• I'm a mess again! Thinking the worst!

    Asked by HearMeRoar on Monday, February 11, 2013

    I'm a mess again! Thinking the worst!

    UGH - I hope there are only a few nodes involved and there no mets! So flipping scary!! Surgery Friday. I. HATE. THIS!! I am a person of faith and am usually positive but this is H.A.R.D.!!!! :(

    22 Answers from the Community

    22 answers
    • Clyde's Avatar

      Yes its hard. But getting yourself worked up over it won't do you any good. You stand a better chance of beating this if you don't let it beat you first.

      over 3 years ago
    • ticklingcancer's Avatar

      Before I knew anything about my cancer, I had myself diagnosed as stage IV and terminal. The biggest issue I had was I couldn't stay off the internet. My Oncologist finally told me that the internet is a bad idea and told me to stop worrying. He assured me he would take care of me and my cancer. Cancer is scary. No doubt about it. It's ok to be scared. I can tell you that It's much easier to handle when you get to the point that you know exactly what you have and know exactly what the game plan is to treat it. Sounds like you're almost there.

      over 3 years ago
    • nancyjac's Avatar

      You strike me as having a tendency towards extremes.....either 100% positive or 100% negative at any given moment in time. Unfortunately, that is a highly problematic trait when in treatment for cancer. It is enough of a roller coaster ride without you adding to it by thinking you need to be all the way up or all the way down. It would really serve you well if you could find a middle ground. The best way to do that might be to focus on the things you can do right now and that are under your control (work, take care of your kids, normal daily tasks) rather than making it all about something that is days or weeks away that no amount of thinking or doing can change either when it is or what it's outcome is.

      over 3 years ago
    • Debbie's Avatar

      HearMeRoar-l know it feels like your life isn' t your own right now. Too many unknowns and all of it scary and overwhelming. It's hard but try not to figure out EVERYTHING, work with the NEXT thing. Get a few answers then handle the next step. You CAN and WILL do this. My thoughts will be with you on Friday.

      over 3 years ago
    • HearMeRoar's Avatar

      Nancy you are kind of brutally honest - and I kind of like that. You make good sense.

      over 3 years ago
    • Mel's Avatar

      Very understandable my mind would be going too.... It's not always easy to stay on that positive note. Thinking of you....

      over 3 years ago
    • SueRae1's Avatar

      Yes this is very scary and very hard. And yes it's difficult to calm down. But as others have pointed out getting yourself all worked up is not helpful. You need to find a balance so that you are not swinging between extremes, which I know form personal experience can be exhausting. The surgery is Friday, and you will then have to wait for the results, which will not be completed until the Pathology report comes in, so you going to be living with uncertainty for awhile. My mom use to say "If worrying would help, boy would I worry"- I remind myself of this when I get into one of my negative cycles. Yes I worry and that's ok, but over worrying won't do anything but make me more upset.

      over 3 years ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

      You mention you are a person of faith. Have you tried prayer to help calm your fears? Or meditation? If surgery were not so close, I'd even suggest yoga. Sometimes we have to live in the moment, especially when we can't do anything to affect the things that scare us. A lot of us have gone through the surgery and the staging process. Deep breath. You can do this, too. Think of how many people on this site are on your side and sending good thoughts your way. You are a strong woman -- don't forget that. All the best, and I hope things go exceedingly well for you on Friday.

      over 3 years ago
    • HearMeRoar's Avatar

      Gonna have a Just Dance 4 Party tonight! Love that my kids like Stevie Wonder and Barry White so much LOL!

      over 3 years ago
    • Peroll's Avatar

      HMR, the others are right that you need to fnd a balance between the highs and lows to the the rollercoster ride at east gets less dramatic. You might ask about some meds to help with the axaiety at this point. Depression and anxiety are very common in cance patients, I know form personal experience. It is caused by a chemical imbalance in he brain whichis caused by the cancer or treatments so it is not your fault for having these feelings. As ai have said before stay positive as much of the time as you can and be able to talk with someone when you do get scared. Cancer and its treatment is scary and you will need someone to talk to sometimes. When you begin feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath and ask for help it will be there. Also it will get better once treatment starts with surgery as you will feel like something is being done. You can then get all of your little sharks swimming with you to your cure and the point you can call your self cancer free, or at least no evidence of desease. Good Luck and let us know how things go.

      over 3 years ago
    • Queen_Tatiana's Avatar

      I would like to suggest to you that you talk to your doctor about meds to control the mood swings you are going through with your cancer diagnosis and treatment. From my own experience of dealing with my husbands cancer I can tell the meds help a lot. A. Lot. They also helped my husband balance his own severe mood swings and depression brought on my the chemo. The cancer needs all your energy right now, and you need to be able to still live your normal life of being with your family and they seeing you as they know you and learning to understand when you are sick, and what they can do when you are not feeling so well physically. The medication will help tremendously, please talk to your oncologist of PCP about it.

      over 3 years ago
    • carm's Avatar

      HearMe Roar,
      My heart goes out to you as I can only imagine how you are feeling. When it is so hard to think positive that is when you need to the most; but in reality if you take life moment by moment, the waves seem to subside, and although the journey may still seem long, the ride is a bit smoother. It is a good thing to vent; better out than in and although you know it is H.A.R.D., try to remember this: H.O.P.E., Hold On, Pain Ends. Things will get better with time. Pat yourself on the back because you have the courage to vent here and the ability to share. We are always here for you. Best of luck on Friday, Carm RN.

      over 3 years ago
    • karen1956's Avatar

      Self-talk......as much as you tell yourself that its horrible and awful, you can tellyourself that it will be good.....I know its hard!!! Try not letting your mind go to those places...

      over 3 years ago
    • GypsyJule's Avatar

      You're so right, it is hard - but don't forget, you're a shark! There is nothing that you can't handle. Don't let the fear of what might be override the good things in your life. I was expressing fear to one of the PAs in my oncologists office a few months ago and she told me her favorite quote, which is becoming one of my favorites as well: "Don't put the umbrella up until it rains."

      over 3 years ago
    • HearMeRoar's Avatar

      I've thought a lot about what everyone has said and have really examined my mind a bit. I have had down days... but mostly down moments. I have been very good at staying positive at least 85% of the time. I have a great support system. I have a strong outlook on life. I have been through and "survived" a lot already in my 36 years. God has made a way when there has seemed to be no way and has allowed me to do amazing things in my years.

      I will keep the idea of antidepressants in mind - for when I need them. In my logical mind, I will say that my outbursts online are probably not a fair representation of the big picture. I am so grateful for everyone's ideas and support. Please keep them coming. They give me new things to ponder.

      Nancyjac- keeping being honest, Karen1956 & GregP_WN keeping being my two biggest online inspirations. Everyone is great - and I am grateful!

      over 3 years ago
    • Lindy's Avatar

      You are on the cusp of some incredible research right now, hang in there, so much help is forthcoming. Sharks lead the way, catfish malinger.

      over 3 years ago
    • KarenG's Avatar

      Stay positive. Know there is a God and thank Him for all the good things he's given to you in your life and He can do so much more. At 36 your life is just starting. Just believe God can and will be at your side thoughout the entire experience.

      over 3 years ago
    • Julitina's Avatar

      I will be praying for you to have peace, and hope for the best outcome. I believe in running to God when overwhelmed, His Word, the Bible, gave me great peace and comfort through the most difficult times. I would pour my heart out to Him in prayer, about my fears, concerns etc... I gained the comfort from Him that I could find no where else. Psalm 23 gave me great peace, also Matthew 11:28-29. Just know others are praying!

      over 3 years ago
    • Joachima's Avatar

      So very sorry that you have to go through this. No matter what the circumstance, God goes with you & promises never to leave or forsake you. I will be praying.

      over 3 years ago
    • Julie99's Avatar

      It is hard. Get everything you need ready to go for surgery and do all the prepping now. Having a focus REALLY helped me. Plus on my iPhone I got a free app, Relax Stess & Anxiety Relief lite.... It has breathing exercises with some background music. I play that on the nights I have trouble sleeping and used it before and after surgery too. It REALLY helped with the anxiety.
      And as a person of faith, trust that you will be where you need to be and learn the lessons you are going to have to learn. It will all work out the way it is supposed to. God only gives us what we can handle, right? I just wish he didn't think so many of us were SO strong!! :)

      over 3 years ago
    • DianaL's Avatar

      HMR, Nancyjac is so right! You have to keep busy and not let your mind run away with all the negatives! Cancer is awful, but I have been blessed with great friends, family and work associates! I have met some amazing people who have survived cancer! If nothing else think of all the young children facing cancer at St. Jude Research Hospital in Memphis! They only want to get well and they smile! I am great full that it is me going through this rather than my daughters or granddaughters! Hang in there you will get to a point of peace and not so much worry! Your medical team will take care of you!

      over 3 years ago
    • chrissy's Avatar


      over 3 years ago

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