• Is it normal to feel lost?

    Asked by ChimereW on Thursday, May 9, 2019

    Is it normal to feel lost?

    I start treatment Monday and I don’t know what to expect. I want to beat this! Ppl say to be positive and for the most part I think I am. It’s so much I want to say but I don’t cause I don’t want to sound evil. My whole life I looked out for others and once I got married , which was last year I thought it was time to live my life . Then BOOM I have stage 4 colon cancer at 39. I believe in God so I won’t question. I just have so much life in me. Has anyone else ever feel this way? Am I wrong? I try to talk to my husband but he’s still hurting from the death of his dad . I know in his mind he’s thinking one thing after another. I love my family and have so much support but when the days pass and life goes back to being normal for them I will still need the support . That’s why I joined this community.

    19 Answers from the Community

    19 answers
    • carm's Avatar
      carm

      Hello, I'm an oncology nurse and I understand your concerns. However, even at a stage IV I have patients who have had the same diagnosis for years. More than likely the first chemo regimen will be 5-fu, oxaliplatin and leucovorin calcium. Nausea is pretty well controlled these days with the pre-treatment and others here can share their experience with this regimen. Funny, I have many at your age with the same diagnosis. Years ago you never saw this cancer in the younger generation. These days cancer is less likely a terminal disease and more so a chronic condition that you learn to live with. Every cancer is different because everyone's DNA is different so you might not experience the same side effects as others. Try to keep acrivevand keep your eyeson your goals. That will pull you through. I'm here if you need anything and everyone here is worth their weight in gold and then some...you are in great hands.

      2 months ago
    • 2yearsncountn's Avatar
      2yearsncountn

      It is so normal to feel lost. First thing to do is to remember that YOU WILL beat this nasty, black, sickening thing we call C. 1. Take your favorite cuddly thing 2. A Refillable Bottle 3. A tablet or notebook or a kindle or a book. 4. A throw, you will get cold. 5. ASK QUESTIONS! ASK WHAT MEDICINE THEY ARE GIVING YOU. 6. IF YOU FEEL "FUNNY" TELL THEM! Remember that your technician is there to help you, not torture you. And as Mama always said "Say Please and Thank You"

      2 months ago
    • ChimereW's Avatar
      ChimereW

      Thank you both. It’s nice to talk to someone who knows what I am going through. Carm you hit it on the nose that’s exactly what I will be taking for treatment. I thank God you both took the time out to answe my question or to listen to me vent.

      2 months ago
    • Teachertina's Avatar
      Teachertina

      Hi, I’ve been dealing with kidney cancer for 13 years, keeps popping up in new places and I keep getting it treated. New treatments and meds are alway being researched and developed, so keep on top of things and talk to your doctors a lot! Writing down your questions as you think of them helps not to forget something at your appointments. Keep us posted on how you’re doing. We know what it’s like! Great folks here to talk to!

      2 months ago
    • ChimereW's Avatar
      ChimereW

      Thank you so much. Great advice. I will keep you all posted. I feel like I can talk freely here with no judgment.

      2 months ago
    • cavaliers' Avatar
      cavaliers

      Hi there! You've come to the right place to be able to vent, ask questions & talk to others who understand & can relate. I'm 5-1/2 years out from my colon cancer diagnosis! I took 5-fu, oxiplatin, radiation and had surgery. Be sure to tell your oncologist if you have any bad reactions to your medicines, they may change it or reduce the dosage. Hang in there, vent tp us anytime, we're here for you!

      2 months ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      Take a look at our blog post about going to chemo. This one is called "Be Prepared - 22 Things to Bring to Chemo" click this link for the article. https://www.whatnext.com/blog/posts/be-prepared-22-things-to-bring-to-chemo

      We are happy to have you with us, but sorry for your diagnosis. There are lots of people here that are glad to help you along your journey, just stop in and post what's troubling you each day and someone will always be around to offer a tip, some motivation, some inspiration, and offer a shoulder to lean on. We wish you the best.

      2 months ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      Hi @ChimereW. I'm glad you found us here and we welcome any and all comments, questions, vents ... whatever feels right for you at the moment!!!

      I was diagnosed back in 2012 with stage IV lung cancer. I wasn't as young as you - I had just turned 59 - but I was living and enjoying life like never before. Always before, I had worked at least two jobs ... and took care of family, etc. - and only recently, I was down to working one job and mostly having fun the rest of the time.

      Like you, I am a Christian. My faith is VERY strong ... it actually grows stronger by the day. I've never questioned why I got lung cancer though I have wondered on occasion why I have so far outlived my prognosis of 4 months. I always tell people I am in a win-win situation - I love living here on earth, but when I think about what awaits me when I take my last breath here ... well, I can't really dread that either.

      So ... when I learned I had lung cancer, my husband and I decided that we were going to do what had to be done and otherwise live the life we had. So, to the extent possible, I went to chemo, dealt with side effects, and kept on living life fully. I have always been glad that's the approach we decided to take. Laughter is still pretty quick to come, having fun with my friends is something I look forward to ... I got to quit work altogether and that's been a huge blessing. I have gotten to travel around the US and even to Israel ... don't let your cancer define you, if you can help it.

      Look up Stephen Estrada if you can. He had a dire diagnosis with colon cancer and he was young ... he is still young and he's beating his cancer. He's a big spokesperson now for colon cancer. I believe he is in remission or no evidence of disease currently. He was given immunotherapy for his cancer.

      Good luck and I'm glad you're here!

      2 months ago
    • ChimereW's Avatar
      ChimereW

      I will look him up. Thank you.

      2 months ago
    • JaneA's Avatar
      JaneA

      Good Morning from a Stage IV rectal cancer survivor. I remember being so scared about the first chemo. Like carm said - you'll probably started off with FOLFOX, a chemo cocktail that has been effective for lots of colorectal cancer patients.

      Everyone is different, but I tolerated FOLFOX very well. I had cold sensitivity in my hands and had to wear gloves or get my husband to take things out of the frig or freezer. The nausea medicine worked great. Be sure to drink plenty of fluids.

      Take this one day at a time. We are family here, and you can speak freely.

      2 months ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Yesterday, I went to see my PCP. As usual I was handed mental health evaluation form. I answered the questions honestly. When the Dr. looked at it said that given the past 3 weeks any normal rational human being would have answered as I did. Had the evaluation been "normal" she would have thought I was delusional So yes it is very very NORMAL to feel lost.
      May I add you to my prayer list?

      2 months ago
    • IKickedIt's Avatar
      IKickedIt (Best Answer!)

      Get your first treatment under your belt. That's the scariest one because you have no idea what to expect. Once you're done your first one, you'll feel a little more comfortable and confident...you can do this, you will do this!

      I also had FOLFOX, 12 rounds and did pretty well. Would I do it again? If it was more of a chronic condition? Yes, I would. I didn't let the cancer control my life or lives of my loved ones any more than absolutely necessary. I continued to work, play and be a wife and mother. I danced in the rain, and you'll learn how to do that, too.

      Keep a journal of all your side effects, the timing, the severity, how long each lasts and factors that may contribute to the severity (i.e. a particular food, temperature, etc.). You should see a cyclical pattern, and you might be able to prepare for each cycle and the side effects. For example, if you get constipated during a certain time of the cycle, have prune juice or senakot on hand. I was also able to determine when my "down" days were going to be, so I'd schedule things around those days, knowing that I'd be sleeping or needing to stay close to a bathroom. My family knew those days would be my "down" days and wouldn't schedule family events. They knew that I wanted to be home alone so I could sleep, so they'd plan to be out for the day.

      This is an amazing group of survivors - we are all survivors - who want to hold your hand, just as everyone did for us. Hang in there and good luck on Monday!

      2 months ago
    • Kylerem's Avatar
      Kylerem

      I remember my first chemo treatment September 6, 2018. I was in an absolute panic because of the unknown. Didn’t sleep. Couldn’t eat. And then it was over. And I knew what to expect for each subsequent treatment. They became predictable which made it easier. I learned to accept that I had to rest and had to take medication for the side effects. I learned to accept help from my family and friends. And then it became easier. Much luck to you as you begin this process. It’s hard but manageable. You are not alone

      2 months ago
    • ChimereW's Avatar
      ChimereW

      BoiseB hello how are you? Yes you may add me to your prayer list. Tomorrow morning is my first day of chemo

      2 months ago
    • ChimereW's Avatar
      ChimereW

      IKickedit
      Thank you so much for your feed back. Everyone here has been so kind and helpful. You guys have taken a lot of my anxieties away. Thank God for you all.

      2 months ago
    • Bug's Avatar
      Bug

      Good luck tomorrow, ChimereW. We'll be with you in spirit. Please let us know how you're doing when you feel up to it.

      2 months ago
    • ChimereW's Avatar
      ChimereW

      So far so good. I was sent home with the 5 fu . A lil drained so I’m going to take a nap. I know it’s a long road ahead of me but with God on my side I know it will be worth it. Thank you all

      2 months ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Hi Chimere I have been praying for you. I had 5fu for my first cancer. I had a very naughty nickname for it. I called it 5 F @*#k us. You can use your imagination How long will you have the pump I had mine for 4 days each round.?

      2 months ago
    • ChimereW's Avatar
      ChimereW

      Hello BoiseB
      Funny that’s what I call it too . I go back tomorrow to get it taken out so that’s only 2 days. I’m not sure if that would change.

      2 months ago

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