• How to make my mother pass on with out so much stress and pain

    Asked by Kinereth on Monday, March 11, 2013

    How to make my mother pass on with out so much stress and pain

    7 Answers from the Community

    7 answers
    • nancyjac's Avatar
      nancyjac

      Does she have a doctor's order for hospice care? Does she have adequate pain medication? If she is receiving adequate pain medication she should be pain and stress free.

      almost 4 years ago
    • Kinereth's Avatar
      Kinereth

      She lives in Cuernavaca Mexico, and they do not have hospices, we are at the hospital, they are giving her morfin however she still complains and she is very uncomfortable, we asked the doctors to give her something that will make her sleep and they just did that now. Is there anything else that we can ask the doctors to do

      almost 4 years ago
    • carm's Avatar
      carm

      Kinereth,
      In end of life care, we use what is referred to as a "H.A.M." sandwich which is Haloperidol, Ativan & Morphine in combination to ease anxiety, pain and respiration in those final days or hours. It is normal for the dying to go through what is referred to as "Terminal Restlessness" or "Terminal Agitation." This phenomenon generally lasts between 1 to 3 days, and precedes death by 1 to 3 days. During that phase it will seem like she is in a stressful state and will display unusual behaviors like requesting to get up and go home or somewhere else repeatedly, and/or pulling at clothes and blankets, or trying to XXX sheets or blankets on the chest and abdomen to name a few. This is a necessary process, and once that phase is complete death will be eminent and that process will begin. Best of luck to you and your family. Your mother's suffering is about to end but for the family, yours is about to begin, Carm RN.

      almost 4 years ago
    • SueRae1's Avatar
      SueRae1

      Make sure that the hospital is giving her enough pain medication. many doctors and institutions still don't do that, for many reasons, which we won't get into at this point. Let her know that you are there and how much you love her. Give her permission to leave and not hold on to the pain. If you can afford it, and you can find one, hire a nurse that specializes in hospice end of life issues. Both my father and mother-in-law received palliative hospice care in the hospital.

      almost 4 years ago
    • AlizaMLS's Avatar
      AlizaMLS

      Dear Kinereth,

      Hi, I'm Aliza and I'm a Medical Librarian. I'm retired, but still do research for people, even for people on this site. I researched for you re hospices in Mexico and found the following URL: http://www.hospicesma.org/services.php . It is a hospice service located in Mexico. I think that it is a service that provides hospice service in different locales rather than a specific hospice located in one place, but you will have to check with them. I can't do further research for you because they request specifics about the patient and the treating physician(s)

      Carm is perhaps the best resource on this site for what should be done for a patient medically. We're lucky to have him as an advisor! I'm sure the advice he gave you is excellent. I hope your mother is able to be pain free soon, hospice or not. If you do research the hospice option further, and it is helpful, please take a moment to let me know. I'll give you my personal email. I keep a list of resources available for the time when this site will be able to offer that as an inclusive feature. Thank you and I hope your mother gets through this difficult time as peacefully as she can and I wish you and your family to go from strength to strength.

      Warmest Wishes,
      AlizaMLS

      almost 4 years ago
    • moxie's Avatar
      moxie

      Ditto to what Carm posted and, to which I would add...singing to her softly favorite familiar songs; reading to her from a favorite book; keeping lights low and minimum noise and confusion in the air. Creating a safe and calm atmosphere. This brings rest to the soul. May God be with all of you.

      almost 4 years ago
    • AlizaMLS's Avatar
      AlizaMLS

      Kinereth,

      I agree with what Moxie told you. We had my mother in hospice for a month (she'd suffered a Cerebral Hemorrhage and had a DNR [the hospital wanted to transfer her from where we live to a major Manhattan hospital for useless brain surgery which I decided against {because if she ever regained consciousness she still wouldn't have been able to speak or walk}]), but when I, my brother and my daughter visited her (each 3 x daily) in the hospital we each read to her from a favorite book of hers, a funny book that I bought her titled "I Feel Bad About My Neck" by Nora Ephron. It's about the pitfalls of growing old. I heard sometime last year that sadly Ms. Ephron whose works I've enjoyed, died from some type of cancer. My brother, daughter and I each alternated our visiting times, so she'd in effect have 9 visits/day and since she was in hospice we could go at any time which was good for me -I'm a night person by nature. We held her hand and stroked her arms and hugged and kissed her and I'm sure that she at least heard familiar voices through her coma so it was comforting for us as well.

      almost 4 years ago

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