• Just need some support

    Asked by SimonMci on Sunday, August 3, 2014

    Just need some support

    My husband has stage IV renal cancer and it has progressed significantly. I think he has mets to the brain as last night he argued with me for 20 minutes that his iPhone was to be plugged into a flashlight. He's losing his ability to run the TV (his major source of entertainment as I still work) and right now is on the phone with AT&T confusing the heck out of some poor customer service rep, but I couldn't stop him from calling. We argued for half an hour that the TV wasn't broken before he called.

    I don't know what to do. I have to work as he doesn't work. I'm going to call his palliative care RN tomorrow but I'm scared he's going to have to be placed somewhere and it is his wish to die at home. His MD wanted him to go on hospice this past week and he declined, still seeking further treatment, though he knows it won't do much good.

    I don't expect anyone to have any answers, but I sure feel better for having written this. Thanks for listening.

    19 Answers from the Community

    19 answers
    • TammyF's Avatar

      I am happy to hear you have answers now, Hospice is amazing and can help while you work.
      I would really look into the dying at home vs hospice inhouse. Dying at home is hard on the family. and that room will never be the same, I believe it has to be disclosed if you sell the house that someone died in there and the value of the house goes down, My father just passed in my brothers house, we were all there for the last 5 days, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do, my brother took a long vacation he just could stand being in his house where dad died. The decision needs to be thought out carefully

      almost 7 years ago
    • Sherron's Avatar

      Hang in there. You are doing great. Glad you are going to get some Hospice care.

      almost 7 years ago
    • SimonMci's Avatar

      Thanks so much for all the answers. My husband is doing about as expected. I feel very fortunate I'm able to care for him at home and have enough medical background to understand what is happening to him. I wouldn't have it any other way. I can stay on leave from work until about September 2nd, after which time I have some hard choices to make due to finances, but from what they are telling me, I may not have to make them. As the saying goes, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now we are enjoying family, friends, and each other. I won't ask for more. Blessings to you all for listening when I really needed to vent!

      almost 7 years ago

    Help the community by answering this question:

    Create an account to post your answer Already have an account? Sign in!

    By using WhatNext, you agree to our User Agreement, and Privacy Policy

    Read and answer more kidney cancer questions.  Also, don't forget to check out our Kidney Cancer page.