• Just need to talk about this to someone without freaking anyone out

    Asked by Jalemans on Saturday, July 12, 2014

    Just need to talk about this to someone without freaking anyone out

    I went to regular MD for a follow-up today after some issues this week with possible blood clots. All is well, but our conversation was quite sobering. He commented about how the chemo has no studies showing it works for my situation & did I know this? (I did). He asked me if I had asked the oncologist how long I would have if the chemo didn't work & stated that I was a straightforward person and that he felt I would want to know this.

    He is correct, but I guess I hadn't quite gotten to that point yet. I knew my odds weren't great, but I guess I hadn't come to the point of being ready to ask how long. I had asked about odds, but not how long if I don't make the odds.

    I am not really upset or anything, just at a new level of realization. I don't think I will ask that question yet.

    19 Answers from the Community

    19 answers
    • GailB's Avatar
      GailB

      As patients we don't like to admit it but the Dr.'s have a hard job in determining what and what not to say to their patients. We as patients sometimes hear the same thing several times before we have that ah ha moment when we fully understand what we are being told. It appears from the posts that most of you prefer the Dr. to give you what I call the sugar coated truth. I myself prefer the cold hard facts, even if they are hard to deal with and accept. I prefer to prepare of the worst and be grateful and over joyed when it doesn't happen. We are not statics, we are individuals and no one has a crystal ball to know who will beat the odds. I bet most of you would say no one born with essentially 1/2 of a heart could survive(this was back in the days of no ultra sound and no clue there was anything wrong prior to his birth) but you would be wrong. My son had the right set of circumstance and he did live and for the most part he had a relatively normal live. Whenever he went to the cardiologist everyone in the building had to see for themselves this little boy that ran and played just like other kids and they were amazed by him. He fought to live and the Dr.'s fought to keep him alive, he didn't know he wasn't suppose to be alive. The Dr.'s made me understand within the first hour of his life he had no chance of living, so when he did survive the first few terrifying weeks I decided to make each day with him count and allow him to experience as much of life as he could. When he lost his fight to live, his heart was still going strong, it was the rest of his body that could handle the stress of 5 major surgeries in 41/2 yrs. My diagnosis is not the worst but it is not the best and my failure to have long periods of remission is not good, but my son is my inspiration for trying to live everyday to it's fullest. I do occasionally have a pity party for myself everyone is entitled to have them, but then you pick yourself up and brush yourself off and enjoy the life you have.

      about 7 years ago
    • Diansky's Avatar
      Diansky

      Jalemans, I wish you the best. I hope your PCP was trying to be the voice in your corner, even if his manner of delivery was not the best for you at this time. In my journey, I am finding my PCP to be a good resource for helping me in understanding my diagnosis, the tests and the odds. Sometimes it is at my PCP visit that previous info has sunk in, then I have questions. I have a great oncologist, too, but he is invested in a different place in the treatment. The onc's work hard to beat the cancer. Your PCP may have wanted to be sure you were not undergoing difficult procedures without a complete understanding of the facts. Sounds like you know what you are doing. Because your PCP cared, he wanted to be sure, I suspect. I hope what you are finding, albeit the hard way, is that you have a committed team and each person works for you from their strengths. Hang in there.

      about 7 years ago
    • cam32505's Avatar
      cam32505

      I had endometrial cancer as well, not the same type as you. I was stage IIIC when diagnosed. I had the works, surgery, chemo, and radiation. The rad onc scared me and said that this type of cancer spreads easily, so they were treating aggressively. I do believe that there are many cancers like this. My grade was a 1, so less aggressive. Yet, I still had thyroid cancer as the same time, but not diagnosed til 18 months after treatment for uterine cancer. My pcp found a lump in my neck before my D&C and wanted to send me for tests, but I told him I couldn't because I was already heading into treatment for possible uterine cancer. So, we both let the ball drop. But, I think I treated the more advanced cancer first, even if by accident. Just live your life. There's always the chance that some miracle treatment will come along by the time you need it. There are probably a lot of them in clinical trials right now.

      about 7 years ago

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