• Just had bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction started. Would like to talk to someone about the onslaught of thoughts and feelings.

    Asked by zappons on Thursday, November 29, 2012

    Just had bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction started. Would like to talk to someone about the onslaught of thoughts and feelings.

    Do not wish to burden loved ones. Who should I speak with?

    15 Answers from the Community

    15 answers
    • nancyjac's Avatar
      nancyjac

      You are more than welcome to "speak" with all of us here. Or if you would prefer face to face, ask you oncologist about support groups in your area.

      almost 5 years ago
    • Nancebeth's Avatar
      Nancebeth

      As nancyjac said, any of us will "speak" here but you can also exchange emails with people on the site you think may be helpful to you.
      I started reading blogs of others going through what I was and then started writing my own
      nancebeth.blogspot.com

      almost 5 years ago
    • lynn1950's Avatar
      lynn1950

      Hi - I had a bilateral mastectomy, but no reconstruction. Welcome to this site.

      almost 5 years ago
    • Mel's Avatar
      Mel

      April 17th I had a bilateral maastectomy with reconstruction started also. I just finished my chemo. of 6months and December 27th I will have my expanders taken out and implants put in.
      So true on the onslaught of thoughts and feelings!!... There are so many good people here to chat with. I have felt so much better pouring thoughts out here and asking questions. Going through all this I found it very hard to talk to people that weren't or haven't gone through this they just don't understand!!!....

      almost 5 years ago
    • karen1956's Avatar
      karen1956

      I had bilat with expanders then silicone implants...my bilat was in 2006. I am just a few year older than you...I'd be happy to talk to you hear any time...

      almost 5 years ago
    • JennyMiller's Avatar
      JennyMiller

      All the people who have replied thus far are loyal to this site -- they are caring, honest and will be there to listen and offer advice. They will become your "family" in the cancer world. Only people who have made this journey can truly understand your feelings and fears. Family and friends do their best to care for you and to support you but they just are not able to understand. If you desire to communicate personally, you can request an email address through the site. I wish you the best.

      almost 5 years ago
    • CountryGirl's Avatar
      CountryGirl

      For me, family and friends were just so happy to see me on the surviving end of cancer that they couldn't process the emotional and difficulties I experienced. I had a chemo buddy. She and I texted and complained about rotting toe nails during taxol treatments, about the sleepless nights wrought with recurrence fears, about aching joints, and about inadequacy feelings after mastectomies.

      There are support groups. I spoke to a counselor once and, in that session, she made a comment that has carried me through: we are like war veterans who have faced a brutal death and survived, who carry with us some horrible scars and reminders, who stand apart from the mainstream because of the experience.

      Some above responded that many of us are good listeners. I didn't have reconstruction. Most days I wear prosthesis. Some days, I just go flat. My chemo buddy had reconstruction. Both of us were forty when diagnosed. I'd be glad to answer an email and so would she.

      almost 5 years ago
    • gwendolyn's Avatar
      gwendolyn

      You may also consider getting a recommendation from your oncologist for a therapist/psychiatrist who specializes in treating oncology patients. In my experience, they know a great deal about cancer and cancer treatments and how they affect people emotionally as well as physically. Insurance will usually cover the cost. This is a tough time. Get all the help you can get.

      almost 5 years ago
    • mamakas' Avatar
      mamakas

      I know it can be quite shocking to see the scars and not have your breasts. It does get easier. I have had both mine removed and just had implants put in 2 weeks ago. Its a process and I won't be finished for several months. I just take it one step at a time, and pray it will get better.

      almost 5 years ago
    • jamrck's Avatar
      jamrck

      All the suggestions below are good. You might also contact the American Cancer Society who offers can match you up with another survivor with similar diagnoses, age, etc through their Reach for Recovery program.

      almost 5 years ago
    • zappons' Avatar
      zappons

      HI Jam, I did contact the ACS weeks ago for a 'mentor', have called them back twice and both times they put the request through again. Been another week, now (3) and still haven't heard anything!

      almost 5 years ago
    • zappons' Avatar
      zappons

      Thank you everyone, I appreciate your thoughts.

      almost 5 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      Sorry for the delay in you getting someone to talk to Zappons, I am going to forward your information to someone with ACS and see what they can do.

      almost 5 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      I have been in contact with a Representative from the American Cancer Society, someone will be getting in contact with you soon. Please let me know when you hear from them.

      Greg P

      almost 5 years ago
    • Nomadicme's Avatar
      Nomadicme

      I had a double dx with lat reconstruction. My last reconstruction operation was nearly a year ago. So I'm somewhat fresh from it (I had to wait for chemo,to be over and then my blood counts to go up before I had the soft implant exchange). I'd be happy to speak to you about it on the phone or through yahoo messenger (chat format). Let me know :)

      almost 5 years ago

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