• How does being single work after breast cancer? Does it scare off people?

    Asked by mer1023 on Sunday, April 14, 2013

    How does being single work after breast cancer? Does it scare off people?

    I am not sure how to approach dating after breast cancer. I could use some advice.

    4 Answers from the Community

    4 answers
    • Clyde's Avatar

      How about dating after any cancer diagnosis?

      over 3 years ago
    • Nancebeth's Avatar

      I have written a blog post about this:


      I thought I had a part 1, but maybe not...meh, chemo brain.

      Anyway, what I have found is this:
      1. You will know whether to tell someone on the first date or not. I have told on the first date and I have waited. I did not tell my current boyfriend until the second date, which was postposned due to cellulitis in my left boob which hospitalized me for 3 days. I figured since I had to cancel our date and I didn't want him to wonder what the heck I was in the hospital for, I told him. He was perfectly fine about it, told me I am the strongest person he knows. We have been dating ever since (granted it's only been 2 months but we're off to a good start)
      2. If you tell him and he runs for the hills, he is a douchecanoe and you're too good for him anyway.
      3. When you feel ready to date, start dating. Dont rush it.
      4. I had a modified bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstructionwith silicone gel implants. I have no nipples/areola and don't plan to get any. It doesn't bother me. It bothered the first guy I dated and tried to get intimate with. He saw them, said "I cant do this." and I kicked him out. I was distraught and heartbroken. Not because I liked him all that much, but because I thought this was a sign of things to come. It wasn't. He was a loser but not all men are.
      5. You are more than your cancer and don't make dating all about your cancer. Yes, you can talk about it, it's part of your life. But I am sure there is a lot more to your life than just cancer. For example, I love to go to Spinning class, I volunteer for Coastal Boxer Rescue, I love hiking, cupcakes, and sushi. etc etc. There's a lot more to me than cancer.

      I hope that helps. Feel free to look at my blog and email me if you want to chat further.

      over 3 years ago
    • mer1023's Avatar

      Very true @ Clyde
      Thanks Nancebeth...I will check out your blog

      over 3 years ago
    • Nancebeth's Avatar

      I do agree with Clyde, dating after any cancer is hard, but having been through the removal and reconstruction of my breasts (sans nipples and very scarred) I can relate to the uniqueness of a single woman trying to date with what I lovingly refer to as Frankenboobs.

      over 3 years ago

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