• Isolation

    Asked by Sharonroth on Monday, January 8, 2018

    Isolation

    Hi I’m new to this site. I am currently undergoing chemo then I need surgery and radiation and then anti estrogen pills. I have a long road ahead but am trying to be positive and stay in the day. I am feeling very lonely and wanted to know have other woman with breast cancer experienced so called friends and family disappearing during this time when you need them most. And just getting the “call me if you need anything”. I tried reaching out asking for what I need, which is very hard for me, so now I feel like an idiot for asking as I get no response and the phone calls are far and few between. With it being an extremely cold winter and a lot of people sick it’s hard to even just go out on my own as my immune system is compromised. I’m just feeling very sad and lonely and do not want this to interfere with my healing. They say people who are surrounded by positive and loving people do better. But I can’t do anything about the reaction I have received and lack Of support.

    42 Answers from the Community

    42 answers
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      We are sorry you're having these issues. Sadly, it's quite common. Here is an article I wrote on our blog about the "call me if you need anything" issue. Here is that article>>http://bit.ly/2hjHy8p

      As soon as some of the BC ladies see this they will have some feedback for you too.

      11 months ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar
      BuckeyeShelby

      Hi Sharon. I was in similar situation. My best friend abandoned me. Very few people are work really took notice. I only had two things to cling to. One coworker rides w/me because he can't drive. He was supportive to the point he could be. And this web site. I don't know if I could have gotten through treatment with out the support of the people here. Some individuals are still on this site, some are well now and have gone on to live their lives, others have passed beyond the veil. I've learned from them all. While few of us are near enough to offer rides to treatment, we are hear to chat with, ask questions of, laugh with, cry with, vent with. I hope at some point you can consider us part of your extended family.

      11 months ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      Hi Sharonroth, i am sorry you are feeling so down. Unfortunately, too many of us have experienced just what you are ... friends falling by the wayside.

      It is a hard, lonely and vulnerable time. Just when you need your friends most, they disappear. Like BuckeyeShelby says, though, we are here for you, to the extent possible. Please lean on us.

      11 months ago
    • Olneygirl's Avatar
      Olneygirl

      I'm so sorry that you are experiencing such a lack of support. Some in my life have avoided me and this is hurtful. However, I have been blessed by many who have supported me. Do you have a breast cancer support group or cancer support group in the community where you live? We have one here and they are very supportive. That group, if you have one, could probably help you get through in a more physical presence than we can on this site. But as others have said, we are here to help in any capacity that we can on this website. I will have my third Chemo of TC this week and then I will only have 1 more to do before radiation. It has been extremely helpful to express some reactions that I have experienced here on What's Next and have been given great remedies to try. I'll keep you in prayer and I pray all gets better and goes well for you.

      11 months ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Sharon your situation is comes with a cancer diagnosis. I would say that 90% of the people here have at sometime felt just like you. The other 10% are faking it.
      Here are some things to remember
      1) You don't have to be positive all the time.
      2) Light particularly sunlight is an enemy of sadness. Always see the sunrise even if it is just pale dot. Open the blinds and follow the light around the house. try to stay in the lightest room.
      3) As BuckeyeShelby says you have just introduced yourself to hundreds of friends.

      11 months ago
    • Ejourneys' Avatar
      Ejourneys

      Hi, Sharon -- I had already been a caregiver for 13 years when I got my cancer diagnosis, and caregiving had already isolated both my partner and myself. For online support, WhatNext is a great place. Breast Cancer Social Media (#bcsm) on Twitter is also wonderful; they have a website as well at bcsm.org. They hold tweet chats on Monday nights at 9PM Eastern but the hashtag is active 24/7.

      I'm lucky in that I have a local breast cancer support group, and my radiation center has a terrific support staff. There might be some resources near you that can help with rides or errands if you need. These websites might help:
      https://patch.com/new-jersey/ramsey-nj/breast-cancer-support-groups-in-bergen-county
      https://www.cancercare.org/contact/new_jersey#

      Does your facility have a cancer navigator? They may be able to help get you support as well.

      The American Cancer Society's info line might also be able to help. (The day I was diagnosed I made two phone calls. The first was to ACS. The second was to the facilitator of my breast cancer group.) Their help line is 800 227 2345. Website: https://www.cancer.org/

      Cancer Support Community also has a help line at 888 793 9355
      Website: https://www.cancersupportcommunity.org/

      Imerman Angels provides one-on-one Cancer Support: http://imermanangels.org/
      Cleaning For a Reason: http://www.cleaningforareason.org/ -- "Our mission is to give the gift of free house cleaning for women undergoing treatment for any type of cancer."

      During chemo I saved my errands for my "good days". Whenever I could I ordered stuff delivered to my home rather than go out into the crowds.

      Hugs. You may be isolated, but you're not alone.

      11 months ago
    • SandiA's Avatar
      SandiA

      Hi Sharonroth! I am so sorry you are going through this. I also felt like some of my friends fell away or won’t really there for me. It really hurt. I had one friend in the neighborhood who was a bc survivor and she showed up in a big way. Just being able to talk to someone who has been there made a big difference. She is the one who told me about this site. She also took me to a support group. They were both a big help. Hang in there and please lean on us as much as you need. Sandi

      11 months ago
    • cllinda's Avatar
      cllinda

      I also went through the same stuff. They just disappeared. A card once in a while, or a call. But mostly on my own. I was told to stay out of crowds, so no church or other outings. Life revolved around doctor appointments, hospital trips, and being grounded because it was winter.
      Plus, I couldn't read or knit, because of double vision. It was rough. But I did have a few good friends that dropped off gifts, brought smoothies over and just let me talk about what I was going through. I am lucky on that.
      But I did get through it all and am now a five year survivor. Hugs to you as you go through all of it.

      11 months ago
    • Russ' Avatar
      Russ

      Dear Sharon, Sorry you're feeling so sad, and down. I have feelings for those family members, and friends as well. They just don't know what to say. I remember one time when I went back to work part-time during my second round of chemo. By the way I am a 17 year pancreatic cancer survivor. Any way I got an internal phone call from a manager in another department. He said to me that he saw me in the hall-way, but turned around and went the other way. He said it was because I didn't know what to say to you. I told him it was okay, and he could say anything he felt like saying...it didn't matter. If we could make these people understand that they can say anything they wanted to say to us it would be okay. Let them know if they have questions about cancer it would be okay...ask away. If they say "call me if you need any thing." Go ahead and call them and say "you told me to call if I need anything...well I need to talk to you for awhile" Once you or they start the conversation it should loosen them up for awhile, and then invite them over for lunch or meet somewhere for lunch, or dinner. Or meet somewhere else for coffee if not for lunch. Work on it and see if helps any. They just don't know what to say, so they ignore you. My best to you, and if you have any questions of me just go through the question app at the top. Good luck to you...Russ

      11 months ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      Hi, Sharonroth. I'm glad you found us. We're here for you. I'm an 18.5-year breast cancer survivor. I can't add to the excellent suggestions offered already except to reassure you that you don't HAVE to be surrounded by loving people in order to have a successful outcome. It feels better, of course, to have such support, but you should do fine even if you don't have these people. And you don't have to be "positive" emotionally in order to get well. Let yourself feel what you're feeling. You probably know this, but in my MSKCC support group we were reassured that feeling sad or angry, etc., wouldn't prevent us from surviving. Some of us didn't know that.

      Sending you hugs from Brooklyn.

      11 months ago
    • Bug's Avatar
      Bug

      Hi, Sharonroth. I can't add anything else either but I'd like to reiterate that we're here for you. Please reach out any time whether it's with a question or you just want to connect with someone. And, by the way, no question is small or silly or stupid. I'm sending you a big hug.

      11 months ago
    • msesq's Avatar
      msesq

      Having been a cancer patient and friend of a patient you have to ask for what you need. One friend made me chicken soup after every chemo session because I asked her to do it, my knitter friends made me chemo caps ( most of them did) but I asked them to do it. Others made me a chemo blanket because when they said what can I do I told them. As a friend of a brain cancer patient I made a chemo blanket and sent cards of encouragement (Food was out of the question due to distance) the only reason I knew what to do was my own experience. I had family and friends who disappeared during treatment but the hurt was healed by those who did step up.

      11 months ago
    • ChicagoSandy's Avatar
      ChicagoSandy

      Hi, Sharon. Sorry you're going through this. I agree that you shouldn't be shy about asking for exactly what you want others to do for you, whether it's a ride to treatment, doing your shopping when you shouldn't be around crowds in enclosed spaces, bringing a favorite food that you can still enjoy during chemo, shoveling/salting your sidewalk, pet care, or just be a receptive ear for you to vent. People want to help, but they often don't know how.

      11 months ago
    • ChicagoSandy's Avatar
      ChicagoSandy

      Oh, and since they're talking for anti-hormone pills once you're done with chemo & rads, you need to change the setting in your profile from "ER Positive: don't know" to "yes." Obviously, your tumor was ER+. If you're unsure about PR status, ask your oncologist or their nurse. Does your hospital have a patient portal? If so, a lot of your info will be on there. If you haven't set up your account on the portal, it's a good idea to do so. Your treatment team can direct you to someone to walk you through it. Check out breastcancer.org--besides the usual medical topics, our forums have some fun and distracting threads (like food, hobbies, faith, jokes, age-and-geographical groups, etc.). There are also articles to read, lists of resources to consult (or even get some assistance)...and it's free to sign up.

      11 months ago
    • ChicagoSandy's Avatar
      ChicagoSandy

      whoops--Auto-incorrect inserted "for" in that first sentence. Gotta look up at my screen more often before I post!

      11 months ago
    • ChildOfGod4570's Avatar
      ChildOfGod4570

      I know that isolated feeling all too well. I lived too far away from family when I was in active treatment, and my church did whatever they could for me with rides to treatments and appointments. People bringing me meals and just sitting with me were far less frequent. I’d seen those BC awareness movies with small armies of family and friends coming by with food and lots of hugging and being given license to be angry or sad. Thing is it didn’t quite turn out that way for me. I’d been told many times to be positive to the point where I thought those two well meaning words would make me want to be sick. I know my greatest supporter, my mother, was just a voice over the phone at the time, but I sure did wish she was there just to hold me. I know we’re not in the house with you, but we’re here to let you know what you are going through is as normal as it can get. We’ve all been there and done That and gotten the T-shirt in several colors. Feel free to vent with us at any time. NOTE: To any medical professionals reading this post, please know this is why emotional support needs so badly to be added to any cancer treatment plan. HUGS and God bless.

      11 months ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Hey, Sharonroth!
      Look how many people have responded to you here!! I might have missed it above, but one thing you should do is let your doctor know how sad you feel. His/her office may have a support group you can go to, or they may help you find one or even refer you to a Social Worker or Counselor. Some clinics have Patient Navigators who can help. Others may have an American Cancer Society representative who can put you in touch with a Cancer Buddy.

      I haven't tried it yet, but some towns have started grocery shopping and delivery services (you order online). Walmart here has a service that they get your groceries together and you pay and pickup at the door! (perfect for immunity issues) I have learned about a neighbor boy available to do odd jobs for money, and some churches do no-charge odd jobs for cancer patients.

      If you need a ride, some towns have low-cost vans/transportation for help to doctor appointments.

      If you call the American Cancer Society 800 number, they may be able to direct you to other places for services.

      Wishing you the best.

      11 months ago
    • CASSIEME1's Avatar
      CASSIEME1

      i agree with what has been said. I 2 am a breast cancer survivor of 5 years. and have and is experiencing the same. I was and am and very much alone except my s/o that I met at the beginning of my treatment he is a 10 year lung cancer survivor. feel free to vent. try to rememvber 1 day 1 step. Welcome to what next family of support

      11 months ago
    • Lorie's Avatar
      Lorie

      Sharonroth warm welcome to you. All people above and more are so helpful and friendly. You have come to the right place. It sounds like you're overcome with the treatment ahead of you. One day or less at a time. Lorie

      11 months ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      I can relate .I know that isolated feeling all too well.

      11 months ago
    • Jouska's Avatar
      Jouska

      Sharonroth, as you can see by the answers, not an uncommon problem and everyone has given good advice and shared good experiences. I found most of my friends did not know what to do or how to respond to my illness. A few friends were true blue and stuck through thick and thin. One took me to my chemo treatments - driving over an hour each way to pick me up and stayed with me for the chemo treatment. One helped cared for the horses and checked on me almost daily and one was there for my surgeries. Others made comments like call me if you need something and I didn't - I am just not that kind of person. Others offered help but made it so complicated, it wasn't really worth it. But I would guess i was alone at home 90% of the time. I have dogs and they were a great comfort to me and gave me purpose. I worked from home most of the time and went into the office on my good weeks. I also tried to get some routine going in terms of visiting the barn and seeing friends. I too had a compromised immune system and I washed my hands a lot but otherwise did whatever I felt up to doing. By its nature and because it is so scary for so many people, cancer treatment is a lonely process. Reflecting back on my mother who had colon cancer and going through breast cancer myself, I know I didn't understand what she went through and I wasn't near as supportive as I should have been. Unless you have been there, I don't think you can really understand. On the flip side of that, I have worked hard to be supportive of others who are going through breast cancer treatment - having been there myself. I have had two colleagues go through treatment after mine was completed and I have done my best to be there for them in whatever they needed. Hang in there and wishing you the best with treatment.

      11 months ago
    • junie1's Avatar
      junie1

      good morning, let me say that this site will help you a lot with things or questions you might have, people on here Are Your Friends,, and will respond back to you,, Really!
      One person I knew from my job,, ( I didn't know her that well,,) she was the one that sent me things that was wonderfrul,, warm blankets, angels,, just little things, But she turned out to be a good friend. Most of the others,, didn't know what to say or how to react to my illness.
      My family was really supportive,, and that was great! Co-workers would be nice,, but just didn't know what to say,, or do,,which is the way with a lot of people.. Not Knowing What to Say..
      I know that one problem I had or might still have is talking to people,, explaining to them what I want or need, Some times a text or a call to say hi is good,, they don't have to vist ( just a call would be nice.)
      I wish you well,, we here will respond ,, we've all been thur this,, and I don't mean to say that in a negative way, seems it's said a lot,, and people take it the wrong way,, but we here,, don't,, we really do know what you are dealing with..

      11 months ago
    • junie1's Avatar
      junie1

      good morning, let me say that this site will help you a lot with things or questions you might have, people on here Are Your Friends,, and will respond back to you,, Really!
      One person I knew from my job,, ( I didn't know her that well,,) she was the one that sent me things that was wonderfrul,, warm blankets, angels,, just little things, But she turned out to be a good friend. Most of the others,, didn't know what to say or how to react to my illness.
      My family was really supportive,, and that was great! Co-workers would be nice,, but just didn't know what to say,, or do,,which is the way with a lot of people.. Not Knowing What to Say..
      I know that one problem I had or might still have is talking to people,, explaining to them what I want or need, Some times a text or a call to say hi is good,, they don't have to vist ( just a call would be nice.)
      I wish you well,, we here will respond ,, we've all been thur this,, and I don't mean to say that in a negative way, seems it's said a lot,, and people take it the wrong way,, but we here,, don't,, we really do know what you are dealing with..

      11 months ago
    • junie1's Avatar
      junie1

      good morning, let me say that this site will help you a lot with things or questions you might have, people on here Are Your Friends,, and will respond back to you,, Really!
      One person I knew from my job,, ( I didn't know her that well,,) she was the one that sent me things that was wonderfrul,, warm blankets, angels,, just little things, But she turned out to be a good friend. Most of the others,, didn't know what to say or how to react to my illness.
      My family was really supportive,, and that was great! Co-workers would be nice,, but just didn't know what to say,, or do,,which is the way with a lot of people.. Not Knowing What to Say..
      I know that one problem I had or might still have is talking to people,, explaining to them what I want or need, Some times a text or a call to say hi is good,, they don't have to vist ( just a call would be nice.)
      I wish you well,, we here will respond ,, we've all been thur this,, and I don't mean to say that in a negative way, seems it's said a lot,, and people take it the wrong way,, but we here,, don't,, we really do know what you are dealing with..

      11 months ago
    • junie1's Avatar
      junie1

      good morning, let me say that this site will help you a lot with things or questions you might have, people on here Are Your Friends,, and will respond back to you,, Really!
      One person I knew from my job,, ( I didn't know her that well,,) she was the one that sent me things that was wonderfrul,, warm blankets, angels,, just little things, But she turned out to be a good friend. Most of the others,, didn't know what to say or how to react to my illness.
      My family was really supportive,, and that was great! Co-workers would be nice,, but just didn't know what to say,, or do,,which is the way with a lot of people.. Not Knowing What to Say..
      I know that one problem I had or might still have is talking to people,, explaining to them what I want or need, Some times a text or a call to say hi is good,, they don't have to vist ( just a call would be nice.)
      I wish you well,, we here will respond ,, we've all been thur this,, and I don't mean to say that in a negative way, seems it's said a lot,, and people take it the wrong way,, but we here,, don't,, we really do know what you are dealing with..

      11 months ago
    • Horselady46's Avatar
      Horselady46

      Hi there, I like the rest on here know what you are going through as we have also gone through this. I lost friends from what I went through, but I have made new friends. Check and see if there is a local place where people meet. I know out here that the ACS has groups. I did have one neighbor who helped me occasionally. At work I was put in an office away from my group. It got so bad I retired. Thank goodness I was at retirement age. I now volunteer around our city. It helps.

      11 months ago
    • MaryAnn's Avatar
      MaryAnn

      I know how you feel. I am a six-year survivor and doing great. I will never forget the shock I felt from the lack of interest and concern from friends and even my own sisters. Not one meal from friends! No gift cards for help with cleaning. Nothing. I sought help from a support group and realized only survivors can truly understand what you are going through. Ironically, while those I thought would be there weren't, it was surprisingly to find old friends come forward and rise to the occasion. I will never forget that.

      This feeling you have will pass. I promise. You will get your life back and you will be able to forgive your friends.

      11 months ago
    • Sharonroth's Avatar
      Sharonroth

      Thank you so much for all the positive responses. I went to a support group recently and it made me feel not so alone but they only meet once a month so I’m looking to find another one to at least get to go two times a month. I’m responding to the people said ask for what you need if you read my original message you would see I was asking not getting a response and that just made me feel more sad so I’m not asking anymore. So therefore I’m just trying to figure out a way to get through this without any expectations on people and without the help and love and support that I thought I would be getting. I will definitely respond differently to someone going through cancer treatment from this point forward. And as soon as I am able I plan on doing some volunteer work in this area as well. You really only know how it is when you’re actually going through it. I’ve been very sensitive to other people’s feelings and realizing that they probably don’t know what to say and feel bad but it’s not my job to keep asking for help and all I get is more silence. At this point I would just enjoy some company. I am so glad I joined this group.

      11 months ago
    • Rustysmom's Avatar
      Rustysmom

      I don't have any wisdom to add that hasn't already been offered, but want to send big hugs. We all understand how you feel.
      If there is a silver lining that we can take away from this experience, for me it is the understanding and empathy that I learned by going thru the whole diagnosis and treatment. Before that, I might have been one of those who didn't know what to say. This experience does change us. Lean on this group, they are amazing!

      11 months ago
    • gpgirl70's Avatar
      gpgirl70

      Hello Sharonroth. I can also relate to your feelings of isolation. I tend to be a bit introverted and also don't like asking for help. I was a teacher and during the first part of my treatment, my friends/coworkers were still teaching and very busy. Once I finished that first really nasty chemo and started feeling better, I started reaching out and calling friends to meet up for coffee, take a walk, or see a movie. I did ask friends to take me to some treatment appointments because I had trouble driving after chemo. Once school started again, I again felt isolated. For nearly a year, I became more and more of a hermit. Then I decided to take a ceramics class at the community college. I had been an art teacher and wanted to delve more deeply into making art again. I met the most wonderful community of people. What was nice is that all of these new friends didn't know me as a cancer patient. I found with my longtime friends the conversation always came around to my health so this was refreshing. I have now been taking the class for over a year. I tried support groups but it wasn't for me. I have a friend who finds her support group very helpful and she loves being a resource for those who are newly diagnosed. I hope you find a path that gives you comfort and makes you feel supported. Even though it is hard, reach out to friends and family.

      11 months ago
    • RoadrunnerBOKO's Avatar
      RoadrunnerBOKO

      We all have this same issue . People deal with your disease differently . Even with help , you have a lonely feeling ! Get into Warrior mode...task oriented. you will get through this . Ask the hospital if there is a Cancer support group local...it helps talking to others. This will pass and you WILL get through this. Also ask for a Social worker, they have a ton of info for help , financial and groups that can help drive, etc. My infusion center has a Chaplin, Soc. Worker and great nurses that listen and can help ! Hang it there !

      11 months ago
    • ChicagoSandy's Avatar
      ChicagoSandy

      There is also a subspecialty called "oncopsychiatry," which treats the very real mental health issues that spring from being a cancer patient. As many of these issues are not merely emotional but medical (e.g., depression, chemo brain, etc.), oncopsychiatrists prescribe medications when appropriate. They don't judge, and they don't believe having a "positive mental attitude" has any bearing on the effects or progression of our cancers. I don't know if you are geographically isolated, but perhaps your cancer center can steer you to such a practitioner--prescriptions can be called in or faxed, sessions can take place via Skype or other teleconferencing. Hope you can get the answers and services you need and want.

      11 months ago
    • mommasan's Avatar
      mommasan

      Praying for you.

      11 months ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Sharonroth, I think you are on the right track to look for another support group to go to. Also when you go to one, if someone seems to connect with you, you could ask if they would like to get something to eat, and possibly offer a blanket invitation to others around you. If you are comfortable, ask the facilitator to announce it. Making new friends with cancer can be nice and also cheer you up.

      I was in a Fibromyalgia support group years ago. We had a monthly meeting about 6:00 p.m. and went out to eat afterwards. People became friends, emailed, and then added a standing weekly lunch at Chick Filet. It was really helpful for fibromyalgia sufferers, who often have social challenges because they don't feel well when they are supposed to go somewhere.

      11 months ago
    • Mel-T's Avatar
      Mel-T

      I am so sorry that you are not finding the support that you do need. Cancer is not something that should be gone through alone. I just want to give you a hug myself. You did the right thing by joining this support group. You can make very close friends on online support groups. I was on one for mental health issues for years and I had some very close friends. We even called one another. It is great being able to talk to others who understand.
      I do have a huge support system. I can't imagine what you are going through. Sometimes people don't know what to say, how to treat you, or what to do. I am very open about everything so people find it easy to even ask me questions about my situation that they are embarrassed to ask. You will also make frinds at you chemo center. I see the same people all the time and some of us are close. If you need to talk, that I can do as you can tell.

      11 months ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Sharon, I am glad to see that you are able to get out among people. I had thought that you were reluctant to get out because of a compromised immune system. If you are getting out and about, look into your local YMCA. My YMCA has 5 programs for cancer survivors including LIVESTRONG at the Y and an arts and crafts group. Some of the programs meet as often as twice a week. All meet weekly.

      11 months ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      Hi Sharon, I'm sad that you're going through this-cancer--It's sad-but some people act like cancer is contagious. Then others just don't know what to say, and then some people are all talk and nothing of substance. I learned that when my father was dying of cancer back in the 1950s. People don't change much, so don't blame this on modern society or your cancer. It probably was this way back in the time of the Ancient Greeks and Romans.

      If for any reason your cancer doesn't follow the norm, there are people that will say that you didn't have a real cancer and things like that. Hopefully, it will heal and respond well to treatment, and your side effects will be at the minimum.

      Don't be ashamed to wear a face mask---- Valentine's Day will be the 5 year anniversary of when my treatment ended-surgery and immediate radiation-nothing prolonged like other cancers. Anyway, I went to the pharmacy- a woman coughed on me-not very much-- 2 weeks later-in Feb I had a colono-endoscopy. I woke up with raging Whooping Cough- You know that the didn't anesthetize me with coughing, fever, headache, loss of voice, swallowing problems---So, protect yourself. I was bed-ridden and couldn't speak for 3 months.

      Just try to eat healthy- follow doctors' orders for doing exercise-as those will keep you limber and help with healing.

      I personally think that being told to be positive for healing is an unrealistic burden placed on cancer patients. There are times you'll be down, and want to cry and complain--cry for yourself-complain to us--be like me and throw something-or kick an inanimate object like a little trash can. It makes you feel good. I looked around and found a renowned psychologist, Susan David, that agrees with me. Her best friend was murdered, and a few weeks later 2 ski-masked men came at her in a parking lot, with a gun. She was so enraged that she threw a book at them, screamed and started chasing them. They ran off.

      Try to find things that entertain you---me -it was jigsaw puzzles and my coonhounds. Don't be ashamed of seeing a counselor. You can talk to us.

      Hugs---

      11 months ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      The Whooping Cough was in year 4. Feb 9, 2017, and it took me until about Thanksgiving to really get over it. And now I'm in a survivorship program. Boise says 1 step forward, and 2 steps back--then we make steps forward--things keep changing for us.

      11 months ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      The above replies are the reason when someone asks how cancer changed you, most of us say it made us more sensitive to others and often more independent and able to be our own advocates now.

      Although it's an experience, when it's over, you'll feel you've grown in a good way---much wiser and able to deal with anything you need to!
      Best wishes!

      11 months ago
    • CottonGinny's Avatar
      CottonGinny

      I felt alone and a bit abandoned. I contacted a local agency that deals with newcomer immigrants, and I offered to have a conversation group hosted in my home. It keeps me from getting to caught in my own problems, keeps me positive...and forces me to take time to tidy the house. The cost is minimal...coffee and buns...and I have a group of new friends who are supportive and appreciative.

      11 months ago
    • geekling's Avatar
      geekling

      It is my hope life is now better for you, @Sharonroth.

      How are you managing?

      Best wishes

      4 months ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Yes, how are you? Please give us an update! Hoping you're much happier.

      4 months ago

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