• How much information to share

    Asked by aedwards on Wednesday, May 27, 2015

    How much information to share

    My husband has no idea how poor his prognosis is. He hasn't looked up anything on the internet and his oncologist is very positive. If he knew, he could not mentally handle it. He has plans to go to Vegas when he gets into remission. Is it wrong to keep information from him? I am praying that he will not know the prognosis for Stage IV Cholangeocarcinoma/Adenocarcinoma/Bile Duct Cancer until he is on so many meds that he can handle hearing it. Is this the wrong thing to do? We are hoping that since he is so young and only has 3 small metastisis, that we can get a lot of time, with the right chemo. I don't know the best way to handle this.

    12 Answers from the Community

    12 answers
    • cam32505's Avatar

      Your husband has a right as a patient and an adult to know about his illness. There may be things he wants to do or say before it's too late. I know you want him to have hope and there's always new and better treatments in the pipeline. I wish you well.

      over 4 years ago
    • amontoya's Avatar

      I was in your situation when I was the caregiver to my ex. He wanted to know nothing and wanted me to handle everything and have all the knowledge. For some reason, he could not wrap his mind around the facts and just didn't understand what was happening to him. I thought it was selfish and immature to burden me with everything while he ignored the facts. Eventually the burden was too much to handle by myself and we parted ways. He is still a train wreck but cured. Shielding him from the truth did NOTHING for him but make him a much more difficult person to deal with. This is your choice but I cannot understand why you would want to shoulder the burden alone?

      over 4 years ago
    • HeidiJo's Avatar

      You know him best and what is right for him. He may be in denial, and is dealing with it the best way he knows how. He probably does know more than you think. If planning a trip to Vegas helps him cope, so be it. It can help him deal with this whether he actually gets to go or not. Miracles happen every day. I was in denial when I was first diagnosed, I went around telling everyone I had Lymphoma with a big smile on my face like I was telling them I had a bee sting! Its funny when I look back on it now.

      over 4 years ago

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