• Looking for a support group. Have allot of fear and not dealing with emoitons to well. Dont know who to talk to.

    Asked by RnayRiv on Thursday, July 12, 2012

    Looking for a support group. Have allot of fear and not dealing with emoitons to well. Dont know who to talk to.

    I was told cancer was removed and was only stage 1, but I live everyday worrying and not feeling like I'm cancer free. It's starting to take a toll on me.

    9 Answers from the Community

    9 answers
    • nancyjac's Avatar
      nancyjac

      Check with your oncologist's office. Local support groups usually provide contact info for oncologist in their area to provide to their patients. They should also be able to refer you to a social worker, case worker, patient advocate, etc. that can be very helpful.

      over 5 years ago
    • abrub's Avatar
      abrub

      Is there a Gilda's Club or a Hope Club near you? They have excellent support groups. As NancyJac said, your onc should have suggestions as well. Otherwise, you may be limited to online support groups. American Cancer Society Cancer Survivor Network has a forum dedicated to Kidney cancers, and you will find support there (as I do on their colorectal board.)

      Make sure your drs know about your fear, emotions, sleep issues (if you have them.) Now is a common time to need a therapist and/or meds to help get through the stresses of a cancer diagnosis.

      And yet somehow, we do get through.

      Wishing you well,
      Alice

      over 5 years ago
    • leepenn's Avatar
      leepenn

      oh man - i hear you! we are the same age... i had a great result from my chemotherapy etc.. but that uncertainty can just really nail you! it does get better with time. i can now go entire days without that nagging fear pushing into the front of my thoughts. and when those thoughts do push their way forward, i can usually send them back in relatively short order. i'm just shy of one year since diagnosis.

      you can use the american cancer society website to search for support groups in your area... you might have to go a bit out of your way - like to the outskirts of LA or Irvine or something like that...

      also, a google search using "cancer support groups near Yucaipa, CA" yielded a few hits.

      lastly, your oncologist's office might have a listing of support groups nearby.

      if you can find a good support group, i believe it's a good good thing. i was not sold on going to one, until i went to a good one.

      i got talked into joining a friend at his support group, and it was a terrible match. i was so sad when i got home... and somewhat angry as well. the facilitator was not a good match for me. then, i found a young breast cancer survivor support group, and that is AMAZING. i leave the support group feeling like a weight has lifted from my shoulders. i feel less alone. i feel more hopeful. in fact, i'm bummed that this month's support group has a speaker instead of our regular discussion.

      good luck!

      over 5 years ago
    • steve70x7's Avatar
      steve70x7

      Cancer seems to pop up in my mind no matter what I do. I understand your fears and I think we have all had to deal with it. What I have found helpful is to immerse myself into new things. I have found myself reading about history a lot and imagining what the people of different times went through. I read a lot of blogs on Wordpress. If it's a topic I know nothing about I jump on it, like growing orchards, birdwatching, or learning to fly. These mental exercises seem to keep me from dwelling cancer.

      My Christian faith, reading the Bible and prayer also help, but I need to remain "mindful" of what is consuming my thoughts.

      I pray that you find the peace you are seeking.

      over 5 years ago
    • grnygole's Avatar
      grnygole

      I have had the same problem, feeling even guilty to be so afraid with a stage one diagnosis, when others in much worse situations seem so much more together and courageous. Support groups can be helpful, if only to remind yourself that you are in a really good place with your own cancer. I found a support group through the social worker at the medical center where I had my treatment, but there are a number of organizations you can find online, both for cancer treatment and survivorship. It does get better as you go along, and it helps to read about survivor stories and other positive suggestions for living after cancer. I recommend The Wellness Community, if you live near one of their facilities, and their book The Total Cancer Wellness Guide by Kim Thiboldeaux. Try to think as positive as you can and plan your future as if you will never have cancer again, realizing that even if it does come back, subsequent treatments may be completely successful. There are many people today who are 20 year survivors of cancer, and some people, even with stage 4 cancers have been able to survive. You have a much better than average chance. Believe! It also helps to take one day at a time and fill that day with as much enjoyment and happiness as you can. There will be moments when fear and dread strike you, but you can remind yourself that today you are OK and the tomorrow you fear may never ever happen, so there's no point in worrying about it unless and until it does. Wishing you greater relief from your worry.

      over 5 years ago
    • zippymaus' Avatar
      zippymaus

      Call the 800# from the American Cancer Society. They have tons of resources and they're available 24/7. They are able to help you find support, if not answers. They can hook you up with groups locally that can provide you with some emotional support and information so you don't have to be fearful. They have volunteers who can help you with emotional support, errands, transportation, you name it. I called them and was very grateful for a lot of the contacts they've provided to me as a caretaker. More than anything, don't stress yourself. Stress takes a horrible toll - literally a physical one. You don't want anything adversely affecting your health when you've already fought cancer! Good luck!

      over 5 years ago
    • attypatty's Avatar
      attypatty

      Dear RnayRiv:
      The easiest thing in the world to do is give into the fear. I do it, I think we all do it, at least some of the time. It doesn't matter what stage or grade, whether we need surgery, chemotherapy or long term treatment. The truth is, we know there is no cure and we will never know that cancer won't kill us until we die of other natural causes. So how can a person deal both rationally and emotionally with the fear of recurrence or the fear that we still have some microscopic disease left, just waiting to pounce? On an intellectual level, we can learn all we possibly can, we can question our oncs for answers, we can review our tests and from all that, make some conclusions about the probability of recurrence. But intellectual assurance won't resolve that emotional fear. I have found that I cannot remove that emotional fear, but I CAN and DO replace it with something else - with hope at times, with gratitude for another day full of opportunities, with faith in the love of God and my family, with the belief that I am ok. I have to believe I am ok and that my life will be as long as it is meant to be. I fill every day now with friends, with fun, with the things I always wanted to do. I don't waste time any more, with worry or anger or hateful things. I squeeze out the fears with positive thoughts and actions. It's the only way I can cope. My cancer has actually made my life better.
      Fight On,
      Attypatty

      over 5 years ago
    • attypatty's Avatar
      attypatty

      Dear RnayRiv:
      The easiest thing in the world to do is give into the fear. I do it, I think we all do it, at least some of the time. It doesn't matter what stage or grade, whether we need surgery, chemotherapy or long term treatment. The truth is, we know there is no cure and we will never know that cancer won't kill us until we die of other natural causes. So how can a person deal both rationally and emotionally with the fear of recurrence or the fear that we still have some microscopic disease left, just waiting to pounce? On an intellectual level, we can learn all we possibly can, we can question our oncs for answers, we can review our tests and from all that, make some conclusions about the probability of recurrence. But intellectual assurance won't resolve that emotional fear. I have found that I cannot remove that emotional fear, but I CAN and DO replace it with something else - with hope at times, with gratitude for another day full of opportunities, with faith in the love of God and my family, with the belief that I am ok. I have to believe I am ok and that my life will be as long as it is meant to be. I fill every day now with friends, with fun, with the things I always wanted to do. I don't waste time any more, with worry or anger or hateful things. I squeeze out the fears with positive thoughts and actions. It's the only way I can cope. My cancer has actually made my life better.
      Fight On,
      Attypatty

      over 5 years ago
    • lisaepstein's Avatar
      lisaepstein

      I had stage 1 uterus cancer and stage 1 breast cancer all caught early and I was also told I am fine now and my oncologist does not think it will return. I too am always thinking that the cancer will come back, every pain I have I think its cancer. I went to a group and it made me feel worse those ladies were really sick and it scared the XXX out of me. I hope over time we can go on and live a normal life. I am on anti-depressents and zanix as needed. That word Cancer is very scarey!

      over 5 years ago

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