• I am a new caregiver. My dear husband was unexpectedly diagnosed through emergency surgery with Stage IV Colon Cancer on Dec 14.

    Asked by Barb_TX on Wednesday, January 16, 2013

    I am a new caregiver. My dear husband was unexpectedly diagnosed through emergency surgery with Stage IV Colon Cancer on Dec 14.

    Any thoughts on how we can get through this stage would be soooo appreciated. Thank you.

    9 Answers from the Community

    9 answers
    • Giraffe's Avatar

      Welcome to the site. Participation here will get you connected with members with the same diagnosis. You will find it extremely useful, informative and easy to use. You will soon see you are not alone.

      over 7 years ago
    • carm's Avatar

      Barb, I can imagine that both of you must be devastated and my thoughts are with you both. I am an oncology/end of life nurse and I can tell you that sometimes stage IV seems scary but it gets that rating from its location. It might be only one tiny lesion easily conquered by a chemo but it must be staged high only becaue it is in a location far from the primary site. There are so many new options available of late. May I suggest that you go to a website called chemotherapyadvisor.com? It is free to join and on the homepage to the right side half way down, you will find a section called cancers and their regimens. You will see what is used, the doses, and you will learn the side effects. I would also suggest that you sign up for your free subscription of Cure magazine at www.mycure.com and they will send you a booklet with your first issue that is called a toolkit with valuable resources. I refer to it often when I have patients who have insurance or financial issues. Try to remember that this is a disease, do not give this disease more power than it has. Ask questions to your doc and become an active member of your health care team. Ask your doc for a rationale for whatever he suggests so that you will get a better handle on why you need what he suggests. Empower yourself with knowledge. Cancer is a life changing chronic disease, but it need not be a terminal one. Just something you will have to adjust to like a diabetic who has to change their lifestyle to accomodate their disease. Best of luck to you and I am here if you need anything. There are many here who are willing to share their experience with you both, their input is so valuable. They will tell you what to expect and how to manage side effects. Just remember that all medical questions or explanations should be directed to health care professionals as each cancer is like a fingerprint, no two are seldom identical, and only those who know your disease know what is best for you. Any questions regarding the pathophysiology of the disease should be directed to them and use this site for guidance and most importantly, support. My best to you, Carm.

      over 7 years ago
    • RobbieFlores' Avatar

      I felt that the more information that I was given the better I was able to deal with everything. I'm also Stage 4. I've had chemo, radiation plus chemo and then surgery. Now I'm doing more chemo. It's been a year ago that I was diagnosed. Ask questions. It's true. You're not alone.

      over 7 years ago
    • Lavonne's Avatar

      Barb...I have been fighting this monster with my sister in law who has stage IV metasized colon cancer for 2 yrs and 8mths and as a care giver it is so true that you need to be well informed. Use the internet to do lots of research to stay informed and take lots of notes with the Doctor. Always be prepared. Always keep a positive attitude and know God can do amazing things. The Doctors never know a time frame only God.

      over 7 years ago
    • ticklingcancer's Avatar

      Information is key. Gather as much as you can. Research clinical trials. Get multiple opinions. All of these things may prove beneficial to your situation. Anytime you have something you don't understand, let us know here on WhatNext. There's tons of knowledge on here from folks battling colon cancer of all stages. I wish you the best!!

      over 7 years ago
    • SueRae1's Avatar

      My heart and prayers go out to you and your DH. You are both processing a lot right now and it will take awhile to get through it all, and into a "regular routine". This is normal, it's normal to be angry depressed, etc. The two of you should try to form a collaborative relationship with your oncology teams, if you feel like you need one get a 2nd opinion, another set of eyes on the issue is never a bad thing. Barb, don't try to be a hero, you need as much, if not more support then your DH. Being a caregiver is hard. Start talking to friends and family and see what help they can offer. Ask the social services department of where your husband is being treated what they help you with. Transportation, financial aide, someone to talk to etc. Good luck, and remember we are here to help and support the two of you.

      over 7 years ago
    • Harry's Avatar

      This is difficult. I wish you the best. I agree with those who say that getting as much information as possible is one of your best coping mechanisms and the other is realizing that your role as care giver can be as difficult as that of the patient. Not the same role, but not an easy one.

      While I join in recommending getting as much information as possible, including info off the Internet, I should add that some of it is scarier than it need be--particularly mortality statistics. They are always out of date.

      over 7 years ago
    • Peroll's Avatar

      Barb, Welcome to WhatNext. I understand your feelings as I too have stage IV colon cancer. I have been fighting mine for 8 1/2 years. I know thing feel bleak now but the cancer can be beat. I also know that cancer is often harder for the caregiver than the patient. If you needhelp from aother caregiver you should look yp my wife who goes by Queen Tatiana here on WhatNext. As the others have already noted doing research learning about cancer and cancer treatments and asking questions are all very important. You also need to develop a good working relationship with your Drs and be able to talk to them, ask questions and get answers you can and do understand. The people here can help you learn how to do this and help you learn all you need to know. Just let us now how we can help you. Good Luck!!!

      over 7 years ago
    • alivenwell's Avatar

      Take it one day at a time.

      over 7 years ago

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