• Keeping a positive attitude

    Asked by Blackmama on Thursday, June 6, 2013

    Keeping a positive attitude

    Hi to all. Thanks to all who have shared on my "many" questions. Among them all is the anger I feel right now. I keep asking God "why?" What have I ever done to deserve this? And while I am a spiritual person, I keep coming up with the same feelings toward God: that he has dealt me a raw deal. I am grateful that at least I NOW know what I have and hope that I can do something about it, but still, my faith waivers greatly and my anger mounts! Any good websites that deal with the spiritual way through this would be greatly appreciated. Blackmama

    7 Answers from the Community

    7 answers
    • leepenn's Avatar

      I don't have a spiritual answer for you, but I do have something else to offer.

      It's okay to not be positive all the time. It's okay to feel fear. It's okay to feel anxiety. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be ANGRY! No one can keep this magical positive attitude all the time - no one. Even cancer patients get out the wrong side of the bed sometimes... And you know what? That's okay.

      So, give yourself some permission to have bad moments... and have your bad moment! Then, carry on....

      I manage to have a positive attitude most of the time - but not all of the time. My biggest piece of advice is show your sad/angry/anxious side with ONLY folks you deeply TRUST. Some of my friends would admonish me for not keeping a positive attitude if I even let a wee bit of anxiety show through... But, my true friends and most loving family members... they could listen... and that was it - they could simply listen and simply be present for me when I needed them. SOOOOOO grateful for those friends and family members.

      GOOD LUCK - and a huge hug.

      about 5 years ago
    • Tracy's Avatar

      Hi Blackmama,
      I wish I had a website for you. We all have our own ways of finding our strength. Anger is so very normal - I live in pain every day, sometimes its so hard to understand why. I have my own faith and I live by the thought that he never gives you more than he knows you can handle. It sometimes seems like he is pushing that boundary awfully hard. But through this you grow. If I don't believe this I would not want to take that next step. So I take what has been given and I try to give what I have learned to others. One day at a time. Just know that you will push through to the other side a stronger person. I hope that I have helped, if you ever want to talk Greg has my email. Tracy

      about 5 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      One site you can sign up on for support is Imermanangels.org they provide someone to talk with you one on one. Lots of people here have used them with good results.

      about 5 years ago
    • Ydnar2xer's Avatar

      NOBODY deserves cancer! That's why I don't believe "God" or any higher spirit "gives it" to anyone! Granted, I am an Atheist, but really, * * * * happens in life! What matters is how we handle it. Do we spend a lot of time thinking "poor me?" Or are we resilient? Do we finally realize what's really important in life? For each of us is only here for a while--and fate has a lot to do with how long we get to stay. As a 2x b/c "recipient" I decided a long time ago to get over my MAD, to DEAL WITH IT and make every day count. But each of us can decide for her/himself how to choose to live after dx. I wish you the best.

      about 5 years ago
    • Cindy's Avatar

      I found the following website that might help: http://www.grassrootsconspiracy.com/blog/2012/04/23/blaming-god-for-cancer/

      about 5 years ago
    • Jray's Avatar

      Hi blackmomma,
      Know this, it's normal and natural to feel anger, frustration,anxiety and many other emotions, especially at first. Remember the " footprints" in the sand, you are not alone, God will carry you through this!

      about 5 years ago
    • Vivenia's Avatar

      I think it is common to wonder what we have done to deserve the bad that happens to us in life. I think it's because as a society we always want to be in control of all of everything that happens to us. In reality there are some things that we can't control, we're not at fault - and no one else is either.

      In my experience with the bad something good always comes along for the ride, you just have to look for it - and sometimes work to maintain it. My relationship with my husband has become much richer and stronger since my initial diagnosis.

      I don't have a website but I will recommend a book. When Bad Things Happen to Good People
      by Harold S. Kushner.

      about 5 years ago

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