• Looking to find out more about the end. I think we are in the final stages of life right now but having difficulty determining.

    Asked by bwilliams on Tuesday, February 12, 2013

    Looking to find out more about the end. I think we are in the final stages of life right now but having difficulty determining.

    * major stages
    * how to deal
    * what to expect

    6 Answers from the Community

    6 answers
    • SueRae1's Avatar

      Just sending you lots of hugs. Speak with your mom's oncologist about hospice care, and other medical questions you might have. I can not answer most of your questions but I can tell you what my family did when my parents were in the final weeks of their lives. It helped comfort all of us during this phase, and we realized that it also helped us in months and years afterwards - it's been 6 years for my mom and almost 3 for dad.

      we visited them a lot and told them how much we loved them. We let them know that it was ok to let go, of their suffering we would understand. We kept them as comfortable and pain free as possible. When your mom has the energy try to do something low key that she enjoys. I still remember my then 16 year old daughter reading to my mom and my nephew playing their guitars in my father's hospital room. Reminisce about the fun times you had.

      over 3 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      Do you have Hospice already? If so, they can answer every question you have. I used them for my Mom and Dad. We lost both of them to cancer and had Hospice for both. They were kind and caring, very knowledgable about every stage. When the end was getting close they were able to tell me about how much time, and described the stages. They were right on the nose.

      If I can answer any questions for you, feel free to ask.

      over 3 years ago
    • bwilliams' Avatar

      Thank you so much for the response. We are on hospice right now and have been for about 2 months. She was diagnosed in September and after the first round of treatment we decided to just let the brain tumor take over.
      I was able to talk with hospice last night and they gave us the 2-3 week timeline, more like two but could be three kind of a thing. The hardest part is not knowing when. I teach 2nd grade and have thought about taking off work starting now but am just not sure that it's the right decision.
      I know every case is different but sometimes I just wish that they could say you have ________ many days left....here's how to begin the process.

      Thanks for your responses. I appreciate them.

      over 3 years ago
    • mtolady's Avatar

      bwilliams...Just want to let you know my thoughts and prayers are w/ you and your family,lost my dad to brain cancer 7 yrs ago,only God knows when your loved one will be called home...Just let them know how much they are loved and it's ok to go .....(((HUGS)))

      over 3 years ago
    • vinniesmom's Avatar

      I lost my mom to complications of alzheimer three years ago. About 2 weeks before her death she had a stroke and was in a coma. We put her in hospice and we(all 5 kids) were at her bedside until she passed. Work and outside commitments and responsibilies just didn't seem to matter at that time...she was our mom and we were not going to have her pass alone. They didn't know how long she would hold on, but I for one was going to be there for as long as it took. Prayers to you!!!!

      over 3 years ago
    • misha41510's Avatar

      I know how stressful the uncertainty is and I'm sorry. When my mom was near the end away last year, our our first meeting with hospice happened to be the first day she fell into a coma-like state. Hospice thought we only had a day or two left with her. But turns out my mom slept in that coma for 10 whole days. That was the longest, saddest, and most stressful 10 days of my life. But it was also wonderful because it allowed me time to grieve WITH my mom. Sometimes when I cried whiling I was holding her hand, she'd squeeze it. The hospice nurse said that it was spontaneous, but I'd like to think she heard me.

      over 3 years ago

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