• I am upset and concerned if my brother takes treatment or if he decides not to. I just want him to make the right decsion. how can I help?

    Asked by jennjd00 on Friday, February 1, 2013

    I am upset and concerned if my brother takes treatment or if he decides not to. I just want him to make the right decsion. how can I help?

    7 Answers from the Community

    7 answers
    • Peroll's Avatar

      You can't make the decsion for him, he has to dothat himself. I assume that he is scared of the side effects and the impact on quality of life. These are valid concerns and you should aknowledge that. The most important thing you can do for him is to make sure he has and understands all of the facts about his condition and th treatment options. If you can go to the Dr appointments with him and encourage him to use sites like this one where he can talk to people with similar cases. If he has and undrstands all of the information he will make the right decision. Good luck

      over 3 years ago
    • carm's Avatar

      Peroll is right. You can educate him on his options but the choice is his to make. Once he makes it, your job is to support his decision. I am willing to bet that he would do the same for you, and you have that right to expect that from him if the roles were reversed. Best of luck to you both, Carm RN.

      over 3 years ago
    • nancyjac's Avatar

      What ever decision he makes will be the right one for him, whether or not you agree with it. Provide him with whatever support he needs for whatever decisions he makes.

      over 3 years ago
    • ticklingcancer's Avatar

      You can help by supporting his decision. He's in a tough sopt and has quite a few things to consider. One thing you can do, a couple of others mentioned this as well, you can help to educate him on the facts. But when it comes down to it...you have to be there for him regardless of what he decides.

      over 3 years ago
    • JoLoaretti's Avatar

      it is his Life, his choice, but information given gently often can help, dont force anything, but you can give your opinion just notice if it feels like he wants it, if it feels forced back off. often so many things are lost while battling cancer, virility, manhood, one of the only things they get to keep is their own decisions. good luck

      over 3 years ago
    • Jo96822's Avatar

      My mother faced a similar decision last month as to whether to stop treatment or continue. She was told that her only option was a stem cell transplant and there were quality of life issues. My father and brother told her that if she stopped, it would be similar to giving up. But, I told her that as much as I would like her to continue the battle it was ultimately her choice. I can't imagine what she is going through. However, I wanted her to know that whatever her decision, I would support her. Sometimes there is so much information it is overwhelming. It was helpful that I went with my parents to their "decision making" appointments where the information was provided about their options. We would "sleep" on it and then discuss what the journey would be like if she made certain decisions. I noticed my mother and father sometimes would shut down and not listen to the doctors after a certain point perhaps because of fatigue or news that they didn't want to hear. It helps to have another person in the room to ask the questions and remember what was discussed. He will make the decision that is the right one for him. I wish you and your brother the best.

      over 3 years ago
    • jennjd00's Avatar

      Thank you all so much for you responses. 6 weeks ago my brother entered the hospital and decided to begin his journey with chemo. It certainly has been an up and down road for him and for our family. His RBC continues to be around 0.1-0.2 which I am sure most of you know is very low. He has had brain fog, breathing issues, urinary issues, heart issues. His 2 ports got infected and had to be removed and a PIC line has been put in. He has been in isolation for weeks. I know he must be going stir crazy being in the hospital so long. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how we can get him some help maybe from someone who has been through what he is going through. Perhaps get him in a wheelchair and suit him up and take him for a daily walk through the hospital or something. I just keep thinking what next, what next?

      over 3 years ago

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