• How to handle anger of patient

    Asked by Blondiebl on Thursday, July 10, 2014

    How to handle anger of patient

    My Mom was just diagnosed June 2014. She is stage 4 and has irritability, anger, and frustratiioin. Im her daughter and taking care of her is a hard job! She refuses chemo as it wont help her at this point. Does everyone go thru this?

    14 Answers from the Community

    14 answers
    • Ejourneys' Avatar

      Patient anger at caregivers is not uncommon. (I'm a caregiver as well as a patient.) As FreeBird said, it's the disease talking. I have had to learn to detach emotionally (easier said than done; I'm still working on it) for the sake of my own health. The caregiver is the one who is on-site 24/7. We are also a physical reminder to the patient of what (s)he has lost. Anger can also be a way of fighting against one's sense of powerlessness, which makes it a (sometimes maladaptive) survival mechanism.

      I have found these caregiver support sites to be very helpful:

      http://www.caregiving.com -- very active grassroots network. Holds #carechat tweet chats on alternate Sunday nights at 8 PM Eastern. I believe the next one is on July 20.

      http://thecaregiverspace.org/ -- another excellent grassroots network.

      http://www.caregiver.com -- more corporate than the other two but also a good source of support. Sponsors one-day Fearless Caregiver Conferences across the US, free to family caregivers.

      You and your mom are also both dealing with a brand new and very serious diagnosis and everything is raw at this point. Both your reactions are natural. One book that helped me when a very dear friend was in the late stages of cancer was Elizabeth Kubler Ross's "On Death And Dying," because it gives an in-depth treatment of emotional reactions. It helped me come to grips with what I was feeling.

      over 5 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar

      Anger is perfectly natural at this point, You will probably experiance a lot of anger also. If you are a member of a church get in touch with your pastor. My church has a healing ministry, made up of medical professionals. They visit the sick and provide counsel. Check out the social workers at your Medical Center. I definately second the suggestion that you read "On Death and Dying"

      over 5 years ago
    • Judt1940's Avatar

      Hospice can give her a patch that will calm her down. My aunt had dementia and was very angry. It's so hard to deal with a difficult patient. They can wear you down. Get help.

      over 5 years ago

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