• How to politely ask sister in law to not bring her sick kids to my house for Thanksgiving?

    Asked by dollymama on Tuesday, November 24, 2015

    How to politely ask sister in law to not bring her sick kids to my house for Thanksgiving?

    I have an In-Law with 3 kids that are always snotty nosed and sick with something, nobody seems to think it's a big deal for them to be around me while I'm recovering from treatment. How can I ask them to stay home or not be around me until I get better? This is going to cause problems I just know it.

    11 Answers from the Community

    11 answers
    • gonewest's Avatar

      That's a tough one. How to not offend someone who doesn't care if the cancer patient can become extremely ill from exposure to sick people during or right after treatment. Hmmm. I hope somebody can come up with something. I guess I'd send a multi-recipient email explaining this and asking for understanding. Best.

      about 4 years ago
    • geekling's Avatar

      It is actually quite simple.

      Either you cancel your own holiday plans (May I assume this is a holiday you are hosting?) or tell her, point blank, you look forward to seeing her next year when you are well The easiest way, of course, is to get your doctor to write a note, and ask her to research "germ theory" if she is hurt.

      about 4 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar

      I think it's easy. In case she doesn't remember, say "Just a reminder, my doctor has told me not to be around anyone who's sick because my resistance is down due to cancer treatments." (If people complain, suggest someone else should have the family to eat.) On the other hand, a clear runny nose is probably due to allergies with no infection.

      In my family we have an agreement not to go around our elderly parents with any sick kids. Besides that, people who work don't need to catch anything either. Happy Thanksgiving!

      about 4 years ago
    • geekling's Avatar

      Sorries, that went off before I was done. I did not mean to sound quite so cold but you really do need to stand firm on this if this is how you feel. Nobody wants to risk life and limb for a meal or gathering. I am quite disappointed that your immediate family doesnt back you on this.

      It was, perhaps, an error on your part to have a gathering at your place. If this woman is as careless of your health as you describe, there wont be any way to really enforce this pleasantly but, relate that what, to her kids, might be a mild sniffle, would sent you for hospitalization because the cancer treatments destroy the immune system as the theory is that killing the cancer will allow a purposely immune compromised patient to rebuild his or herself.

      Good luck on this one. Act fast to get a doctors note :) .Happy holiday.

      about 4 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar

      The truth is always the best.....Or get a note from your Doctor....lol

      about 4 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar

      You must take care of your health. Most people know it would be rude to (if not right down cruel) to expose a sick person to germs. Write her a note saying the because of your fragile condition people with illness are not invited. If she appears at the door with infected children she should be firmly turned away. If you could offer to have her wait while you prepare a take out bag.

      about 4 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar

      If you ask that they not come over because you are recuperating I think that is understandable. But I don't think you can ask any parent not to bring their kids..That would be hurtful to anyone.

      So just stay home with your immediate family..anyone can understand this.

      When people don't wash their hands and their children are not taught to wash their hands and use tissue properly and to cover their cough and sneezes with the elbow then you have sick kids. Everyone who enters my home must wash their hands..its that simple.

      about 4 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      I have had some people that just didn't get it, they thought because I looked Ok, that it was ok to be around me sneezing and acting like I was a "normal" person. I don't think the average person understands. I'm with the others that say just ask them to not come if anyone is sick, surely they can understand that.

      about 4 years ago
    • IronMom45's Avatar

      I agree with Greg. Most people not in health care and even a few that are in medical care are not aware. So I would just say sorry I love you but I'm unable to be around anyone even with a cold. And people may or may not listen. I've asked a friend to leave that came over and her kids were sick. Yes just oh I'm sorry I'm going to have to ask you to leave you obviously sick. My body can't handle this. She is a real friend so understood. So hope your family friends do too.

      about 4 years ago
    • cam32505's Avatar

      Well, for me, I had radioactive iodine. It was dangerous for people to be around me. But, hey all are welcome. My sister had to drive me to the appt. She put me in the backseat of my own car, on the passenger side, so that I would be seated as far away as possible for her. She didn't even want to take me in my own car! That's one way to lose friends and family fast!

      about 4 years ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar

      I am so not politically correct that I would probably just blurt it out ... "My immune system is severely compromised. People who are sick, including children, can make others in the gathering sick. Me? Those same diseases that are an inconvenience to most can land me in the hospital or the grave. Please be considerate and if you or any of your family is sick, stay home until you are well."

      about 4 years ago

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