• I am in a phase of this diagnosis that is familiar. I had this going on during my last one.

    Asked by GregP_WN on Saturday, December 14, 2019

    I am in a phase of this diagnosis that is familiar. I had this going on during my last one.

    I am in a phase where when I am watching TV I look at people on the screen that are shown going through their lives being happy and enjoying life. Maybe they are successful people with nice car and house and the perfect family. I look at them and think to myself "sure, but you don't have to worry about if your cancer will be controlled, or if you'll even be alive next year."

    I have anger, mixed with a little depression, with a touch of jealousy all mixed in.

    Anybody else have this sort of thing?

    13 Answers from the Community

    13 answers
    • Molly72's Avatar
      Molly72

      Success Greg, is not necessarily a fancy-schmacy house & car. Or even a supposed "perfect" family.

      I think you, even with all the cancers and such that you have so bravely put up with, are more of a success than all that material wealth. You have helped many here get through their hard times and believe me that is more important in the long run than a new Mercedes.

      about 1 month ago
    • BobbyZ's Avatar
      BobbyZ

      I have a version of that. Mine is more self centered thinking why do I have to go through this.

      about 1 month ago
    • Bengal's Avatar
      Bengal

      Yeah, I see people!e either on TV or just in real life going about their merry lives and sometimes it does upset me even though there's no reason it should. It's certainly not THEIR fault they DON'T have cancer. I think it's the ole "why is this happening to ME?" syndrome. I guess I am envious of their freedom, for want of a better word, to just carry on and the fact that for the most part they're clueless to what they have. I've been having some "why me" moments this weekend for reasons I don't really undetstand. Maybe the combination of the holidays and my seasonal affect. But the next person who says "suck it up and deal" better stay out of myway.

      about 1 month ago
    • beachbum5817's Avatar
      beachbum5817

      I am in complete agreement with you, Greg. It isn't just TV that can make me feel this way. It is also real life. I get tired of people making a mountain out of a molehill. I find myself thinking, I wish you could walk a mile in my shoes. Of course, it gets me nowhere, so I try to not dwell on it.

      about 1 month ago
    • Jouska's Avatar
      Jouska

      I have had some of that feeling, so I totally get it. But I also know that things are not necessarily what they seem. We never really know anyone else's lives and we certainly don't know someone else's struggles. If having cancer taught me nothing else, it taught me not to assume and to always be kind. It also taught me that most people have no clue about what I am or was going through. Even some friends or family just couldn't get it. Others, of course, were amazing in their support. But that is what makes a group like this so important and helpful. To a person, this group understands what we go through with our diagnosis, our treatment, our healing, our worries and our fears. Very grateful for this group

      about 1 month ago
    • MerryMaid's Avatar
      MerryMaid

      I have those feelings too. I have the demons in my mind that won't let me think about my life in a positive light when I see certain things. I don't want their house, car, or material things. I just want to be a happy person with no worries like those on TV are portrayed to be. I am plenty positive and happy for the most part. But for a certain amount of time each day I can't help but fall off the happy train.

      about 1 month ago
    • msesq's Avatar
      msesq

      I totally agree, after the shock of diagnosis wore off I was mad as XXX. Why me, why do people with unhealthy lifestyles not get cancer. I got over the anger by journaling and meditation.

      about 1 month ago
    • msesq's Avatar
      msesq

      PS it also made me aware that material things or career success don’t mean anything if you don’t have your health.

      about 1 month ago
    • JaneA's Avatar
      JaneA

      The big reality that we learn from our cancer diagnosis is that no amount of money or fame can keep you from getting cancer or prevent you from dying of cancer. Just think of Steve Jobs, Paul Allen (co-founder of Microsoft), and David Koch, the world's 11th richest man.

      I've learning that feeling good when you wake up in the morning is the best gift of all. Because when you feel good, you can address any situation that presents itself. As you already know, the feelings that you are experiencing are normal. Any cancer diagnosis is tough, but this one is really tough.

      about 1 month ago
    • Dkatsmeow's Avatar
      Dkatsmeow

      More than I like. My trigger is people eating food. I told my doctor I don't eat, I feed. My daughter thinks this is too vampirish. Anyway I am permanently on a feeding tube & will never be able to swallow again. So being around people eating gets me to hating!

      about 1 month ago
    • BugsBunny's Avatar
      BugsBunny

      I get that feeling you're having. I think I have something similar. I get worked up over people that go on and on about how bad they feel because of a runny nose, cold, or flu and are asking for prayers that they "get through it". I want to slap them and hand them a bag of cancer and ask them to deal with this for just one day, then let me know how tough you have it going on today.

      about 1 month ago
    • Kebohs' Avatar
      Kebohs

      It’s natural to think that way when all you see are those happy commercials. They try to influence us so much and it’s all so fake. Those actors have real lives too with all the sorrows and hardships and illnesses we have. I had those thoughts too.

      about 1 month ago
    • Lynne-I-Am's Avatar
      Lynne-I-Am

      I certainly worried about whether or not I would be here next year. At one time I worried about next month. I did not have this emotion while watching TV though. Did not identify personally with anything on TV. TV , for me, was a diversion from what was going on in real life. I remember the anger and the depression all too well. Heck , my doctor put me on an antidepressant. I do not recall feeling jealousy though, just gratitude that I had my husband to help me through it all.

      about 1 month ago

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