• How do you deal with negative doctors?

    Asked by BoiseB on Tuesday, April 2, 2013

    How do you deal with negative doctors?

    I have nicknamed my oncologist Dr. doom. He has the worst bedside manner of any medical professional, I have ever known. At my appointment (following surgery) The first words out of his mouth were "There is a 100% probability your cancer will return." There was no discussion of any action I might take. When I heard that statement I just went numb. Thank heaven my son was with me to take charge of the rest of the appointment. Cancer care is rather limited in this area I am researching second opinions.

    8 Answers from the Community

    8 answers
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      Me being the eternal optimist, I would find that hard to take. I would probably ask why he has no confidence in his ability to get rid of the cancer. But I tend to be that way. And yes, I would be looking for Onc. #2 and I would tell him why.

      over 4 years ago
    • nancyjac's Avatar

      I think to a large degree this is a matter of perspective. I am more concerned with my doctor's capabilities and honesty than I am with bedside manner. If you feel incapable of communicating with your doctor, then I would suggest having him refer you to another oncologist or another option would be to sign a disclosure statement so that he can discuss your medical status completely with your son.

      over 4 years ago
    • SueRae1's Avatar

      Yes capabilities and honesty are extremely important when being treated, but bedside manner is important as well. If you do not feel comfortable with the doctor in charge of your care, look iinto finding one that you can have a better relationship with. At the very least get a 2nd opinion.

      over 4 years ago
    • Clyde's Avatar

      Normally I would go with the "bedside manner is less important than ability to heal me" response, but his lack of a follow up with any sort of treatment option would lead me to doubt his abilities.

      I would seek out another opinion, even if it means travel. A few hours in the car would be worth it.

      You also need to let him know that you want to fight. Make him defend his statement. He may just be a fatalist (which sucks in a dr).

      over 4 years ago
    • Peroll's Avatar

      BoiseB, If hre is telling you that there is an 100% chance of it returning he is saying that he can not kill all of the cancer since cancer really does not return it just gets too small to detect then eventually begins to grow again until it is a detectable size. It soumnds to me like you have two types of cancer and that at least one is a stage IV that has spread. I think your case, like mine, is now past the normal or routine stage and is probably to the point that there is no written guidance on what to do. This means that you need a Dr that can think past the normal and look at the out side the box treatmens.

      Based on what you have said I would advise seeking a second opinion and when dioing so I usually recommend looking for a 2nd opinion from a Dr associaltes with a research clinic or hospital as they will have better acces to and knowledge of the lates research, treatment options and clinical trials. I am not familiar with the Boise ID area and what is available there but it may be that you need to travel to Salt Lake City, Portland, or Seattle to find a Dr that has expertise in cases like yours. You need to do some research to see where the research into your type of cancer is being done. This does not mean you have to move to get your treatment as once you have an exper on yout team he can participate from a distance giving advice and directing tratment. The internet is wonderful for getting all of the data sent over long distances so experts anywhere can be consulted. It helps if the local cancer center has a relationship with the experts orginization but that is also not strictly necessary. Good Luck and let us know if we can help you in any way with this.

      over 4 years ago
    • JennyMiller's Avatar

      I would not deal well with negative Doctors. I am a sensitive person who needs a positive and supportive team. I travel to a different city to my Oncologist as the one in my own city is known to be negative, rude, unsympathetic and with some other issues - I would have withered under his care. My daughter, who is my advocate, found me a wonderful Oncologist who is renowned in her field. She is skilled, thorough, caring, encouraging, positive, kind, etc. -- everything I need in my battle -- and she gives hugs!!!!! Not everyone needs this kind of care but I do -- and I am so thankful to have it.

      over 4 years ago
    • Molly72's Avatar
      Molly72 (Best Answer!)

      My surgeon left me after a terrible & complicated surgery for GIST in the hands of the Three Stooges. She went on vacation, and never got in touch with me for a follow-up visit after the surgery...... not even a phone call. Nada!
      Guess what? After getting out of the hospital, I not only left her "care", but went to another hospital system and another oncologist. A system that treat patients as people.
      You can do that too, you have the power over what happens in your life & you make a choice to what you will and will not tolerate, so be brave & find a decent doc that you respect & who respects you!

      over 4 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar

      Thank you all for your responses. I am taking your advice and seeking other treatment. This is not the first time I have negative encounters with this man. The first appointment, his lack of compassion caused my daughter to faint. I am also researching some alternate therapies.

      over 4 years ago

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