• How do you cope with the diagnosis?

    Asked by Dodgerblu on Thursday, November 16, 2017

    How do you cope with the diagnosis?

    14 Answers from the Community

    14 answers
    • Hatman's Avatar
      Hatman

      How do you cope with the diagnosis? You just do.
      As Robert Frost said: "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life — It goes on."
      You find out what your options are and go forward with treatment and with life. In no way am I saying it is easy or dismissive of the impact it has on you mentally, emotionally, let alone physically. I'm on round three and know up close and very personal what that diagnosis does to you.
      But you keep going. You get up, go to work, go to school, go do whatever it is you do, and live.
      You are still you--not just your diagnosis. Focus on your options and what you can do--don't focus on what might be.
      I recognize that everyone's fight is different. My advice could very well not be right for you--it's just how I keep on fighting.

      almost 2 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      For my second cancer I ordered this set
      https://www.livestrong.org/what-we-do/program/livestrong-guidebook
      It covers just about everything, It covers finances. scheduling. Lots of resources.
      I am a 7 year survivor of stage IV esophageal cancer and next April 1 I will celebrate 5 years cancer free of stage III aggressive uterine sarcoma. My Dr. did some sort of number crunching and came up with the odds that I would be alive on April 1 2018 were 1 in 100. Well here I am. I completely changed my lifestyle I go to the YMCA twice a week. I walk as much as weather permits. I eat a nutritious diet tailored to my needs. And I have a lot of people praying for me.
      My YMCA has several programs for cancer survivors (and yes you are a SURVIVOR) . Check out your Y to see if they have any programs. Some at my Y recommend that you start the program even while you are going through treatment. Ask your Dr. about this,
      If you don't like what your Dr. is telling you don't be afraid to get a second opinion.
      Now you should add some sub-questions to this question like; "How do I cope with finances, How so I tell my family? What about Chemo? You can even post a rant or a pity party. We are all here to help you

      almost 2 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      I second @Hatman, just keep on going. Consider cancer just a roadside stop on your highway of life. I too am a 3 timer, I know the gut punched feeling you get when they come in the exam room with that file and not a smile attached to anything. After wallowing in self pity, doing a little crying, getting mad at life, yourself, god and the dog, you move to the next stage. "Let's do this", that's when you start fighting back. We all wish you the best.

      almost 2 years ago
    • lh25's Avatar
      lh25

      For me, after the shock and calling/texting a bunch of people to tell them, it was digging in and learning all I could about my cancer and my treatment options. Talking to my doctors and figuring out what we wanted to do to treat it. I also looked for support programs and found this site.

      almost 2 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Dodgerblu, you do it because you have to. You go to the doctor, listen, and then do what he says to do next. Consider cancer just a "bump in the road" of your life---treatment is only temporary, and you'll be back to normal life soon.

      You didn't tell us your family and work situation, but we usually take a time out from responsibilities like work and other strenuous tasks, and focus on your doctor's orders for treating your cancer. Pamper yourself, try to avoid stress, and live a healthy lifestyle. Let others help you.

      On Thanksgiving, be thankful for dedicated doctors, that someone developed cancer treatments, and that in this country we have the best of healthcare. During your treatments, be thankful again for doctors, cancer treatments, and that our country has the best healthcare there is! Then reach out and help someone else cope.

      I'm Stage IV on my second primary, which is stomach cancer, diagnosed almost 5 years ago. Many of us on this site have lived many years as Stage IV. Best wishes!

      almost 2 years ago
    • Jane1212's Avatar
      Jane1212

      It's been 2 years almost exactly since my doctor called after a uterine biopsy and said "I'm sorry and I'm surprised and it's cancer". I can tell you that the unknown- the period between diagnosis and surgery was the worse and I got through it with Xanax and people who love me. If you haven't had your surgery yet there is a terrific online support site called HysterSisters that I follow to get through the "fun" of the hysterectomy. Eventually the diagnosis becomes your new normal and you just absorb it into your life. Life is the key there; Cancer made me prioritize what I wanted out of life. Prioritization made me work towards less stress, more me time, more family time. But as far as the initial, OMG, diagnosis- Xanax and deep breaths. Breathe in to a 4 count, breathe out to 7 and you will make it through this.

      almost 2 years ago
    • geekling's Avatar
      geekling

      You take a deep breath, hope everyone is being honest with you, and you step forward with what you believe are your best options.

      Hugz.

      almost 2 years ago
    • Created07's Avatar
      Created07

      It also helped me to know that Someone greater than myself, and who loved me, was actually in control of everything. It took me through 4 major cancers in 5 years. And, now that I am in remission, He is still there. Through all the "what ifs" and the "Will it happen agains", He lets me know I am precious to Him. I don't think I will Ever trust this body again, but I trust the One who made it.

      almost 2 years ago
    • Ejourneys' Avatar
      Ejourneys

      When I first got my breast cancer diagnosis I coped by finding out as much information as I could, so that I could prepare questions for my medical team. I'm also a caregiver, so I needed to know my options in case I was put out of commission. I made two phone calls the day I was diagnosed. The first was to the American Cancer Society Info Center, which directed me to some great resources. The second was to the leader of my local breast cancer support group, who validated my thoughts about treatment based on what I was learning. The more I could learn, the less frightened I felt. My attitude was a combination of "lock and load," "git 'er done," and out-of-body experience.

      I wrote a detailed answer on this thread about ways to deal with stress:

      https://www.whatnext.com/questions/i-was-reading-that-how-to-relieve-stress-is-the-number-one-search-term-on-google-it-s-worth-knowing-how-people-do-it-so-how-do-you

      You've got this. Sometimes one day at a time doesn't cut it, so go for one nanosecond at a time. And above all, be gentle with yourself. Hugs.

      almost 2 years ago
    • Lynne-I-Am's Avatar
      Lynne-I-Am

      Big agreement with Jane1212. After being misdiagnosed for seven months, I was in bad shape when the doctor finally ordered a CT scan which showed later stage ovarian cancer. My husband and I immediately searched for a speacoalist and I tumbled down into depression. Funny thing about depression, I thought I was handling the news fairly well , at least we had an answer to all the physical symptoms I had been experiencing. But every time I discussed my diagnosis, the tears would flow. It was my new gp that recommended an antidepressant. At first I balked at that idea but then relented Sometimes, the support of a loving family, caring friends and fellow survivors is just not quite enough. Tears disappeared ,replaced with a stronger determination to get through the chemo treatments and surgery. This was four years ago. I have accepted that I had cancer, and accepted the fact I could have a recurrence. This acceptance has allowed me to keep moving forward.

      almost 2 years ago
    • Anniekell's Avatar
      Anniekell

      How do you cope with any bad news? Some of us turn into victims - some of us choose to go on. All of us are going to die. Wrap your mind around that and all the bad news in the world doesn’t seem so bad if the answer to am I breathing is yes.

      almost 2 years ago
    • MoveIt2012's Avatar
      MoveIt2012

      I agree with others but want to add some days will be horrid and some days will be ok and some days will be wonderful. It’s an ongoing battle for me to not be a victim of this sh-t. But if I’m going to be a victim what’s the point of treatment?
      Hard to remember sometimes but i do did down to it eventually. Me and my friend Wellbutrin that is. Best of luck to you.

      almost 2 years ago
    • Razmataz's Avatar
      Razmataz

      In life when faced with Trauma our natural response is fight or flight... Knowing this has helped me in my reactions and response to diagnose. The first time I was a total wreck and could not get myself together while realizing I had no choice or time for flight so I burst on through 16 months later second diagnoses cried an hr and got up and fought but really thought death was at the door so I got my will together I got my things in order and fought... Third time which is now. I cry when no one is around the pain is great I fight. I have a son that I love with all my heart that I can't handle his hurt face looking at me in despair. I have come to accept death as inevetible when the time is right but because I've accepted this I realize that each day I get is going to be a good one. If not something needs to change so it can be.. Good luck and I am truly sorry for your diagnoses. It is a journey that will give you strength. hugs

      almost 2 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Dodgerblu, remember you do it because you have to. You have no choice. You and your doctor make a treatment plan and you do it, one step at a time. Remember active treatment is temporary, and you'll get back to your new normal life soon.

      Avoid stress and always be thankful you have good things to look forward to, whether it's time with children or other loved ones. Wishing you the best.

      almost 2 years ago

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