• I got pregnant, lost my baby, lost my boyfriend, and then was diagnosed with cervical cancer.

    Asked by Julianna on Thursday, February 21, 2013

    I got pregnant, lost my baby, lost my boyfriend, and then was diagnosed with cervical cancer.

    My mom is here for me, but how do I cope with so much loss AND the prospect of a radical hysterectomy on top of that?

    7 Answers from the Community

    7 answers
    • Nancebeth's Avatar

      I am so sorry for all you have gone through. I lost my brother to suicide, 6 months later my mom to cancer and then I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to undergo a bilateral mastectomy. It was very difficult to deal with everytyhing, one right after the other and having no family to support me. However, I se a therapist who specializes in grief couseling and he has been very helpful. In addition, I finally found a support group that I feel comfortable with and have been attending their meetings which are very helpful as well.
      When I ahve a question or concern, I come on this site and post my question and receive so much support here as well. You are not alone and there are many people who want to help and will help. Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask.
      I remember crying hysterically because I had to ask my friend to wash my hair after my surgery when I couldn't lift my arms. He asked me why I was crying and I told him it was because I was ashamed to ask him to do that for me. He told me I was being silly for crying, we were friends and he would do anything for me. And he did.
      Be strong. Cancer sucks but it is not the end of the world and you WILL get through it.

      over 7 years ago
    • hogfan03's Avatar

      I am single, no kids, no boyfriend and diagnosed with cervical cancer and having a radical hysterectomy. I cried everyday and still do. My surgery is scheduled for Monday. I have a wonderful network of family and friends who help emphasize the most important thing - I am going to survive!! There are also other options for kids which are surrogacy and or adoption and one of these days I will find my Mr. Right. You have to keep telling yourself that if you have to focus on the positives and not the negative because at this time it is so easy to think negatively.....and there are several times I am reminded of this by my friends and family. I wish you the best and will keep you on my prayers.

      over 7 years ago
    • KimmieJo's Avatar

      I agree with Nancebeth - don't be afraid to ask for help. Many time our friends are more than willing to help - they just don't know what to do. So speak out and let them know what they can do to help you - even if it is just to listen while you talk about it. I also believe that therapy really does hlep - I have been doing thereapy throughout my 1st recurrance and it had helped me SO much!

      over 7 years ago
    • Julianna's Avatar

      Thanks ladies, I appreciate your answers and thoughts. It helps to know that someone else has been here too.
      I will get through it!

      over 7 years ago
    • Carol-Charlie's Avatar

      I just wanted to give you a glimmer of....HOPE... My step-daughter could not have children. She and the love of her life adopted the most beautiful little baby boy from Catholic Charities in MN. Our first Grandson. A Joy to love - cuddle - and watch grow to manhood. His little brother arrived about four years later he too is a miracle for this family.... A few years ago a beutiful ittle girl arrived... a great grand daughter. I know for a fact that the saying is true. "You did not grow beneath my heart, but in it!" I didn't recognize my son when he was born, I'd never seen him before.... but I reached out and touched him.... He was my beloved son from that momment on. I have three wonderful sons. 20 grandchildren and 2 great grand children. I have their pix on the wall in our family room. No one can point out who is adopted, who is step, only that we have beautiful children!!!!!!

      over 7 years ago
    • Tracy's Avatar

      I echo what these other loving ladies have said, you never know what life has in store but you do have love. I met my husband after I had given up on finding him, he gave me a ready made family. You never know what is around the next corner until you get there. Take a deep breath and hang on. Take care of yourself - Tracy

      over 7 years ago
    • sgmom's Avatar

      I'm so sorry for everything you're having to endure. It took me a while before I could go 24-hours without a crying breakdown after my diagnosis which was compounded with my mom living with hospice care for her lung metastasized pancreatic cancer. I found that letting go and having your friends help you through the process helps so much. I'm independent to a fault but I knew I couldn't get through this alone. Accepting the help that your friends will offer is immeasurable. Also, joining a support group will help sort out the feelings of being alone - which you are not!

      I'm 12-days post-op for a lapro radical hysterectomy with lymph mode dissection. As everyone told me, you make it out to be worse in your head. In hindsight, the hyst didn't even come close to being as bad as I thought it would be. Meditation has really helped center myself with the overwhelming emotions of everything. If you're open to it, I suggest giving it a shot.

      over 7 years ago

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