• I need advice on how to help a friend just diagnosed with stage 1. She and husband are pretty much in denial and just want a holistic

    Asked by 2943 on Sunday, August 18, 2019

    I need advice on how to help a friend just diagnosed with stage 1. She and husband are pretty much in denial and just want a holistic

    Approach. There are so many options and increasing daily. Do I stay quietly supportive?

    9 Answers from the Community

    9 answers
    • po18guy's Avatar

      Ask them which holistic practices have been subjected to scientific scrutiny and have a track record of success. If they claim to know of "survivors" of holistic medicine, you might plant the seed that those people might not have had cancer in the first place.

      However, it is her life to fight for or to surrender.

      6 months ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar

      wow. Stage 1 can turn into stage 4 REALLY fast while they're trying to fix it holistically. There may be some cancers you can treat early on by changing your ways (I don't know what they are) ... but lung cancer is definitely NOT one of those cancers. How fortunate they are to find it early ... she can be cured of the disease ... but not by doing things holistically. She needs that tumor out of her body - sooner rather than later.

      Of course, you already know these things so I am preaching to the choir. I would probably try to give her the stats of living when lung cancer is caught early ... encourage her one more time to seek true medical treatment ... and then step back and let her make her decision, whatever that is. I would have a hard time being particularly supportive of a decision I consider stupid (holistic) ... but I'd quit badgering her to do what I believe would save her life.

      6 months ago
    • KB2013's Avatar

      “She and her husband”, irks me. It’s HER life and only she should be choosing between living or dyng. Farah Fawcett’s spouse (O’Neal) told her to forgo routine treatments for her stage 1 anal cancer because chemo would cause her to lose her hair so, she took a holistic approach and advanced to stage 4. Instead of your friend wasting precious time with holistic options, she should be following medical advice to halt progression of disease and possibly be cured since she’s only stage 1. If I were in your shoes, I’d tell her to go the medical route and if ‘she and her husband’ resent your input then, back off and avoid discussing the topic of cancer altogether. jmo

      6 months ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      I second the answers above. This is not something you want to wake up from in a year and say that you wished you would have taken the treatment. By then it's too late. Each to their own, but I have 32 years experience of dealing with my own cancers, and 7 years experience professionally dealing with and talking about other people's cancers and I can truthfully say that the grand total of people that I have met that have beaten cancer with "holistic" methods is 0.

      6 months ago
    • Boogerman's Avatar

      she needs to get her butt to a real doctor today, not tomorrow and ask for the needle. None of that holistic crap is anything but a hoax and a death sentence. I hate to see people that fall for the supposedly "easy" way out. They sometimes get sucked in by someone that supposedly beat cancer using only "carrot juice" or some other whacky form of treatment. Then they will cure you too for only 29.95. RUN!

      6 months ago
    • wmsavs' Avatar

      It frankly depends on your relationship with her/them for what can be suggested. She may look to you for advice from your experience or she may elect to follow her mutual decision with her husband. You can jeopardize the friendship with her/them for giving unwanted advice. I would ask her what is her knowledge of holistic treatments? What does she know of the effectiveness of holistic treatments? How does she feel if you and she went to a doctor of her choosing to evaluate options?

      6 months ago
    • DanielD's Avatar

      I can’t blame anyone for preferring a little weed and fruit juice over a knife and radiation.

      Maybe interacting with real people will have more of an impact than articles or content on the internet.

      Are there forums of holistically treated patients?

      There IS a forum for non-holistically treated patients right here (and many of us may have considered alternative medicine.) Ask them to read this thread on WhatNext and then browse around WhatNext, do some searches on this site. We’re a pretty good sample of cancer patients who think, who’ve done their research, who’ve considered all sorts of alternatives.

      Conversation goes like this……..
      “Whatever you decide probably isn’t going to be reversible. Stage 1 is manageable but it can spread and go to a Stage 4 in a matter of months and your options are going to narrow way down and your life expectancy’s gonna plummet.
      Take a look at a real community (that would be WhatNext) of cancer patients of every stage and every kind of cancer out there. You’ll find people who are actually fighting the disease and who have researched and who have considered the gamut of holistic treatment and chemo and radiation and surgery and marijuana, you name it.
      They’re also a friendly, caring bunch of folks who’ll answer your questions and may even engage in conversation with you.”

      Then you’ve led the horse to water.

      And if they decide to go holistic, we’ll still be here for them.

      6 months ago
    • Bengal's Avatar

      Yikes! You don't want to jeopardize a friendship by overstepping but, geez, you don't want to lose your friend to what could end up as horrible suffering and death either. It's a tricky situation. Plain and simple, holistic does not work on cancer! And whoever said this is HER decision NOT her husband's; absolutely!

      6 months ago
    • cards7up's Avatar

      KB2013, Farrah did conventional treatment when she was diagnosed. Her and Ryan never married though when she was diagnosed with cancer they talked about getting married. When she went to Germany for her treatment,she also received some conventional along with the alternative treatment they used. I think her form of cancer was not truly known and when it recurred a year later, it went from stage I to stage IV. This after they told her she was cancer free. You should never tell anyone they're cancer free after treatment unless they've gone at least 5 years or more.

      6 months ago

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