• Is there such a thing as an oncologist whose narcissism is less malignant than my tumor?

    Asked by Ljones on Saturday, February 18, 2012

    Is there such a thing as an oncologist whose narcissism is less malignant than my tumor?

    Three days ago, I found a lab report in my medical records that stated that my CT scan showed abnormally large bilateral ovarian cysts and that the doc who'd seen them (a different doctor than my oncologist) recommended that I receive a pelvic ultrasound every six weeks to rule out cystic neoplasm. While I realize those cysts are likely benign, they're large enough to cause the radiologist some level of concern. As I read through my oncologists treatment notes, I saw that he mentioned having seen the other doctor's recommendation...but never told me that I had ovarian cysts. I called to speak to him about it...but he refused to allow me to speak to anyone but his nurse. She informed me that it was not their job to talk to me about anything but breast cancer and to go see a gynecologist. I hung up...and immediately began seeking a different oncologist.

    That was but one bad day in a long line of behavioral anomalies and it was by far the worst. Unfortunately, I've tried talking

    7 Answers from the Community

    7 answers
    • IKickedIt's Avatar

      You made the right choice to see another oncologist. Make sure your records get transferred and be your own advocate. When you have cancer, it is all about you!

      about 9 years ago
    • Ljones' Avatar

      Thanks, I hope I can find one who will agree to take over...

      about 9 years ago
    • susie81610's Avatar

      Good Luck and Great thinking it is time to switch things up. I did in the middle of my treatment and it was the best thing I did. Listen to what your insides say. There will be other oncologist that will take your case on don't worry about that. Good luck to you and hope you get to feeling better and get things moving along. Stand strong!

      about 9 years ago
    • leepenn's Avatar

      "Is there such a thing as an oncologist whose narcissism is less malignant than my tumor?" OH MY GOSH - this made me burst out laughing... Ha hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

      Seriously tho, I had an ovarian cyst that was uncovered during one of the scans associated with staging for my breast cancer. Fortunately, I had an oncologist who was very kind about the whole thing... but he did not want to make the final call on the cyst. He did have me go see a gyn.... It turned out that my cyst was boring (thank goodness), and I was able to move forward with the breast cancer treatment. But, during that phase, when I was full of anxiety and sleep deprivation, he told me that he would prefer me to call rather than sit and freak out....

      I definitely think these doctors have big egos, there's no doubt. In a way, I think you have to have that kind of confidence when dealing with such big life and death diseases... with so many unknowns... Fortunately, my two primary docs have big egos combined with big compassion and big effective ears for listening and big patience during our appointments.

      Definitely, it sounds like at least checking out other oncologists is in order! Good luck - I'm so sorry you've had such a difficult experience with your health care providers!


      about 9 years ago
    • derbygirl's Avatar

      I'm glad that you made the decision to change oncologists because your well being is the most important thing. If you do not have a caregiver that fits your needs and is there to answer any questions you may have either through their triage nurse or personally, then they are not right for you as a patient. But as far as your ovarian cysts go, I recommend that you see a gynocologist. As a former Clinical Assistant in an ObGyn office and Ovarian Cancer survivor I can tell you from experience that nothing should go unchecked. I was diagnosed with ovarian cysts and uterine fibroids that my ObGyn decided to ultrasound. I was glad he did because he was able to diagnose me early and save my life. I'm not saying that you have more than cysts but please see an ObGyn. That is their area of expertise and you deserve peace of mind. Cancer is nothing to fool with as you already know. The most important part of any patients care is the doctor patient relationship. You and your physician need to work as a team. Also remember to always ask questions. You should not have found that info, your doctor should have told you about it. It is YOUR HEALTH! Take care and good luck.

      about 9 years ago
    • JannD's Avatar

      I am an RN and used to work in the ICU. There was a joke that used to be said about Heart surgeons, which said; What is the difference between God and a heart surgeon?
      The answer......God does not think He is a heart surgeon!!!!

      Well put, and applicable, unfortunately, to many MD's out there.

      The real important thing is , yes, you definitely were right to leave him in the dust. Also, I might recommend, asking for a copy of your records, for everything that is done. Every lab, every CT scan, etc. You make your own file. Then you don't have to worry about what is sent along to another specialist. We found this so valuable with my hubby. He had to transfer to the VA for care from the outside world. The VA had been great. All records are on computer. But it is nice when the doc wants to review something, we just reach in our file and hand it to him. He loves that! No searching through all those files online. Plus, we can ask questions if we don't understand what something on the report means. Doctors tend to just give you the highlights. We are intellingent beings, and the more info we have the better off we are when fighting such a cruel beast as cancer.

      Just keep asking questions. Our blessing to you in your health travels.

      about 9 years ago
    • teddyfuzz's Avatar

      Hi Ljones. Your first question made me laugh. I had a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction and sometimes wonder the same thing about my plastic surgeon. He is so arrogant that I want to punch him in the face sometimes. I have asked my other doctors if I could switch to a new plastic surgeon but was told that now that this plastic surgeon has his "footprint" on me, it would be hard to find another plastic surgeon willing to take over someone else's work.

      It sounds like you should have better luck finding a new oncologist. Take care:)

      about 9 years ago

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