• How do you handle feeling overwhelmed?

    Asked by Iluvmymomso on Monday, April 8, 2013

    How do you handle feeling overwhelmed?

    My 75 year old Mom has stage IV gastric cancer, had the surgery back in Aug 2012. Was on tube feedings until Oct 23 2012, now eats whatever she wants but weight only stays between 90 -95 pounds. At her heaviest she was at 143 pounds. Almost finished with chemo. Has PET Scan scheduled for April 25th 2013. Has never once complained and stays oh so positive!! As her daughter, I have never missed any of her Dr appointments, chemo sessions or hospital stays. She has taught me so much about having a positive outlook. When I am with her, I manage to hold it together, but when I am at work or driving home after being with her, I tend to fall apart and cry. And cry some more. Have not had luck in local support groups for family members,care takers.....what advice can you give a person in my situation??? thanking you in advance!!

    5 Answers from the Community

    5 answers
    • SueRae1's Avatar

      I would speak to your mothers oncologist and ask for a referral/recommendation for a therapist who is trained to help cancer caregivers. They are trained to help you navigate the day to day realities of caring of your mom, give you strategies to make your life easier and free up time to take care of yourself. You man also want to investigate taking anti-anxiety meds such a xanax, lexapro, etc to help keep you on an even keel. Both DH & I are on mild doses of such medication, and it's really helped us start enjoying things again.

      over 3 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      If you don't like the in person support groups, you very well might find what you need here. Just post what you need help with in the questions tab, and many here will be glad to help with information or just here to talk.

      If you would like to contact a person to person online support group, click the link below. They will actually call and set up a person who is your counselor (of sorts) they might be able to help too.

      Feel free to ask anything you may need help with.

      Wishing you the best. I know it's tough, I lost my Mom and Dad both to cancer, 10 months apart. We took care of them in Hospice care, I think it was tougher than having cancer myself.

      Contact @FreeBird here on the site, he is currently in the middle of taking care of his ailing father who is in hospice care. He can be a big help to you, I'm sure.

      over 3 years ago
    • Peroll's Avatar

      You may want to look up my wife who goes by Queen Tatiana here on what next. She has been wioth me for my 8 1/2 year fight at my side and mostly hiolding it together in from of me, but I know that she, like you, has times when she breaks down. I have said that I think being a care giver is harder than being a patient in that you have no control. She can help you understand your feelings and tell you how she has managed on our journey. Good Luckl

      over 3 years ago
    • becky68's Avatar

      Let yourself cry!! Cry,scream,be angry,be sad,be happy...it's a process and it's normal; Your life has changed because your Mom was diagnosed with cancer and you are her caregiver. You have to take care of yourself too(eat right, get plenty of sleep,take me time...),and maybe even talk to your doctor about starting a low dose anti-anxiety med or antidepressant. I know as a caregiver,we sometimes just need to vent-say what's on our mind. If you like to write,you can keep a journal (diary) of whatevers on your mind...the good,the bad ,and everything in between. Shoot me an e-mail if you'd like.

      over 3 years ago
    • Lirasgirl33's Avatar

      It's ok to cry and get those emotions out. It doesn't mean you are falling apart. I did this every now and then and felt better afterwards. You are being so strong for your mom and that is wonderful. If local support groups are not helping, feel free to share with us. Sometimes just typing out our emotions helps. We are a family here on Whatnext, we have your back and are cheering you on. You are not alone. Feel free to reach out via email to any one of us. Hugs.

      over 3 years ago

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