• WhatNextEmails' Avatar

    I live alone and do not have a great support system.

    Asked by WhatNextEmails on Wednesday, February 20, 2013

    I live alone and do not have a great support system.

    I know I need to reach out, but with early menopause I am very moody and depressed most of the time. How do I force myself to find help?

    12 Answers from the Community

    12 answers
    • nancyjac's Avatar

      No really able to answer this question without knowing what the hindrance factors are and what kind of help your need....financial, logistical, emotional? Do you need info on where to look for help, how to approach friends and family?

      over 4 years ago
    • carm's Avatar

      You just did!! Many here have hearts abound and two shoulders...no waiting, to help you along this path. You force yourself by realizing that no one change can come about until you create it. You are putting your life on hold for this disease; recognize that it is biology and nothing more, so do not allow it anymore power than that. best of luck, Carm RN.

      over 4 years ago
    • ticklingcancer's Avatar

      Not sure what type of support you're looking for but this is a good place to start. So you have cancer? What are you going to do about it? Thats the question you have to ask yourself. Now is the time to fight. Make the decision to live. We can talk you through your treatment. Share stories of side effects. WhatNext is a place to come together to get through things like this. Lots of great people on here that are will to talk to you about anything you have on your mind. I'd love to know more about you and what and what type of cancer you're dealing with. Hope to talk to you soon!!

      over 4 years ago
    • fastdog's Avatar

      Cancer and menopause together, that's quite a one-two punch. There is help to be had here on WhatNext, of course, but without knowing more about your situation, I would just say at this point, you maybe need to take a deep breath and plan how you are going to deal with it all. You may start with a cancer support group through your local hospital, church, what have you. It's hard to be outgoing when you're depressed, so maybe also start with your general practicioner for some anti-depressant meds.

      over 4 years ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

      I also have no family in the area and my best friend is dealing w/Type 2 diabetes and problems w/meds for it, so I've been pretty much been alone, too. But for emotional support, this site as been wonderful. I wish you all the best!

      over 4 years ago
    • alivenwell's Avatar

      We're all here to listen and be your support system.
      Early menopause is definitely a hard adjustment, but if it's any consolation, every woman eventually hits menopause. It could be hormonal imbalances wrecking havoc with your depression.
      I've had a different situation, but found that walking the dog in my profile has helped tremendously. I had no idea that exercise could help life one's moods, but there are reasons: it decreases cortisol (stress hormone) and increases chemicals that make us feel good. Start with a good slow walk if it's OK with your doctor. Go at your own pace. Get a pet. They love you unconditionally.

      over 4 years ago
    • Carol-Charlie's Avatar

      Well here we are.... I see almost all of my friends here jumjped on already to let youknow your're alone. Well guess what???? YOU'RE NOT ALONE!!! We're here reading and willing to loan you a shoulder to cry on. Arms to cyber hug ((((Hug)))) and feet to happy dance. We can aim you are people and organizations offering services.... orrrrrrrrrrrrr what ever you may need at any given moment. Sign up, Share your story and Know that we are here!

      over 4 years ago
    • GypsyJule's Avatar

      My local hospital hosts a monthly cancer support group. After my surgeries, but before my chemo, I attended and the other members made me feel very welcome. I didn't feel like going through my chemo - it always seemed to land on a week when I had side effects, or lots of fatigue, but I started going again this month. You might check with your local ACS or your oncologist and find out if there is a support group in your area. Ours is very small, but the people have been wonderful. It's sometimes hard to open yourself up to strangers, but you'll see that they all understand you better than you might think. I hope you'll also find support from this site. The people here are wonderful, helpful, and understanding. Good luck to you!

      over 4 years ago
    • ElizaM's Avatar

      I certainly empathize - I'm in the same boat. Combined with persistent neuropathy in my feet it is extremely hard to get out and walk. Swimming is the best I can do in the way of exercise, but I do know exercise is a good mood up-lifter. I too am thoroughly alone having moved 2 and a half hours drive from my home of 30 years, to be closer to my son in the middle of treatment, but his life understandably doesn't really leave much room for me, and I'm lost without all my friends and support systems. I'm in an area that has provided drives to and from treatments, which was wonderful, but now I too am just trying to be patient and biding my time to get my strength back so I can move and become sociable again, but it IS very difficult. Cabin fever and depression have certainly been an issue for me, and I just have to have faith that it will shift eventually. Watching comedies on TV, and skyping with old friends are the two most effective mood enhancers for me. I'm with you and just want to say hang in there, this too shall pass - can't wait! :)

      over 4 years ago
    • Mel's Avatar

      You have a great support system here!!... :)

      over 4 years ago
    • derbygirl's Avatar

      You took the first step by logging on to WhatNext. There are so many people here for you, to offer support and advice so please put the thought of not having a support system out of your mind. Talk to your doctor about groups in your area. I know it's tough to reach out to others but once you do, you won't be sorry. I was always an independent person who always took care of others. I was raised by my grandparents to be strong and my grandmother was the failure is not an option kind of person. When I found out I had cancer, I found it tough to tell people. In fact, no one knew until after my surgery. It takes time so don't get frustrated. You may find the person at church, a neighbor, or even a fellow patient you meet while at the doctors. Take a deep breath and relax because your support system starts here. Take care.

      over 4 years ago
    • deena's Avatar

      Oh do I know what you are going though!! I also live alone and have no family who live in the same state. My boyfriend lives in another state and only was able to visit me every other weekend. Other than that...I was a lone every day. I had lovely volunteers from the American Cancer Society who took me to treatments and doctor appointments. I also have a neighbor who I didn't know before I was diagnosed who was so helpful when I needed to go to the ER (at least 5 times). She has become a good friend.

      I have friends in the state but they don't live very close and they desperately wanted to help me. I just wanted to be alone most of the time since I felt so sick. I was in menopause when I started treatment but the chemo pushed me through it. It was so hard for me to ask for help and really didn't want visitors.

      This forum is a good forum to get support. Also, check out the CSN (Cancer Survivors Network) forum. It has answered so many questions for me and the comfort I received (and receive) there is so comforting. It is for current patients and survivors.

      Hang in there!!!! There are people here who will listen and try to help you with good advice!

      over 4 years ago

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