• I have always been an extremely positive person and when it came time to fight cancer it was no different.

    Asked by CancerChicky on Monday, August 19, 2019

    I have always been an extremely positive person and when it came time to fight cancer it was no different.

    I have been positive all the way through my own fight. I am also positive in trying to support and cheer someone else through theirs. But, I have one friend who's wife died from cancer a few years ago who always has something negative to say anytime I say something like "you will do this, you will make it to the other side"! He will always chime in with, but lots of people won't make it, not everyone is a survivor. etc. I love him to pieces but I just go crazy with his negativity.

    How do you handle someone who is so negative about everyone's chances of surviving? I understand he is bitter and mad about the whole cancer thing, he lost his beautiful wife. But he is just stuck in the negative mode and I am almost to the point of just unfriending him on FB and telling him that I can't deal with him or listen to his negative comments and attitude anymore.

    What would you do?

    3 Answers from the Community

    • JaneA's Avatar

      I have some negative people on FB too. They have been really good friends in the past, but they are negative about everything. Instead of unfriending him on FB, Unfollow them - you do that by going to their profile page - on the lower right side of their cover picture, there is a button that says FOLLOW - click on the little arrow beside "follow" and select unfollow.

      You won't see their posts and be exposed to their negativity. But they don't know that you have unfollowed them,

      I've done this with several people who are negative, hateful or political. And now my FB feed is just filled with positive friends. Your friend who lost his wife to cancer is going through a rough period in his life right now; in a year or two, he may come to terms with her death and be fine again.

      6 months ago
    • Boogerman's Avatar

      I have no time for people like that. I have just stopped associating with anyone that isn't on board with me. I'm not listening to anyone's crazy aunt Martha's sure-fire cancer killer, and I'm not going to go see any doctor that you think I should, so just STOP! I have found that my life runs so much smoother now since I've done a little friend purging, both on FB and in real life.

      6 months ago
    • IKickedIt's Avatar

      I distanced myself. I had one friend who was very sweet and called to check in on me, but the conversation always turned tow her cancer journey (which was difficult, but she has been cancer-free for many years) and her divorce which was more than 20 years earlier. She is just a person who needs to wallow in self-pity and complain that her situation was always worse than any one else's.

      I would let my answering machine pick up when she called, then I'd send her an email thanking her for her concern, and I'd give her a quick update. I had to keep her at a distance. When I was going through my cancer journey, I needed to stay focused on not only my physical health, but my emotional health, too, and I wouldn't let anyone drag me down.

      6 months ago

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