• Moms with Young Kids

    Asked by Miche1229 on Thursday, May 2, 2019

    Moms with Young Kids

    Any moms out there with younger kids who can share some insight or advice on how to get through your bad days with kids and minimal support? My parents live close by and are getting burnt out. My friends have their own lives with their kids. My husband is a rockstar and does everything but he works. I’m in the thick of my chemo treatments and maybe I’m burnt out. I don’t do anything for myself. I’m either recovering from a treatment or taking care of my kids when my husband has work. My mom comes sometimes, but will tell me no if she has other things she needs to do, my in laws take my 1 year old Wednesdays during my treatment and Fridays when it hits me and I can’t function. I guess I just need more help on their days. I’m currently not working, money is tight and I don’t think hiring a nanny is in our budget right now. What did you all do??

    4 Answers from the Community

    4 answers
    • Skyemberr's Avatar
      Skyemberr

      I have an 8 year old abd a 16 year old. My husband is great. He does what he can to help us all. However, I am sick enough that we live with his parents so that my 8 year old can get care like getting help getting ready to go to school, and getting a snack in the afternoon sometimes if I'm not awake to give it to her.

      I'm very very lucky, but even with all of these people helping it still overwhelms my family. In my case I'd reach out to my palliative care program because I have a good social worker there who would probably be the one to help my family get more resources for help or care for my self or to relieve my care providers.

      I don't know what programs are currently out there, but that's where I would turn first if I needed to. They may not have something exactly attuned to helping your kids, but they might have lots attuned to helping you, which would possibly help out the family by helping to get you to chemo and stuff so they can spend more time with your 1 year old.

      I know it can be hard not to feel bad because the cancer keeps you from doing all of the things you want to do, but it is in times like these that it is ok to reach outside of the family and call for backup.

      Good luck to you! I hope I'm right and they have help they can provide to you.

      4 months ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Although I didn't have young children at the same time as cancer, I would call my church or a nearby church and ask about help or if they have any teenagers who would help.

      I would also ask my friends in a way that left it open-ended and non-pressuring, i.e., post on Facebook that you're having a difficult time and if "anybody" has extra time, you would appreciate _______." If you or they don't use Facebook, I would say the same words in an email or phone call.

      You could also ask if anybody would like for you to keep their kids (on your good days) with the agreement they would keep your kids on your bad days (be specific about when).

      You may have to find a way to pay a neighborhood teenager to babysit a few hours a week. I would also really talk to my parents about the problem, so they would probably help more.

      Sometimes people don't realize how bad things are if you don't tell them, so I think that's the key to your solution. Best wishes.

      4 months ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Miche1229,
      I hope the above good ideas got you some help, but if not please call the American Cancer Society. They have lots of volunteers and may find a solution for you, even temporarily. Best wishes!

      4 months ago

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