• How to reveal mastectomies

    Asked by Snooks on Wednesday, January 16, 2013

    How to reveal mastectomies

    I was happily married when I had my mastectomies and I had no desire to go through reconstruction and my husband was happy with my decision. However, now he has passed away and if/when I ever start dating, how does one go about revealing something so personal?

    3 Answers from the Community

    • TinaJacques' Avatar
      TinaJacques

      This is a hard question to answer, and as someone who has not suffered from breast cancer, I am probably not the most qualified to answer but I thought I might give it a go anyway...

      Getting back into the dating world is challenging for anyone, but more so for a woman who has been through what you have, to say the least. When the time comes and you've met a man that you feel comfortable with, obviously at some point you'll have a talk with him about the battle that you fought with breast cancer and how you had a double mastectomy. If he runs at that point, it'll sting, but he isn't worth your time. If he understands and he still sticks around (which I assume any good man would!) then I doubt he would run when he sees you undressed for the first time. If it takes you a while to become comfortable, you can still be intimate - just keep your bra (assuming you've got one of those special padded bras for women who've had mastectomies) on or your XXX on the first few times.

      I know it can't be easy but any man who doesn't want to be with you because you don't have breasts isn't worth being with. xox

      over 4 years ago
    • TinaJacques' Avatar
      TinaJacques

      Oh my goodness! It seems I forgot to type the R in SHIRT and it got bleeped out :|

      over 4 years ago
    • JennyMiller's Avatar
      JennyMiller

      When you meet someone, I would give it a little time for you to get to know him and for him to get to know you. At the point where you think the relationship has a chance to grow, I would inform him. There is no sense in sharing such personal information at the beginning if you are not even sure if there is going to be a future with this person. By waiting, it also gives him a chance to get to know the real you so that he will be able to see past your revelation. If there is a true connection, your news will create a bond rather than distance. Good Luck!

      over 4 years ago

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