• I was reading the blog post about cancer leaving a scar or disfigurement

    Asked by OldGuy on Thursday, August 8, 2019

    I was reading the blog post about cancer leaving a scar or disfigurement

    I'm not disfigured, but I've lost my hair, I have scars on my body and I've lost so much weight I look like I'm from a Third World country. I am not proud of the way I look, I am embarrassed by it. I have always been a fairly good looking guy. Now I've turned into almost the opposite of what I once was. Does anyone else feel like they want to stay inside so they don't get seen by others?

    6 Answers from the Community

    6 answers
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      I was a little self-conscious about my looks. I was skinny, my suits didn't fit, had lost my hair, I looked sickly. Plus I was a mgr. in the company I was working for and had to give seminars while standing in front of a room full of people. I overcame the problem though. I wouldn't say I was embarrassed. But I do know how you are probably feeling. I hope you get around it.

      10 days ago
    • cllinda's Avatar
      cllinda

      It's very common when either going through treatments or when you are finished that you feel like someone else. We don't look the same, hair loss, scars, weight loss or gain and many other things happen and it can cause you to lose your self confidence and self esteem. It's not easy but you may have to push yourself to start doing "normal" things, like shopping, going to church, seeing a movie or going out to eat. Ignore the stares and weird remarks and get going again.
      I had just completed chemo and was starting to feel a bit better. My friend came over and after a while I asked if we could go out to eat. We did and it was good. It was the push I needed to get back into the real world.

      9 days ago
    • JaneA's Avatar
      JaneA

      Part of this is a brain game. We are much more conscious of how we look now compared to how we used to look.

      If your hair loss is bothering you, resolve to "ROCK" baldness for a few months. Get some brightly colored scarfs or turbans and wear with big hoop earrings. Put on your makeup and smile.

      Once we begin to feel that inner glow within ourselves, we won't be embarrassed. Best wishes.

      9 days ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      Me. I have gained so much weight. Too bad we can't share - we'd probably both look better. And my hair didn't disappear, but its texture changed. I never had pretty hair. Now I really, really don't have pretty hair... And, I think the last seven years or so have aged me 20 years or maybe more...

      It is truly an effort every time I go out to put a smile on my face and step out of the house to be seen as I am today instead of who I once was ... but you know, that's only stuff on the outside. I think people start seeing your inner glow and don't even notice the outside trappings.

      Hey, we're survivors!!!! We might have some battle scars, but we're still here!

      9 days ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      OldGuy, I so agree with what everyone here said, especially LWC (made me laugh the way she spoke about her hair). And what JaneA wrote REALLY made me laugh, and I hope it made you laugh, too, as you imagine rocking that look (of course, I don’t know you, so maybe that look works for you!). Not trying to be flippant about a real problem you’re having, and I hope you can overcome your self-consciousness and go out and forget how you look. Maybe wear loose clothing that disguises your thinness. And don’t forget the lipstick! Hugs from another self-conscience person, self-conscience for other reasons.

      8 days ago
    • Skyemberr's Avatar
      Skyemberr

      I just lost my hair over the weekend and am still trying to get used to the idea of my long locks being completely gone. I wasn't expecting to lose it on this chemo because my oncologist said it rarely happens with FOLFIRI. At least it will grow back. My daughters are freaking out a bit.

      So I ordered about 6 head scarves on Amazon and am trying to decide which one i will rock tomorrow while hopefully it grows back.

      I have had scarring that's extensive in my stomach area, a colostomy and later an ileostomy. I was very lucky and we able to get them reversed, but it took a while to get over it and start to live a normal life around them before the reversal. I think that having gone through that helps me now because i came to terms with my general body changing. I even had to face the loss of a lot of my sexual function to top it off!

      I am so lucky to have found out that my family doesn't care. They want me here whether I have those scars or not, am missing my hair, can control my bowel. It just doesn't matter. My husband fell asleep tonight holding my arm and thanking God I'm home and safe next to him.

      The people who love you in your life are seeing the person in your eyes. It may take them a second to get used to you looking different but they'll just be glad to still see you. I hope you have lots of people like that in your life to help you get used to the changes, and a long survival to enjoy those people who help you through all of this! We're here for you to o if you have more questions!

      6 days ago

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