• Im Helpless

    Asked by jeankristy on Saturday, January 18, 2014

    Im Helpless

    My 9year daughter was just diagnosed with ALL (leukemia) close to two weeks ago. She is so beautiful and dainty and precious and now she's getting spinal taps, chemo therapy, have surgery's, being ill... I am so scared and feel so alone I want to sit in a corner and cry but I know that is not the right thing to do.. I feel so helpless.. HELP

    16 Answers from the Community

    16 answers
    • guyster7148's Avatar
      guyster7148

      Jean, you are NOT alone love..... A lot of parents feel the same..... I am gay and 48 with an adoptive son whom is also going through a bunch of crap.... We(my hubby and me) have sought everything possible and found a wonderful hospital, Boston Womans and CHildrens.... We also joined a great support group in the local town and have found love and hugs from ALL that go... Please hang in there, WE are always here, you can also email me if you need support or Skype me guy.sutton4.... I am a Nurse and my hubby is a pilot and everytime we connect with a family that is going through what you seem to be in for, well, is WONDERFUL, support, love, tender, and crying also is a huge help..... Please reach out, you already did here, do NOT stop!!! XOXO Guyster :)

      about 7 years ago
    • JHARAKA's Avatar
      JHARAKA

      I don't know anythink about the disease your daughter has, but I will pray for her

      about 7 years ago
    • guyster7148's Avatar
      guyster7148

      JHARKA, you are very sweet!!!

      about 7 years ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      JeanChristy-- I feel for you. I never went through anything like this. I did with the eldest grandson. He was in an accident a few days after his 10th birthday. They said that he'd be in a coma for the rest of his life-stage 6 coma, but he'd been in it for over a week. We already selected the care facility. My son was sitting with him, and he woke up and said -Hi dad. then passed out and they assessed him as being too deep in. The next day he woke up, and said, "Grandpa, I need a green chile cheese burger." Grandpa had been in 'Nam for over 4 years-he doesn't care about doctors much. Grandpa got up- fetched the kid his chile cheeseburger, fries, and chocolate malt. When the boy was almost finished with his burger and fries, a nurse came in and began screaming. Everybody came running in. They told my X that he couldn't do that- Grandpa said- Does he look sick to you? Give him his blankety blank fries back-he's hungry.- You're going to give the kid indigestion. He grabbed the fries and malt back, and the grandson finished eating, while they all stared. I can't say that everything worked out, as the boy became involved with drugs-but he's one of millions that are druggies-crack heads. Miracles can and do happen. He was epileptic for 2 years then the seizures stopped. His mother wouldn't let him play in any sports or do other boy things, and I think that had a lot to do with it. So, when your baby gets well--let her be a child-here the girls skateboard-ride horses, and shoot, besides partying and shopping. Let her feel healthy and normal. meanwhile, you have our prayers.

      about 7 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      I haven't had a child have cancer, but both of my parents had cancer and I was their caregiver. It's a helpless feeling knowing that you can't take it away or kiss and make it better. I have had cancer 3 times myself and I have said many times that I think it was harder taking care of them than having it myself.
      I wish your sweet daughter quick, easy treatments and even faster recovery!

      about 7 years ago
    • KLC's Avatar
      KLC

      Jean, there is nothing "wrong" with wanting to cry. . .cry, scream, punch the pillow, let it out. . .allow yourself to work through your own emotions. It's all part of trying to process what's happening. I'm not up on various types of leukemia, but, I do know that childhoold leukemia has a one of the highest cure rates of all cancers. You're not alone, do your research and get the support you need to get your daughter and yourself through this. Best wishes and I'm sending you a BIG hug !

      about 7 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      I'm so sorry. Please ask the Social Worker if there are support groups for parents. Try to be thankful that you have the resources for her to get the treatment she needs, because that is a blessing to you. Best wishes.

      about 7 years ago
    • Clyde's Avatar
      Clyde

      I am so sorry you are going through this.

      Ask her doctor and team about someone you can speak too. A volunteer or specialist to help you through this. You have to be strong for your daughter so don't think of this as being selfish, you are doing it so you can be strong for her. And once in a while, go ahead and cry. Its good to let all that emotion out.

      about 7 years ago
    • leepenn's Avatar
      leepenn

      oh my gosh - it's totally okay to sit in a corner and cry - SOME OF THE TIME…. definitely. of course you're crying… i'm so sorry your daughter has this diagnosis.

      please consider talking to the social worker at your clinic. there are support groups and other resources out there for parents of children dealing with cancer diagnoses. you are not alone - sadly. there are many parents struggling with what you are facing right now. so please - consider talking to a social worker so you can get connected with resources. it's amazing how helpful it is to simply know someone who's been there.

      i was on the other side. we have children, and i had the cancer diagnosis. we joined a group for parents dealing with cancer diagnoses… talking about how to talk to our families… resources… getting help with caring for our children… and more. it was amazing how helpful that was - talking to other PARENTS ….

      now, i imagine it is far easier to be the cancer patient than to see one of our children face cancer. i cannot even imagine, but i does make me think that connecting with other families would be even more helpful.

      i'm so sorry your daughter has cancer - i wish her an effective treatment with minimal side effects…. my heart goes out to you and your whole family.

      about 7 years ago
    • HOBO's Avatar
      HOBO

      I know nothing about your daughter's leukemia. I do remember hearing that they have great success in treating it. Please go cry, scream, jump up and down or whatever it takes to help you cope. Also I know nothing but what I see on TV that St. Judges treats children with many cancers and all of it is free of charge..they.even take on the rare cancers. You might be more comfortable seeking out there services. I will add you to my prayers. Sending warm hugs and keep us posted on th progress.

      Jane

      about 7 years ago
    • ladyhawk's Avatar
      ladyhawk

      don't worry jeankristy,,,my son's school mate is 12 years old, and has survived leukemia, the other day he was so happy to get his port out,,, you see they now have remedies, not like before.:) blessings and prayers for your girl.

      about 7 years ago
    • MMarie's Avatar
      MMarie

      Your feelings are real and deserve to be respected. Even if you may not know what may help right now, tell those who ask what they can do that you don't know, but to please stay in contact. When you can share your fears with them, keep them close. Keep US close too.

      about 7 years ago
    • LKClark's Avatar
      LKClark

      Hello, you are not alone! Just by sharing your story, you have me praying for you and your daughter right now. My daughter was diagnosed 2 years ago with AML/MDS. We too, were overwhelmed! It's a marathon, so ask for help from family, friends and social workers. You and your daughter are going through what no one should have to go through. Fortunately, many advances in treating leukemia have been made in the last few years and she has her youth on her side. My daughter is in remission after chemo, radiation and stem cell transplant. I just kept praying every day. If you are spiritual, ask for spiritual support through your church and medical center. Also, take care of your own health. You need to be healthy to be able to help your daughter through this. Best regards to your family!

      about 7 years ago
    • JewelF's Avatar
      JewelF

      I will certainly pray for your daughter. I can't imagine a child going through this.

      about 7 years ago
    • mamamonte's Avatar
      mamamonte

      Hi..you are not alone, you posted here & that is a great start. You will find support & answers to your questions here. I wish i had found this site earlier in this journey. It is normal to feel helpless at this point, but you will have to be strong & an advocate for your daughter. Learn as much as you can..the leukemia & lymphoma society, along with the american cancer society have been my best sources of information on this journey. The cancer society has a 24 hour phone center, so someone is always there to ask a question or just support you when everything seems overwhelming. Most of all remembrr to take care of yourself..you can't be there for your daughter unless you take care of yourself first. Contact social services at the hospital your dauhhter is at & they will be of great help in this journey. Good luck & you are in my prayers.

      about 7 years ago
    • Cole's Avatar
      Cole

      Jeankristy - I found out on June 6, 2013 that my two month old had JMML...a different type of leukemia. Three months later I found out I had stage III colon cancer. Sometimes there just are no words to adequately describe the heart break. What I can say though is that love will get you through all of these dark moments. Just love on her, get her the best care possible and avoid the whys. Life is horribly unfair and when it comes to your child, it is so devastating. Get her the BEST DOCTORS YOU CAN FIND and hold onto the hope that it must and will get better. My daughters leukemia is resolving without treatment due to a rare disease but these times are harrowing. I am sure you have such a pit in your stomach and I can't say it ever goes away. I am praying for your daughter and your family. If you ever need a shoulder, look me up.

      about 6 years ago

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