I'm sure your question was well-meant, you were just seeking information,but I suppose we can all get a little defensive when we're facing the really big issues, and a relatively trivial issue comes up. I would think our "beef" is really with some tv show called "the doctors," who would use the word "humiliation" in this context. Shame on them! Truly, shame on them. If anything, chemo hair loss should be regarded as a badge of courage. These "doctors" should be ashamed. But, you should not be, for asking if anyone has heard of this. I don't think anyone should hesitate to ask a legitimate question.
Breast Cancer Questions
Asked by cher598 on Sunday, May 5, 2013
I am sorry ev one seems displeased with me--I actually got this info from the "doctors" show--They used the humilation word--not me--meaning if the cap could help, it was worth trying--There was a lady on there that had used it and she had all her hair--they said u still get the same amount of kemo--only it drips slower.--Take it up with the show--only repeated what they had said. I have NOTHING against people that lose their hair!--so sry--I think I was misunderstood. + bless you all TC
6 Answers from the Community
I think as you get into chemo a little bit more and meet other patients, perhaps you'll see why so many of us reacted as we did. But I agree w/fastdog--anybody should be able to ask any question here.
I DO know a woman who kept her hair by using an icecap--but I thought her hair was plain before cancer and it was still plain AFTER, lol. I can't figure out why she bothered!
I wasn't offended by the word "humiliation" in your question because I felt it aligned closely with my feelings about my appearance during/after cancer treatment. I did feel humiliated, as in very embarrassed (at times.) For some people who are used to appearing healthy and/or "unremarkable" it's very difficult to suddenly look "sickly" and/or unusual. But, in my case, my baldness (concealed pretty easily with an attractive wig) was less upsetting to me than trying to conceal my lopsided chest, conspicuous chemo port, radiation burns, and puffy (lymphedema) arm.
I think you may have inadvertantly hit a nerve with a couple people but I know you didn't mean to.
Having said this, I think your explanation and apology here is a very nice gesture.
I must say, I was a bit offended by the choice of that word humiliation. That's probably why my reaction was a little harsh. I think I need to look for the clip from that episode of The Doctors! I'll check youtube.
Anyway, I agree with the others. Everyone should feel comfortable enough on here to ask any question they are thinking of so don't let that deter you...just in case!
Thank you for explaining where your question came from.
I think Fast dog said it best: "legitimate question".
At the same time I think that we all need to be protected from spammers asking foolish questions or those who have not actually been diagnosed and are just fishing around and not being truthful with their DX. Or kids asking illegitimate questions. We do need that security of a safe and genuine group.
For many women they are humiliated so regardless of our personal feelings we need to respect this feeling for others. I can assure you I know this feeling well. Having LC and having the stigma of " You must have brought it on yourself" attitude.
There is stigma for any of the HPV cancers like people brought it themselves..awful stigma and totally not true.
I know I felt much sicker once I lost my hair so it does have a profound effect on anyone of us. And it was so hard because I never ever let my 12 year old daughter see me without hair. When I got really bad I sent her to my in laws for three weeks.
I have known about this cap for a long time. Since I post data I hope not to shoot a messenger either. I will try and be careful too.
But this is a strange emotional World this cancer journey.