• ayr's Avatar

    I am so depressed can anyone help

    Asked by ayr on Sunday, May 19, 2013

    I am so depressed can anyone help

    23 Answers from the Community

    23 answers
    • SandiD's Avatar

      I am sorry to hear this. It sure is easy to get depressed when we have a serious illness! Have you told your oncologist? They would want to know. Also most cancer centers have social workers than help you get help too. Just know you are not alone and there is help out there! Never give up. I wish you the best.❤

      over 3 years ago
    • carm's Avatar

      I am an oncology nurse nurse and if I can be of any service to you, use me. Carm RN.

      over 3 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      Sorry your feeling down right now. Just tell us what you would like to discuss, lots will be happy to talk with you.

      over 3 years ago
    • Nomadicme's Avatar

      I am sorry to hear. Do get mental health support. In my case it wasn't available through my oncologist (he said most patients get depressed), but through a psychiatrist.

      Another thing that helps is going to cancer support meetings through the American Cancer Society (let me know if I can help you find a meeting).

      Remember, you're not the first person to go through this, and you're not alone.

      over 3 years ago
    • Clyde's Avatar

      My thoughts are with you. Call your onc's office and ask for a list of people they can refer you too to talk too. What you are feeling is totally normal and can be dealt with. If you feel the need, don't tell anyone that you are doing this. It can be completely private.

      Whenever I start to get down, I think of others who are so much worse off than I am (people in war torn Africa for instance--I'm fighting a disease, they are fighting a far worse enemy). I would think we all have a defense mech that we rely on. You just need to find yours.

      over 3 years ago
    • geekling's Avatar

      Yes. There is someone who can help.

      That person is you.

      Everything is about perception.

      I'm not saying this isn't the worst (almost worst) thing anyone ought to be asked to bear but I am saying there are ways to get through this gray zone. I don't want to tell you about my experience because you don't need to live up to or down to anyone else.

      You need to breathe. Yoga (which I don't expect you to be able to practice at current) is all about breathing. The pretzel twisting is secondary to relearning how to breathe deeply enough to all points of the body so as to (mildly) make a dent in the pain and calm down the soul. You/your body is, after all, just an oxygen machine. Breathe in from your belly (under the diaphragm) and not just from your shoulders and send the deep breaths to the points where you need it most. Hold for 3-5 seconds and then exhale. Doing this repeatedly will calm you and leave you either less depressed or wih a desire to take action against the depression which is, after all, just the internalized face of anger..

      While you are breathing consciously and deeply, lots of thoughts will pop into your head. Examine them but do not take hold. Let them pass by your mind's eye like so many pictures on a movie screen. No matter how important it may seem, let that thought go. Another will follow. No matter how it seems, no one thought is more important than any other. Let them all roll by like clouds do when you lay down on the grass to watch them roll by. 10-20 minutes a day of this will calm you. more can't hurt.

      Make sure to stay hydrated and please remember that you submitted to this because you were promised life. Learn to cry and to hug yourself if you feel there is no one else. Understand that no one can go though what is happening to you without some unhappiness and very strong .. the word the docs use is "discomfort". If you can't be still, move around. If you can't be quiet, moan as you need.

      over 3 years ago
    • geekling's Avatar

      And now I am going to tell you one of only two cancer jokes I know.

      Perhaps you remember when the young, virile, handsome and well paid actor Owen Wilson tried to commit suicide?

      The story was on the TV in the waiting room of a hospital cancer radiation center. Two patients were watching.

      The first patient said "I wish I had his money."

      The second patient said "I wish I had his problems."

      Ba dum chang. :-) Feel better.

      over 3 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar

      Try watching the sunrise (tell you will go back to bed as soon as the sunrises however I bet you won't)

      over 3 years ago
    • Vjp2012's Avatar

      I am sorry you are so depressed. I can completely understand. I was very depressed this past Wednesday. I thought I'd never stop crying. But, I made the choice o not give in to my sadness. I am going to see a therapist & in he meantime, I pray, pray and pray. My faith keeps me grounded, but I must work on it all he time. You can do this! If you pray, pray. If pu ont pray, just try it. And, Monday, look ino getting an appointment with a therapist. Hang in there!

      over 3 years ago
    • CrazyHarry's Avatar

      Must be something in the air. I've been super sad these past few days myself. Got a UTi and my ileostomy stopped working most of yesterday. Plus, I'm feeling like XXX this past week. Got more complaints but since I only have less than 3 hours until tomorrow, I'm getting prepped for a much better day. Hoping you have a better day tomorrow like myself.

      over 3 years ago
    • BeckyTice's Avatar

      I'm depressed too. I figured it out. I don't like being dependent on other people. It's bad enough to be dependent on the professionals and the insurance company whims... but I'm dependent on my family and that is hurting them as well as me. They are being great... but I can see the hurt and fear. That's getting me worse.

      No one can get us through this depression but ourselves. If it's a chemical thing, you might want to see a psychiatrist that specializes with cancer patients so the drugs don't interfere with your treatments. If it's totally emotional you might be able to handle it in group therapy.

      Keep a journal. Put it down in writing. Sometimes writing it down and then giving it away helps.

      over 3 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar

      For me reading the post about a child with brain cancer kicks the self pity and depression feelings right out of me. How dare I wonder "Why me". I would rather have it be"Me " than any child.

      I watched my sister suffer through cancer and it about killed me.. Far worse than what I have been through and I have been through a lot.

      Call upon your inner power.. call upon your faith and pray for help and direction on your journey.

      Then take good care of yourself. Go easy on yourself.

      over 3 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar

      I have Seasonal Adjustment Disorder. There have been events in my life that have triggered fullblown depression. The events have been "abuse in the workplace", sexual assalt, and death of my father. Ironically the cancer diagnosis did not trigger depression. I have found that sunshine works great for depression. So my advice is get out your hat and sunglasses and long sleeved shirt. ( I know if you have had radiation and chemo you have to protect your self from the sun) and get out doors.

      over 3 years ago
    • BobbyG's Avatar

      OK, here it is: I went to a Masters Psychologist for an emotional evaluation. Due to my current emotional state. For my visit I had decided to wear shorts I had made from cellophane. Upon my arrival at the therapist's office the therapist remarked, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts".

      I hope that helped. I try to keep my sense of humor through the roughest times. The initial realization of a cancer diagnosis can take some time to fully set in. That is how it went with me. I cried frequently and heavily when alone. I felt the I had received a death sentence with a stage 4 renal cell diagnosis. Well, I have since found out that with the proper treatment and lifestyle adjustments including diet, physical and emotional activity. I can mitigate the emotional stress of living with the disease.

      Try to remember that we all are up and down emotionally throughout our lives. However we are never one or the other for very long.

      Just look at this community. We are ready to do what ever we are able to help one another in times of despair. Enjoy the community here. I found them two weeks ago and I find my self returning with greater frequency to give and receive support.

      Here's to you and the better days to come. (the sound of clinking water glasses)

      over 3 years ago
    • SueRae1's Avatar

      Hugs. Speak with you oncology team ASAP and let them know what is going on, ask them for a Pharma referral with someone who specializes in treating people with cancer, I did that, an am taking low levels of Lexapro and Xanax, which really help take the edge off. In addition ask for a recommendation for a therapist as well - it can be the same person who is your pharma consult. You need to be able to talk about your feelings with someone who understands how treatment effects every aspect of your life, and help you work through the anger, depression, etc that comes with treatment. I am very fortunate that I qualified for a free 12 week program run my the hospital l that I am being treated at. My therapist was wonderful and really helped me deal with and prioritize my day to day issues, etc.

      best of luck.

      over 3 years ago
    • punker1976's Avatar

      think about all the good things in your life and hold on to that like a life raft. if you stay depressed you will just drag yourself even further down. surround yourself with friends and family that really care for you.......you will feel better

      over 3 years ago
    • carolynm's Avatar

      Realizing that my diagnosis meant that I would probably die much earlier than expected, I started seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist right away. I wanted to discuss my fears, feelings and concerns with a psychology professional, not my family and friends. Thinking positive and realizing that there others worse off did not help, especially when you feel like XXX and are still in disbelief that you have cancer and your life is changing forever. Fortunately, the depression was diagnosed and I was prescribed antidepressants. Had I been healthy, I would have looked for others means of counteracting the depression. But being in chemo and dealing with all the issues, I opted for drugs. I feel much better, I am more accepting of the changes, I focus on things or people that bring me pleasure and my life is not all doom and gloom. Hope this helps.

      over 3 years ago
    • Rosa's Avatar

      Give yourself the opportunity of feeling sad, but don't stay there. Shortly after I was diagnosed with stage II colorectal cancer, my sister in law told me: "Cry whenever you feel like crying, you are entitled to it." I did cry (in the shower so nobody would see or hear me).
      After that, go on. Read something light, funny, watch movies, comedies, go out, breath fresh air, speak with people who understand what you are going through.
      Think positive, believe that you can beat this. Be assured that whatever you are going through will pass, you will feel better.

      If you believe in prayer, pray, pray, pray. It helps so much. Whenever I was receiving radiation, I would pray: "Please Lord direct this ray to the tumor and destroy it. Let your merciful hand cover and protect all my organs and healthy cells so that they won't be harmed by the radiation."

      The combination of the 3 treatments I was receiving (Oxaliplatin, Xeloda 500, and radiation) had me with severe colics and heavy diarrhea. What came out of my body felt like lava, so I would ask the Lord to wash away the tumor with the lava.

      All together, treatment and prayer worked. My tumor disappeared without surgery and I am cancer free.

      Be positive, hopeful

      over 3 years ago
    • Eps23's Avatar

      I go through bouts of depression as well. The best thing is to go on an antidepressant. When my dad was diagnosed with stage stage four stomach cancer his oncologist immediately put him on a mild antidepressant. You need something to take the edge off. I received my diagnosis after I had already been taking my "happy pills" . Thank God for those pills. Can you speak to a friend or clergyman? It's normal to be depressed. This was definately not part of my plan! Sometimes I will set a time limit and revel in a pity party for the day, knowing tomorrow morning I suck it up and am thankful it has been found and I am getting treatment. Good luck

      over 3 years ago
    • KateMarie's Avatar

      Lots of great suggestions here, so I will just send you a giant cyber hug. Drop me a line anytime if you want to talk. The more support you get in different forms, the stronger you will feel. :)

      over 3 years ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

      Always remember that you will get lots of support here. As you can see, there are already 20 responses, because we care. I wish peace for you.

      over 3 years ago
    • mistymaggie's Avatar

      Think only good thoughts and think of your loved ones-Think that you wilol be the winner of this race and NO ONE will tell you any differantly-God Speed-Prayer Worlks

      over 3 years ago
    • penny364's Avatar

      I hope things are better for you today and that you've found a trusted friend or professional to talk to about how you're feeling. In the meantime, I always figure laughter is indeed the best medicine. I found some old Carol Burnett videos on YouTube that never fail to crack me up. You might try these. Paste this link into your browser and see if they don't make you at least smile!


      Hope this helps you a bit. Best wishes!

      over 3 years ago

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