is planning on chemo, then he hasn't given up, neither should you.

      over 4 years ago
    • carm's Avatar
      carm

      LMM, I sent you a list of oncologists in your area that take your insurance who have great patient reviews. I sent it 2 days ago. If you did not get it let me know and I will resend. You have the option of going to another oncologist if you do not trust yours and he does not have the best reviews. You know whereto reach me, Carm.

      over 4 years ago
    • SueRae1's Avatar
      SueRae1

      Hugs and prayers to you and your family. I would get a second opinion, from a team at another oncology center. They may have had more experience with the issues you are having. Chemo can shrink the cancer enough for surgery and/or lead to remission. Wishing you the best of luck.

      over 4 years ago
    • lyblev's Avatar
      lyblev

      I am also diagnosed with anal cancer. My recommendation to you, my friend, is to get a second opinion. Why is radiation not a possibility? My prayers are for you and your family.

      over 4 years ago
    • geekling's Avatar
      geekling

      Find another doctor.

      I doubt I would bother to give this one even a wave goodbye.

      That is what I would do, in part, because you've said before you can't get questions answered. Now the doc, who i did think is honest, has finally told you why hew can't explain anything.

      I did research on the net 11 years ago when I was diagnosed with a squamous cell carcinoma which had presented, externall,y behind my anus. Nobody was baffled back then. They were quite sure I was a goner.
      I was super tired from having a cancer growing on me for 13 years before any doctor could figure out what it was.

      I offered up my life to the Creator of the Universe in exchange for that of the son of a friend who had leukemia
      and then I went to work.

      I looked into Rife machines (and began to test them out on myself through folks who already had one) and zappers (same methodology) and radically curtailed my eating habits which were already pretty darned good but I stopped cheating and restricted myself to a particular methodology. I learned a lot more than I already knew about herbs. I made plans to visit a "healer" in So. America. I talked to herbalists, shamans, medicine folks and homeopathic folks and so forth. I looked at all sorts of protocols for sale. Once I gave up my insistence to live in that offered bargain, my efforts at prolonging my life and even improving it began in earnest.

      As you may know, the Creator seldom makes bargains or, at least, seldom clues you in on one which has been accepted. A few months into my other medical worldly investigations, the conventional medical community came up with a new drug which was touted in phase II trials as being 95% effective and had neglected to kill a single one of the 35 folks who tried it. 33 of those folks were cured.

      I decided to submit to conventional treatment and went about finding an oncologist. After 6 interviews I found one I liked. His team was not up to his caliber but he was pleasant and kind and honest and open and not at all baffled in the way you describe.

      I play poker. I believe in the power of odds. 95% effective sounded like something I could beat. It is impossible, however, to play poker with someone who is clueless or "baffled" by the game. They can't explain themselves and they don't know the rules of the game. There are no odds with someone who is mindlessly holding or folding cards. You can't think to place your life into the hands of someone who is baffled, can you?

      The rule in this game is to learn as much as possible, to find some one who knows as much as possible, to leave yourself open to as much as possible than can possibly save your life.

      You don't need to beg. Take a breath. Take another. Be proactive.

      Check out a fee based site called http://www.Best Doctors.com . They have books in the reference section of the library. There is one book for each section of the country. It was started by a dude who had brain cancer and was told to go home and die. He and his partner demured and, instead, began asking doctors who they would see for this or that problem. Not only did they come up with a better doctor for their own dilemma but they came up with the best doctors for many specialties in the NE, SW, NW, and SW of this country. I found my own oncologist by his being one of a few men listed in their pages in my area of the country through the reference section of the library. BTW, I found bestdoctors through a TV news magazine story about these two men out of Aiken, SC

      Be strong. Hugz.

      over 4 years ago
    • geekling's Avatar
    • warrior3's Avatar
      warrior3

      I must agree with several others who have recommended a second opinion. Something just doesn't sound right to me. Of course, I don't know the particulars of your case but I, too, had anal cancer that had spread to nearby lymph nodes and to vaginal tissue. In my case, there was the usual chemo/radiation barrage, followed by surgery when there was residual cancer found. Even though I totally trusted my doctor I asked for a second opinion prior to the surgery. It was my own doctor who asked me where in the country I would prefer to go. He then set up an appointment for me within that week. He wanted me to be confident in the treatment that I received. Your doctor should, as well. Go see what another professional, preferably at a well-known cancer center, has to say about your case. I wish you all the best and will keep you in my prayers. Stay strong!

      over 4 years ago
    • lyblev's Avatar
      lyblev

      My prayers are with you. Please get a second opinion.

      over 4 years ago

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