It's tough being a patient. I want to be so independent and do all I can for myself and I hate to ask for help. Most friends are more than happy to help, but usually in a way they want to. I had lots of friends offer me help but when I told them what I really need is help cleaning my apartment, no one helped out. Rides and food are easy but they stuff I really need, it's hard to find the help. And of course, I dont' want to be a burden and ask people who are already helping me to do something else.
I wonder if your husband is frustrated with helping out because he has some other feelings he's struggling to express and it comes out all wrong. Men can be like that! ;-)